Behind Perfect
by AlwaysConfusedArtist
Summary: "I pulled out the stained crimson cloth that was once white as snow and held it against my bleeding thigh. I sighed, calmed a bit down. I didn't feel the need to pull my hair out and I didn't feel the need to take the blade and push it into my heart . . . for now." When you have a mother that is always disappointed with you, your life tends to suck. Paul/OC *I do not own Twilight
1. Introductory

**I don't own twilight, but I do own the situations I place them in and my own characters...**

* * *

I glanced around the big living room, or I should say parlor, as they call it. The party guests mingled with each other politely, holding onto their glasses of champagne. All of them just turned into a big blob before my eyes, each person not holding something to make them stand out. I'm not any different. I get clumped in with the rest of the herd of sheep.

We all appeared to be perfect.

I watched as the rotund man, by the name of John, sauntered up to my little family.

"Hello, Scarlett and Luke," he nodded his head at my parents and gave a quick head nod and grunt to my brother, Nathan, and me.

He was my Mom's boss. She works for John, the vice president of a small, but successful company that makes office supplies.

I switched my closed mouth smile to a full on grin for Mom would want me to actually look like I was interested in her job.

"How are you, John," Mom smiled and self-consciously swept a hand over her already perfect blond bun.

"Lovely, Scarlett! Thank you for asking," he laughed, his big belly shaking. His little doughboy face turned even pinker with his bellowing laugh as he put a hand to his stomach.

I smiled at the man and looked at my parents as they laughed quietly with him. Nathan joined in like a pro with them, acting more like an adult than I could.

"It is a wonderful party, sir," Dad added in, smiling to John.

"Glad it is. I have some business I should work out with you Scarlett. If you don't mind of course," John looked at Mom.

"No, I don't care in the least," her smile faltered a little, worried that she had done something wrong.

They started whispering about multiple things about things going on at the office. I tuned them out, not realizing it.

I really couldn't stand these boring events. I was always stuffed into some perfectly ordinary dress and had to act perfectly ordinary. I always had to act perfect. I always had to look perfect. Have the perfect clothes. Have the perfect hairstyle. Have the perfect smile. I even had to have the perfect speech.

That's the thing though, as long as we looked perfect on the outside, then were fine.

You must always have perfect attention to the people who are speaking, but I wasn't usually good at that, which is why Mom was glaring at me.

"Alexia," she all but hissed through her teeth. Her bright blue eyes flared up at me as I looked over at her.

"Huh," I asked dazed. I flinched internally of how much trouble I was going to be in.

"Have you heard of the small town of Forks," Dad asked me slowly.

I looked at him, really worried about how much trouble with Mom I was going to be in this time.

"Oh, no I haven't," I said, trying to look as innocent as possible as I glanced from my Dad's calm blue eyes to Mom's bright furious eyes.

"Well, meet me there tomorrow morning at twelve. The get together is on First Beach. The CEO apparently lives in Forks, but really enjoys his time in La Push. I have no idea why, but this is a big opportunity for us," John said and after words bid us a good night.

"How could you be so impolite, Alexia," Mom whispered angrily at me, "You know how much this means to me. You are so selfish."

I didn't say anything, brought up in the way that you don't speak unless spoken to. Just stand there and look perfect.

"Scar," Dad settled a hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her down.

She whipped her head in a sudden movement to Dad, turning her angered eyes at Dad.

He didn't do anything, but look at me with an apologetic look. He was used to her being angry most of the time.

I glanced down at my pink heels as I switched my weight from one foot to another and straightened the white dress. My face burned from the disappointment that radiated like rays off the sun from them.

Another party guest came up to my mother. They were all as fake as cheese from the can.

When the party was over, we all followed the large crowd of people making their way outside.

Mom's stilettos clicked on the wet ash fault as we headed over to the car. I could tell she was not happy with me once again with the sound of her heels clicking against the ground as her small feet tried to keep up with her racing mind.

As soon as we were all buckled up in the car, all of my flaws poured out of her ruby red lips.

I slouched. I didn't listen. I didn't make eye contact as I spoke. My hair came out of its own perfect bun. My dress had wrinkles in it because I didn't have time to iron it after coming home from after school. I stumbled over my words. I spoke out of turn.

Nathan got an ear too, but not as much as me. No, never as much as me.

"Scarlett, she tries," Dad sighed as he turned down our road.

"Yeah, it's all fine when it's not your job," was her snarky remark.

Dad sighed and ran a hand through his slicked back brown hair. There really was no use trying to tell Mom anything. Either it was Mom's way or the highway.

We turned into the driveway and parked in the garage. Our house bored me to death, it being an exact replica of all of our neighbors seemed so boring.

I got a quick glance at the outside as the garage door started to close and saw the it was, as usual, raining in Olympia, Washington.

I sighed and went into the house.

"Shoes off," Mom said before entering the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes along with Nathan, like we didn't know to take our shoes off. She would kill us if we got her perfectly clean floors dirty.

"You need to study for your test, Alexia," Mom glanced over her shoulder at me from bending down over the counter to look through the mail that sat in the same spot it always did.

"It's Friday, Mom, and the test isn't 'till next Friday," I sighed, hoping to make a quick getaway towards the stairs to go into my room.

"Yes, but you are going to study."

"I'm not going to study for a test if it's not for a while. Plus, I already know all the stuff," I mumbled, switching my heels to the other hand.

"You are studying for that test, Alexia, and that is final," she snapped, bits of her blond hair finally falling out of her scalp-hurting tight bun.

"No, I not," I squinted my eyes at her.

"If your mother wants you to study for a test, then go study, Alexia," Dad sighed walking into the kitchen. His phone stayed in his hands as his fingers swept across the touch screen. He's a doctor at the local hospital and has to always be ready to get called in at any moment.

I couldn't really say no to my dad. He was always getting me out of trouble and as a small child, he would take the blame, but since he's worked so much farther up the medical ladder, he just goes with whatever Mom says.

I spun on my heels, walking into the living room.

"You know, Alexia," I stopped with one foot on the first step, "you're really a disappointment."

That did it.

I flew up the steps, passing Nathans bedroom door and heading straight towards my door.

I slammed the door shut and slid down it.

My teeth clenched, but I didn't feel any of the tears I used to feel when I was younger. My body rocked back and forth on its own accord, my breath caught in my throat once and awhile. I grabbed at my bun and ripped the pony tail holder down, my perfectly ordinary brown hair fell down in loose waves over my shoulder.

I held my head in my hands; my body rocking back and forth like it was trying to make a swing go higher.

I crawled over to my bed in a haze and pulled the white dress over my head. I threw it over to my heels at my door and pulled out the sky blue box under my bed.

I opened it and hastily pulled out the kitchen knife I stole.

I leaned back against the bed and settled my head on the mattress.

I let the silver blade cut into my peach skin and was happy.

I felt the physical pain and my frenzied brain turned towards the problem of the stinging pain radiating through my thigh and all along my leg.

I pulled out the stained crimson cloth that was once white as snow and held it against my bleeding thigh. I sighed, calmed a bit down. I didn't feel the need to pull my hair out and I didn't feel the need to take the blade and push it into my heart . . . for now.

* * *

**Okay, so this is just a test. I wanted to see who would actually read this. I didn't want to write up a whole bunch of the story and figure out no one would read it anyways. This will have Paul in it even though he wasn't here. So, please, review and tell me if you would like me to make this story or else I just won't. I would love to write this! It may be awhile before an update, but that's because I will be writing it. ****Tell me what you think? Forget it or Continue?**

**-GuardianAssassin**


	2. First Beach

**I do not own Twilight or the characters from the stories.**

* * *

I woke up in my bed, just in my underwear. My hand still held the cloth up to my thigh.

I sat up, flinching as a sting shot up my leg. I pulled the cloth up and saw that it was turning into a scab that would soon turn into a scar. It would match all the other ones that scattered my skin. My battle wounds.

There was a knock at the door and I quickly pulled the covers back over my body before Mom popped her head through the doorway.

"We're getting going early. Be sure to be ready," she said in a tired voice.

I could see through the doorway she already had on a maroon skirt with a white blouse and, as usual, stilettos.

I nodded my head and I heard her heels click away from my door and go next door to Nathan's room.

I pulled the covers off of me once again and went into my bathroom to shower.

I let the water turn to a scalding out temperature before I slipped in. I lathered the Aussie shampoo through my hair and conditioned it. After a while, I just let the water run down my back. I relaxed my head against the shower wall, but of course, mother had to ruin it by pounding on the door telling me to hurry up.

I didn't answer, only obeying and got out and dried my hair. I had to straighten it once I was done or Mom would have a cow over that too.

I put on a coral dress and put on some shoes praying to God Mom wouldn't find something less than perfect about it. I added some bangles and a purse to match just to be sure. I wouldn't want to "disappoint" her again.

I went back down the steps and passed Nathan on the way.

"Wrong colored shirt apparently," he mumbled to me.

I looked down at his dark blue shirt, no wrinkles. Of course Mom would find something wrong with it.

I came down the steps and she looked like she was about to say something about my clothes, but Dad saved me.

"Scarlett," he chastised as he jigging the car keys in his hand.

She shot him a look and turned back to me. She pursed her lips at me and turned on her heels going towards the door to the garage.

Nathan came down the steps at the same time as she slammed the door shut behind her.

Dad took in a deep breath, "Let's go."

"So why are we going all the way to La Push," Dad asked as he steered around some curvy bends.

"I told you this many times, Luke," Mom grumbled irritated, "A man who is maybe wanting to do business with us lives in Forks, but spends a lot of time in La Push. John told me that he's a fisherman and if we have to drive this far, then so be it. This will be a lot of money for the company and if we screw up, it will be a big loss. So be on your best behavior."

Mom looked back at me on the last part like I was the biggest trouble maker in the world. She should see the kids in my high school…

We soon arrived at the beach called First Beach.

It looked like any other beach I visited in Washington. Gray, cold water and a gray sky to match. Except, most of the time the beaches are empty because nobody was willing to swim in the water that could give you hypothermia. Around twenty people moseyed around in their business suits looking absolutely out of place.

The women looked down at their heels and look very unhappy about their choice of shoes. I was happy I didn't have heels on.

There was another group off to the side though. They looked more suited for the area though, shirtless men played soccer in the sand and it wasn't weather to go shirtless in.

I even pulled the denim jacket tighter around me as a breeze swept over the beach, but they still all laughed and cheered as someone made a goal in there, I suppose is their goal posts, some pieces of driftwood.

Mom clicked her tongue at them in distaste as two of them roared at each other before they jumped up and clashed their chest together. I tried to hold back a smile as I saw a few other business goers look over at them with matching faces as Mom.

Mom spotted John and immediately made a bee line for him, making sure to pull her feet up higher than usual to avoid getting stuck.

"Scarlett! Luke! Thank you for coming! I would like to introduce you to Jeremy, if I could find him," he squinted his eyes and looked around the people. A smirk formed on his boyish face and pulled Mom towards a man with bright red hair.

We all followed John as he pulled Mom through the crowd like a couple of lost puppies.

"Jeremy, this is Scarlett and her husband, Luke. This is her two kids-"

"Alexia," I said trying to smile politely because John has always forgotten our names and I didn't want to make him look like a terrible idiot, but I didn't do it right by the fire blazing in Mom's blue eyes directed right at me. If looks could kill…

"Nathan," Nathan said in the silence that was quickly becoming awkward.

He held out a hand and shook Jeremy's hand and he did it the right way because Mom didn't give him any looks. She shone her perfect white teeth at Jeremy as him and Nathan made a polite exchange.

"So what do you do as a job, Luke," asked Jeremy as he took a sip of whatever alcoholic beverage his clear cup held.

"I work at a hospital in Olympia most of the time, but go around to other hospitals if needed," Dad replied running a hand through his brown hair, a nervous habit and I bet you anything it has to do with Mom telling him to keep his cell phone in the car.

"Great! So Scarlett, I heard about the company and my small business is wanting a deal, but John here," he clapped a hand on the stubby man's shoulder, " said he would like to get you involved. So when do you think we discuss more about this."

"Right now if you wanted me to, sir," Mom nodded her head excitedly and brushed off her perfect skirt.

"That would be wonderful! Luke join us if you would like," Jeremy nodded his head encouragingly at Dad.

"Of course, I like listing in on Scarlett and her job," he laughed.

"You two be good," Mom pointed a warning glare at us, but lasted mostly on me.

I nodded my head and Nathan promised her he would keep me out of trouble.

They walked away, melting in with the rest of the people.

"This is so boring," Nathan groaned digging in his dress shoes into the sand. All I could think about is if Mom saw him doing that.

"Tell me about it," I complained with him.

We walked in silence for a while, skirting around the edges of the party.

"Mom really gets onto you, doesn't she," Nathan asked looking out towards the ocean.

"You just now noticed? I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You're busy with baseball and studying so much I hardly ever see you. Oh, and don't forget about Arianna," I mumbled and looked down at my tan shoes as they kicked the sand up in a small dirt devil with each step.

He laughed, but it was a bitter laugh, "Yeah, Arianna isn't the greatest, but if it makes Mom happy that I'm dating her then I'm going along with it." He ran a hand through his exact ordinary brown hair as mine, the gesture reminding me of Dad.

He kicked at a rock in the sand with a little more force than necessary and sent it flying into the water.

I smiled, thinking that maybe he was picturing his chesty blond haired beauty as the rock. By his devious smile, I think he was.

I felt something hit my leg and I looked down at the soccer ball as it steadied itself between my feet.

"Nice one," I heard a loud bellowing voice as one of the shirtless guys came running up to me.

"Sorry about that," he muttered as I bent down to pick it up.

I stood up, straightening my dress, hoping that I didn't flash anybody because that would insure Mom to have a heart attack.

"It's alright," I said looking up at the man with devastating beautiful grey eyes.

I stopped as my hands held the ball straight out to him. He had a look upon his face that sent my heart racing and thought I was the going to have the heart attack. His hair wasn't long, but it wasn't short either. Just perfect. He had an air about him that seemed like he was just an immature teenager, but his body told a different story… I really couldn't think of any coherent sentences and forget about talking. His intense stare didn't help either. I just hoped my jaw wasn't dropped like how I thought.

"Come on let's go! I still have to kick your ass," another guy came jogging up to us that seemed to be almost like Paul, but they definitely were different than one another.

He seemed to snap out of it and glared at the guy over his shoulder before turning back to me, glare totally gone. His face softened back up as he looked over at me a small smile, turning into a huge grin, planted on his face.

The ball dropped out of my hand as his large russet hand shot out like a rocket towards me, "Hi, I'm Paul."

* * *

**So, I wanted to give a little bit more to the story to get it going before I start asking for more reviews. If I don't get feedback to continue or not, I don't know what to do. Should I continue? Thank you lollovable for the review! Tell me? Good or bad?**

**-GuardianAssassin**


	3. Paul

**I don't own anything, but Alexia, Nathan, Luke, and Scarlett the evil mother.**

**Thank you to: BarbieRachel, frangipanilover, j1u29, RANDOM COOKIE NINJA, Ashley Ayoub, sugarsweetattack, Georgia, and the Guest.**

** I hope I didn't leave anyone out who reviewed the last chapter. That you who are all following this story and anyone who actually reads this. Thank you all so much!**

* * *

I breathed out a small laugh and extended my hand forward towards his.

His giant hand circled around my hand, dwarfing it. I gasped at the heat that hit my hand, emanating from his hand. He didn't seem all that surprised, a cheeky grin still planted firmly in place.

"Alexia," I said, smiling up to him.

He just gripped my hand tighter and had a flash back from Dad telling me that you could tell a lot about someone by someone's handshake. Dad would appreciate his firm grip.

"Paul," the other guy behind him sighed impatiently.

He seemed to snap back out of it and glanced down at the ball lying between our feet.

"Oh, um, I'm really sorry about that," he mumbled and I could see a slight pink color tinged his cheeks. He bent down and picked up the soccer ball.

"It's okay," I smiled at him, my heart raced pounding against my ribs.

"Paul," the guy behind him whined, his shoulders slumping.

"Shut up, Brady, or I swear you will be running around without a head," he hissed over his shoulder to him.

He turned his attention back to me, an apologetic look overcame his face and his face looked more rosy than just pink now.

"Hello, I'm Nathan," Nathan practically hissed through his teeth.

My heart sped up to an incredible speed as I just remembered my older brother stood by my side and he did not look happy. He stood up taller his back straight, but that didn't challenge Paul's height in the least since he was over six feet. Nathan's tall, though he wasn't as tall as Paul and certainly wasn't as buff as Paul.

"Oh, um," Paul cleared his throat, "I'm Paul." He stuck his hand out hesitantly towards Nathan, nothing like how he shot his hand out to me without another thought.

Nathan gripped his hand and glared at him through the slits of his blue eyes, just like Mom's.

"Paul," someone that stood over where he was originally shouted and waved at him.

"Oh, I should get back," he looked down at the ball he twisted between his fingers. He sounded like going back over there was a death sentence.

"Okay," I nodded and I found it weird that I sounded just as disappointed as him.

"Number," Brady faked coughed.

"Oh, right," a gleam of hope came into his stormy grey eyes, "Can I have your number."

"Sorry, our parents don't let us give out our numbers to random strangers," Nathan smiled, but it wasn't a very nice smile, more sarcastic.

"What they don't know won't hurt them," I whispered over to him.

He turned his glare at me and I knew he wouldn't tell on me.

"So, are you going to give him your number or not, because we really had a game going-"

"Brady," Paul hissed over at him.

"Yeah, my numbers 555-7733, it's really easy to remember," I told him.

He mouthed the digits and looked up at me nodding his head, "I got it. Thank you. Um, talk to you later?"

I nodded my head and he left, punching Brady in the arm while they jogged back over.

I shook my head. Did I just really do that? I talked to some complete stranger, gave them my phone number, and promised to talk to him later? What was wrong with me?

Stupid question. A lot is wrong with me.

I just couldn't stop thinking about the way he looked at me with such intensity, like he was entering the gates of heaven and the way his teeth were perfectly aligned and made a fantastic contrast against his russet skin. He's gorgeous and he talked to me. There was no doubt that something was wrong with me.

"What was that," Nathan asked as walked back over to the party?

I shrugged, "I don't even know."

"That was flirty, Alexia," he sighed running a hand through his hair.

I frowned, I was not flirty. I've never even flirted in my whole entire life time, at least didn't mean to. I didn't even know what I was doing back there. It felt weird, like I was in a trace and could only think about Paul. It felt like all reasonable thoughts got thrown away and thought of Paul took their place. I still couldn't think straight without it leading to Paul.

The grey ocean and matching sky reminded me of his eyes. The red-ish driftwood reminded me of his skin. The sky beaming down on what is usual hidden all the way behind the clouds reminded me of how his face lite up.

We spotted Dad and Mom standing around drinks in hand like the rest of the people laughing and smiling in such a fake way it made me want to puke. Dad waved us over and we obediently went to stand by his side.

"You two should be so proud of your mother," Jeremy smiled brightly at Mom who looked even more proud of herself than she really should, "she gave me a great deal, even though haggling with her is such a pain, she really is a great worker."

They laughed it off, I smiled politely with them.

John looked around at the party, "Have you seen my kid?" He stood up on his toes, not really helping his short height much more, maybe adding a few more centimeters.

I shook my head and Nathan said no.

I wouldn't want to know where she was anyways. She was the Queen Bitch at Olympia High School and I was encouraged, with much pressure, to be friends with her. Mom wanted me to be friends with her bosses kid so much that she offered to buy me a cell phone when I was ten years old, but I didn't of course and then I was reminded of how much she was disappointed with me that I couldn't do one thing for her. Her being disappointed with me turned into I was a disappointment when I was fourteen.

I still refuse to be friends with Grace Marks.

Soon a puff of curly strawberry blond bounced up to us, her radiant clear skin glowing.

"Oh, hey Daddy," she leaned down from the extra height her shoes gave her and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "Hey, Nathan and Alexia! I haven't talked to you guys in forever!"

Yeah, forever being yesterday when she told me how much of I was a "jealous wanna-be."

Nathan nodded politely and I kept a poker face on, not wanting to be nice neither be in trouble with Mom.

"Daddy, we should get going. I have drill team practice at four and then I have lacrosse practice at six," her sickly sweet voice spilled out from her pink tinted lips.

"Already sweetie, thanks for inviting us to the party, Jeremy; it was lovely, business meeting Monday?"

He nodded his head, "Until then, have a great rest of the weekend," Jeremy smiled.

I looked at the Science textbook that lay in front of me on the mahogany desk and read and read the same sentence over and over again, it still not going through my mind.

This was what I was having a test on and Mom practically, no she did, she shoved me into the library and sat me down with the book. I wasn't allowed to come out 'till I memorized all of this stuff and it had to be permanently installed in my mind. That was not going to happen for science.

"Take your finger out of your mouth, Alexia. That's disgusting," Mom came in and settled a book on one of the bookshelves.

I took my middle finger out of my mouth. I still hadn't got out of the habit of chewing on my fingers.

"How is it coming," she asked, wandering over to hover over my shoulder to look down at the text book?

"Just great," I mumbled, glaring down at the black writing that explained the diagram that was quite disturbing looking.

"Don't have that tone with me! I won't let you go to that party this Friday if you don't lose that attitude," she walked out of the room, shutting the doors behind her with more force than necessary.

Two things, I didn't want to go to that party, Grace's party and if anyone except her closed the door like that, except probably her mother, she would have your head and place it above the fireplace.

I sighed and leaned my head back on the chair.

My stomach twisted in an uncomfortable pain and I felt like I needed to scream. My teeth clenched together.

Why wasn't I perfect? Why didn't I have the perfect grades like Nathan? Why didn't I have the perfect natural athletic talent like Grace? Why didn't I have the perfect Charisma like Mom? Why didn't I have the perfect car fee ease like Dad?

I wasn't perfect in anything.

I may appear perfect with my perfect hair and my perfect clothes. I had the perfect house and the perfect car. I'm perfect on the outside, but on the inside it's a revolting monster that has thoughts of killing herself.

Why not? I'm useless. I'm a disappointment.

I don't help the world in the least. Dad and Nathan would get over it and move on with their lives and Mom would probably be joyful because she wouldn't have an imperfect daughter. She still had Nathan, the perfect child, the golden child.

I jolted upright in my seat as I felt a buzz vibrate in the pocket of my jeans.

I sat up and was surprised to feel my face hot and was moist from tears falling slowly in large tears.

I hastily wiped the off and pulled out, once again, a perfect cell phone.

The screen blinked and told me I had a new text message, but the phone number was something I have never seen before. I opened it curious and suddenly felt my face heat up, not in sadness, but in embarrassment and… excitement?

_Hi, this is Paul by the way. You know the one at the beach?_

I smiled at the phone and wiped away another tear that fell that was still waiting in the corner of my eye.

_Hi. Yeah, I know._

I sent back the text and scooted in closer to the desk.

_So, how are you today?_

The phone buzzed in my hand and I replied in a complete lie.

_Great! How about yours?_

I felt a wave of nausea hit me at the lie I told and didn't completely understand why. I lied many times before because when you have Mom as your mom then, in means you have to lie a bit.

_Good. I just haven't been able to get you out of my mind._

It was really cheesy, but something told me that he was being cheesy on purpose and I laughed thinking it sounded like something they would only say in a movie. I blushed after I really thought it really through though.

It didn't seem possible that he would event want to talk to me. I was… me and that wasn't a great thing. I know I couldn't stop thinking about him. All I thought about was his face and his smile as I went to bed last night and my dreams matched my thoughts.

_Really, I have been in my house since after I left the party?_

I decided to keep it lighthearted and not to tell him that him thinking about me almost gives me a heart attack, though I wouldn't ever actually tell anyone that.

_Yeah, pretty sure. I still see your green eyes._

I felt my smile turn even wider and I sniffed my plugged nose.

_My eyes are in between green and blue really…_

_Well, I didn't want to sound like a creeper._

_You already are._

"What are you doing," Mom came bursting through the door again, but this time caught me in the act of not studying?

"Oh, um nothing, taking a break," I said, glancing down at the textbook.

I tried to inconspicuously hide my cell phone, but Mom caught it with her hawk eyesight.

"You were on your phone! That is disappointing, Alexia. You can't study for a text, but you have time to play around on your phone! You are disappointing! Why can't you do anything that I tell you to do," she exclaimed, walking around to be and snatching the phone from my heads.

I let her rip it from my hands and I hung my head down, knowing that if I met her furious blue eyes I would collapse to the floor right there.

Why couldn't I do anything right?

When she walked out again, she slammed the door shut harder than before behind her.

I let myself fall forward, leaning all of my weight on the desk.

No tears came, but dry sobs racked through my body.

I'm useless. I'm stupid. I'm a disappointment. I'm imperfect.

* * *

**OH MY GOSH! Thank you so much for so many reviews! I was literally squealing with joy! Tell me what you think of this chapter? Also, tell me if you want longer chapters because sometimes I hate having to read a whole bunch. What do you think? Was this okay? Thank you all so much again! AHHHHH!**

**-GuardianAssassin**


	4. Party

**I do not own Twilight. If a character the doesn't seem to be in Twilight is here, then most likely it's mine.**

**Thank you for all who reviewed- Ashley Ayoub, frangipanilover, lollovable, and Mythical Words.**

* * *

I woke up, an annoying ringing filling my ears.

I groaned rolling over onto my side, smacking the alarms snooze button.

Rubbing my hands down my face in weariness, I swung my legs over the side of the bed. I started up the shower.

I stepped into the steaming mist filling the shower and let the scalding hot water run down my skin. The hot water stung the fresh cuts that scattered my thighs. It hurt, but I really could care less.

Nathan was waiting for me downstairs, eating at the table in the kitchen. Mom stood by the counter, tapping her foot on the tile, waiting for the coffee to fill the coffee pot.

"Alexia," Mom said turning around me, her hand was closed around something, "you can have this back."

I took the object from her hand and saw that it was my cell phone. I didn't say a word to her, just went into the garage.

Nathan came out a moment later, frowning at me.

"You know, you really are pushing it," he mumbled, pulling the keys off the hook.

He got into the car, a sleek black Kia Optima. I shrugged and opened the car door and sat down on the leather seat. I flung my backpack on the seat behind me.

"We're going to have to pick up Arianna," he said, sitting down in the seat.

He pressed the button to open the garage door. The car rumbled to life when he put the keys in and I sat back grumbling.

"So then I told Heather that Derek was totally cheating on her," Arianna sat behind us, her mouthing running ever since she stepped into the car.

Nathan pulled into the school parking lot and followed all of the other cars.

"Are you even listening to me, Nate," Arianna asked, leaning forward in her seat?

"Yeah, Derek is cheating on Heather," Nathan muttered, pulling into a parking spot.

"So you think so too," she clapped her hands?

"Yeah, sure," he mumbled, getting out of the car.

I pulled my backpack out and walked to the school doors by myself, leaving Nathan and mouthpiece behind me.

I opened my locker and shoved in my backpack, pulling out the books that I would have to lug around with me for a few periods.

"Hey," a familiar voiced sighed by me.

I looked at one of my only true friends, Sadie. Her silky black hair was cropped short into just brushing against her shoulders when we were going into high school so she would look older. Her tan skin was clear and gorgeous. Her skin and her dark brown eyes really showed her Spanish heritage.

"Hi," I said, closing the locker and turning around to lean up against it.

"So what have you been up to," she asked, her books clutched up to her chest?

"Nothing really," I mumbled, pulling out my cell phone that I stuffed into my pocket of my skirt.

I looked at the screen that told me that it had fifty-eight text messages. Looking in the messages, my heart dropped.

They were all from Paul.

I seriously forgot that I was texting him when Mom came in. It all seems like a blur of pain. They were all about questioning me where I was and if I was okay.

_Sorry that I didn't text you back. My mom took away my cell phone._

I clicked my fingers against the touch screen and sent it.

Was he really that worried though? It doesn't seem like he would be that worried, I don't even know the guy. He doesn't know me. If he really knew who I was and how messed up I am, he wouldn't even be trying to contact me at all.

The phone buzzed in my hand and I quickly looked at it.

_Oh, sorry for all the texts…_

I smiled, looking down at the grey chat bubble.

_It's okay._

"So, who's that your texting," Sadie stretched her head over to me, trying to get a glimpse of the screen on my phone?

"Oh, uh, no one," I mumbled, putting my phone down, out of her sight.

"Yes, it is someone. You were smiling at the screen. Who'd you meet," she bumped her shoulder into mine.

"No one," I said, smiling.

I pulled my books tighter to myself and walked forward, planning to head to my class.

"Tell me," she whined, trailing after me.

I pushed past a couple of people before I broke down, "Okay, his names Paul, but I just started talking to him."

"Oh my gosh," she grinned at me, "Where did you meet him?"

"When I had to go to La Push for some business meeting for my Mom. It was on First Beach."

"That so cool," she sighed

I laughed and barreled my way through the halls of Olympia High School.

By the time I got to the car in the, I knew a practically his whole life story Paul.

He was originally from Tacoma, but his Dad and Mom split up when he was younger. His Dad took him and moved to La Push and never saw his Mom again.

I always learned random facts about him, like he loves playing the x-box, he loves lemonheads, he loves to swim, and he hates tomatoes.

He learned stuff about me, but I censored a lot of it not wanting to exactly tell him that my mother was basically a Nazi. I just told him my parents were very strict.

"Hey, Lex," Arianna called, jumping up to the door.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I hated when people called me Lex. Mom would call me that when I was little and I just did not want to bring up old memories.

She took that moment of me not paying attention and grabbed the handle to the passenger seat and climbed in.

I stiffly climbed into the backseat, glaring daggers at the back of the seat.

All the way home we heard about the drama going on between Arianna's friends.

"Hey, Mrs. Gray," Arianna bubbled at Mom as we came in the door.

"Hello, Arianna," Mom smiled back at her.

Arianna grabbed Nathan's hand and I heard her dragging him by the sound of their feet thumping on the ground, soon followed by the sound of the door slamming.

I climbed the steps after them, closing my door behind me.

I started pulling books out of my bag and got to work on my mountainous pile of homework.

"Are you going to Logan's party," Sadie asked as we walked our way to the lunchroom?

"Uh, yeah, I think my mom's forcing me to go," I muttered, setting down my lunch box at a table.

Mom has dreamed of me going out with Logan. He's perfect in Mom's eyes. Most of his family has been doctors in something, his father being an orthodontist. He's also gorgeous, but I just have never seen anything in him.

"I'm going," she said, taking a bite in her sandwich.

"Well, you know I'm not really the party type," I said, sticking a chip into my mouth.

"Yeah, but you know I am," she smiled at me.

I laughed, "Yeah, I know party animal."

"Why do I have to wear this," I practically whined at Sadie as she twisted and turned, looking at herself in all directions in the mirror.

"Logan is very rich, Alexia. These people want to be impressed," she sighed and looked at me in the mirror.

I rolled my eyes. I live impressing people.

I was put in a rosy red dress with the top a little lacy, one of the dresses Mom bought me out of millions she bought me. Sadie was in a lavender dress with sleeves and a collar. I don't know much about fashion, but it all seemed to be a little over the top for a high school party.

"You look great, don't worry," she said, handing over some robin's egg blue heels and a blazer.

I slipped everything on, not wanting to have conflict with one of the only people that like me, maybe the only.

She handed me a clutch and we were on our way.

My heels clacked on the wooden steps and the rest was patted on the carpet in the living room.

It was seven o'clock the last time I checked the time and the party started at six, Sadie wanted to be fashionably late.

"Alexia, can I speak to you," I heard Mom's voice call as we were just about to enter the kitchen.

"Yeah," I sighed, "Go wait at the car for me," I muttered to Sadie.

I went into the study and saw Mom's head bent over her computer her hair still perfect even after all day of work.

"You need to be home at eleven," she said, not looking up from the screen.

"Okay," I nodded my head.

"I saw that you kept getting text messages when I had your phone," her blue eyes looked up to mine for an instant then back down at the glowing desktop.

"Okay," I said again, not getting what she was saying.

"I read some of them."

My whole body literally froze for a minute. My heart stopped a beat, my breathing stopped, and my eyes stayed wide open. My cheeks started to burn. What exactly did she read?

"You don't need to be talking to this Paul anymore. He's not good, Alexia. I don't want you speaking to him anymore," her fingers flew over the keyboard as she spoke.

She read them all. She read what I said to Paul and she read all of the messages where he asked over and over again where I was and if I was okay. She read me attempting to flirt him.

"I saw you at the beach with him. Jeremy said those people are not good, Alexia. You need to stop talking to this Paul," she sighed like I was just a little inconvenience, like she didn't go through my private messages.

Of course they would think Paul wasn't good. He didn't have both parents that worked. He doesn't have a big house. He doesn't have money. He doesn't have a, what they would call, a steady job. He works for the reservation not making much money, but that's better than not having a job at all.

Paul wasn't perfect that's the thing.

"He's just my friend, Mom," I hissed at her, a thing that I would rarely do.

"I read all of the messages, Alexia. Do you think I'm stupid," she took a moment to look up from the screen to look at my furious face.

I was too mad to be embarrassed.

"You can't make me stay away from people just because they're not like you, Mom," I clenched my jaw, trying my best not to scream.

"Yes, I can. Now go to the party and I expect you to obey and not talk to him anymore. I will be supervising your phone account to make sure you aren't speaking to him anymore," she went back to work , none of the recent events happening as she shooed me out of her office.

I wanted to go up to her and slap her. I wanted to scream at her. I wanted to throw things. I wanted to pull my hair out, but instead I stormed out of the room, grabbing the keys to the car.

I slammed the car door when I got in, the garage door not opening fast enough.

"What's wrong? Do you want me to drive," Sadie asked nervously, twisting the handle of her purse over and over again in her fingers.

I gripped at the steering wheel tighter in my hands as I drove way over the speed limit, "No, she just doesn't want me hanging out with people who actually have a mind of their own."

I turned around corners with too much speed, but we made it to the big crème colored house right on the Puget Sound.

I parked in the road a little ways away, every other place filled with a car.

I stomped my way up the sidewalk to the house, anger fueling me energy to hike up the pretty steep hill in high heels. Sadie jogged behind me.

I walked into the house, music blaring, kids dancing and most of all, drunken people and lots of them.

One thing my mom was blind to. They may look perfect on the outside, but on the inside it was this.

Everyone was bouncing up and down in the big living room, music seeming to come from all directions. My guess is that they have surround sound.

Second thing my mom was blind to. The kids with rich parents don't have parents that would stay to chaperone a party, their all-out working for the giant house.

I wasn't here for dancing though; my mission was in the kitchen.

I walked into the gleaming white kitchen, kegs filled the ground.

I took a red cup that sat in one of the nice stacks on the counter and filled it to the brim with the yellow stuff and chugged it.

It sizzled down my throat and made me want to cough, but I didn't. I filled another, chugging that one down also.

I stumbled back a little when I leaned my head forward again after the third cup.

"Alexia! Alexia, I think that's enough," Sadie cried frantically.

We weren't ever the ones to drink to get drunk and I've never chugged a beer before, but it numbed out my mother's nagging voice always shouting disappointment about me in the back of my mind.

"I-I'm alright," I mumbled, steading myself again with the help of Sadie's hands cradling my waist.

"Are you sure," she asked, her brown eyes gazing over at me with worry?

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure," I waved her off, "Go find Danny."

Danny was her boyfriend, well actually not yet, but will be someday.

"Are you sure," she asked, but I could see the spark of excitement gleam in her eyes?

I nodded my head and she squealed running back off into the living room with the bouncing crowd.

I looked around for a second, not really sure what to do with myself now. My head buzzed and everything looked a little fuzzy. The world spun around, the walls tilted around, the floor waving like the sea.

"Alexia, is that you?"

I turned around, trying to be slow, but I stumbled on my feet a little.

"Yeah, yeah, it's me," I mumbled after catching myself and pressing a hand up to my forehead.

"You look great," Logan smiled at me, showing off his perfectly straight white teeth.

"Yeah, thanks," I mumbled, blinking my eyes, trying to get a clearer picture of Logan.

He stood there awkwardly in his own kitchen, his hands in his pockets. He ran a hand through his black hair and flashed me another smile, as he caught me staring, his blue eyes glowing bright.

A shiver ran up my spine thinking of blue eyes.

"You look great, too," I said, being polite, but he really did, as usual.

He pushed up the sleeves of his white button up shirt, "Thanks."

His cheeks were always a little rosy, but now it showed up brighter in his pale skin.

He was really cute and I did something I didn't mean to do and stumbled forward into his arms, letting him catch me.

"You're really cute," I said in a dreamy voice, pushing back a strand of his black hair.

The world still spun around me, Logan's face coming in and out of my vision. I wanted to kiss his lips for no reason really, just to do it.

My mind thought it and then I found myself actually doing it.

_Thanks alcohol…_

His breath tasted minty and he didn't really seem experienced in kissing, but neither was I.

We did whatever felt natural our lips moving in synchronization. I smelt the beer coming from my breath, fanning out over Logan's face. I wasn't sure how he was standing it?

All I thought about was Mom would be proud. She would be proud that I was finally hanging out with the Blume's boy. She would be proud that I was doing this for her. I finally listened to her. This was all for her.

I kissed him with more force and he fell against the wall behind him from surprise.

Somehow and sometime, we ended up in a large bed, with his shirt and my dress pulled off and left on the floor. The bed held many plushy white pillows, Logan threw off and a feather comforter.

I straddled his hips as he leaned against the pillows, gripping my bare hips.

Mom would be proud. I was doing what she asked. She would be proud.

My eyes fluttered open to more light filtering in through my eyelids than usual.

I flung my arm over my eye when I opened my eyes, the sun betting through my eye sockets and all the way to my scull.

It felt like someone smashed me in the head with a hammer or maybe an axe.

Things rested over my waist, restraining me into something.

My stomach sunk.

What in the _hell _did I do?

I looked over my shoulder, my worst fears being confirmed.

Logan slept peacefully behind me on his side, his legs forming the outline of my own curled up legs. His bare chest pressed up against my bare back.

I felt my whole body heat up.

My whole _bare_ body pressed against his whole _bare_ body.

My heart raced, beating against my stomach. I felt it in my throat, beating against my neck. A burning feeling rose up from my stomach to my throat and I shot towards the open door to the bathroom.

It felt like all my organs were emptied into the toilet right there.

I leaned against the pristine white toilet, the coolness of the porcelain cooling my clamming skin and making my pounding headache feel a little bit better.

"Are-are you okay?"

I looked over in the door way, Logan standing there awkwardly once again. He put his boxers back on, his fit body standing there. I was thankful that I got up after my first hurl and threw on the first thing I saw, his button up shirt from last night.

I twisted my head again, closing my eyes against the side of the toilet, "Yeah," I croaked out.

I stood up a little, falling off my balance a little, but Logan caught me.

"Thank you," I muttered.

Everything just felt so awkward. This is definitely not how I wanted my first time to be like, nor how I imagined it.

"You're welcome. Would you like some coffee or something," he asked letting me go and following me back into the bedroom.

"Um, I really should be going," I muttered, picking my dress up off the floor.

I spun around, my back facing him, and took the shirt off slipping the dress back on.

"Yeah, right," he muttered, running a hand through his hair before handing me my shoes and clutch.

"Thanks," I said again and wondered out of the room.

When I went into the living room, Logan following behind me, my jaw dropped at the mess. It looked like a tornado hit.

"Where are you parents," I asked curiously, reaching in my clutch for the car keys?

"They went on a business trip for the weekend."

I nodded my head, but my eye caught a moving form on the now stained white couch.

"Sadie," I asked, looking at her?

Her dress was halfway ripped off of her shoulder. I noticed more numerous forms filling the floor and spreading along all of the furniture.

"Hmmh," she mumbled as she sat up, opening her eyes. She clutched at her head as soon as they opened and groaned.

"Sadie, we have to go," I said, walking over to her and helping her off the couch.

"I-I don't have my shoes," she mumbled in a daze.

"I'll find them and bring them to school Monday," Logan offered, standing there once again awkwardly.

"Please," I begged, picking up Sadie by the waist. Her head lolled to the side on my shoulder, she got more hammered than me.

I walked her to the door, Logan opening it for me. I held my shoes and clutch in one hand and the other helped support a half awake Sadie.

"Um, thank you again," I murmured. I wasn't exactly sure what to say, what did you say in a situation like this.

He nodded his head and ran a hand through his messy black hair.

"See you Monday," I asked?

He nodded his head and smiled a little at me, "See you Monday."

I smiled back at him and began to descend down the steps. When we hit the sidewalk I heard the door shut behind us.

I got Sadie in the car and dropped her off at her house. She was awake by then, just the pounding headache that I have still going.

I drove home, going under the speed limit wanting to prolong going home to see my parents. I don't even know what they will do. There's nothing to ground me from and they already banned me from talking to Paul.

They will find out what happened last night. It will make me even that much more imperfect. I don't have my innocence anymore. I'm not pure at all, tinted,

More disappointment from my parents will be placed on me. I will always be a disappointment. I will never do anything right. I will always be in pain, emotional pain. I will always want to numb the pain, anything to numb the pain.

I just hope I will still be numb enough not to feel the words that Mom will say to me.

She will tell me how much she doesn't like who I am. She will tell me that I'm selfish, I'm stupid, I'm a disappointment, and I'm imperfect.

Maybe all of those things are true. They_ are_ true. I deserve the words that she tells me, yet I keep disappointing no matter what I do.

All I kept thinking about was how much Mom is going to be disappointed in me.

* * *

**So, I made this chapter longer. Tell me what you think? Thank you again for all of the reviews! It makes my day everytime I see one! I appreciate every single person who reads this story. It makes me feel even better when I know what you're all thinking and since I can't read minds like Edward, then I need you to tell me yourself. Oh, and I have pictures on my profile for this story if you want to check that out! Thanks again!**

**-GuardianAssassin**


	5. Internet

**I do not own Twilight. I do own Alexia though so... please don't take her away.**

* * *

I was right.

Mom's words came at me over and over again like a machine gun shooting bullets, but the words cut through me like a knife. It was all so slow and painful.

Both my parents smelled the alcohol that my body reeked of. The dress that I wore the night before that looked so good, now looked out of place on my haggard body. Make-up was caked on my skin and my high heels hung off of my fingertips, while I watched Mom's face turn red and Dad's face help only disappointment.

I headed upstairs, passing Nathan as he gave me a wary glance.

I closed my bedroom door silently behind me and my teeth instantly gritted together, tears prickling at the edge of my eyes.

My heels ended up being throw in the closet with my dress, leaving only my underwear. My cell phone that I sat on my nightstand blinked in a hazard with lights, signaling the unread text messages that filled my inbox, all from Paul.

I pulled the box out from under my bed with more strength than necessary as it came flying at me and I tumbled on the perfectly clean white carpet.

I pulled out all the materials and let the blade glide with ease over my skin on my thigh. The rush of crimson rushed out, but the raggedy cloth was there to catch it.

I felt the sting, but my mother's words still came at me over and over again through my mind, the pain from my leg not helping to take away the stabs of her words.

I made another incision over my other thigh. My leg tensed up under the knife, being that I have never cut that one. It was enough. I felt the sting in my leg and cringed at the pain. It shot through my leg and up to my abdomen, making a wave of nausea hit me.

My intense breathing slowed down to a calming pace and I felt alive again.

After, I actually had a clear mind; I remembered something that my parents have forgotten. The internet. They don't have any monitoring on that and after explaining to my parents the one text message I sent him was to inform him that I was not to speak to him, they accepted. The actual message was informing Paul that I had an account on one of the popular social websites and I would have to contact him there.

It was amazing though. Whenever I felt like I was slowly sinking into a numbing state, I talked to Paul and he made me alive again. I didn't have to feel physical pain to feel living, except for the occasional time where Mom finds something terribly wrong with me, and then I can't stop myself. I feel like a zombie and feeling an actual blade cut through me and it taking away all other painful thoughts, it's no comparison.

We talk about useless stuff, nothing really serious, but that's what I liked. I didn't talk about tests or parties. Nothing, but lighthearted things.

He volunteers on the reservation, doing lots of stuff. He's twenty and my parents would most certainly not like that even though he's only three years older than me. I told him about Nathan and his bimbo-of-a-girlfriend. I told him about Sadie and how she's my best friend and only friend. He couldn't believe that. He says that he hangs out with all the guys that I saw at the beach, they're all like brothers to him. He told me that he doesn't have a girlfriend and my heart beat faster in my chest in an extremely uncomfortable way that I did not like.

I jumped as there was a knock at my door and I quickly shut out of the window and opened the word file that held my social studies essay.

Dad's head popped in and he looked a bit uneasy about this.

"We have to go to one of my co-workers houses for dinner tonight," he said.

I nodded, "Okay, I will get ready."

All he did was nod and pull his head back, closing the door.

I smiled a little and turned back to my laptop on my desk. I quickly typed a good-bye to Paul before I logged off and got ready.

After slipping on my black flats, I headed downstairs.

The, what they called it, a get together was boring as usual. I was on my best behavior, so that didn't allow me to have too much trouble with Mom.

When I got back home, I just then realized how long my life had been improving from just talking to Paul. It was such a miracle that I haven't gone mad. Mom's words didn't hurt me as much now. I thought about how Paul cared how exactly I'm doing. Why should I care what Mom thinks? She thinks everything is wrong unless she's done it or she says it.

I stand there and wait for her to tell me everything I do that is wrong and then go talk to Paul.

I walked over to my window and opened it letting in the cool autumn breeze. Most people go around in their coats around this time of year, but I like to feel the cool breeze nipping at my bare skin and the rain hitting me. It was refreshing and made me smile.

I heard a beep signal from my laptop. I new message.

_Do you want to hang out sometime?_

I bit down on my lip thinking.

I would like to see him, but how? It was kind of hard now since my parents were actually caring about where I went and who I was with since the party. Even though my parents weren't very good parents, I still didn't like to lie to them. My Dad could care less, his work more important.

_Where at?_

I typed the keys and sat back in my chair, pinching at my palm.

_The haunted corn maze off of I-5._

A haunted corn maze, really? I don't really like scary things, but that does sound kind of fun. If I told Mom I would be going with Sadie that would be believable. Sadie would drag me along to that sort of thing. We actually did go a few times in the past. Maybe Sadie could come? I think I would be a little more comfortable with that.

_That sounds good. Can my friend Sadie come along?_

I texted Sadie while I waited for a reply and got an answer of a big yes from her before I got a message back from Paul.

_Yeah, sure. Do you mind if one of my friends comes along?_

I snickered to myself thinking of Sadie getting set-up with someone. I would have a fit, but she would probably love it. If she saw Paul anyway she would ask if he had a brother.

_I don't mind at all._

I smiled to myself as I curled my feet up to my chest as I thought about getting to see Paul again, for only the second time. I got sick to my stomach then thinking about what was I going to wear? God, I'm such a girl.

On the twenty-third of October, Sadie and I stood in my small bathroom, getting ready in the mirror, elbows jabbing each other.

"Move Alexia," Sadie whined at me as she held the mascara brush up to her eye.

"This is my bathroom," I mumbled, spreading blush onto my cheeks.

"Well sorry, Ms. Grumpy," she muttered, putting on pink lip gloss.

I smiled at her in the mirror, brushing the mascara gently across my own eyelashes, "Apology accepted, Ms. Excited."

She grinned at me, walking out of the bathroom and into my room. She was super excited after I told her that Paul's friends were super attractive and I am sure I would be bugged more from her after I said that.

I trailed out of the bathroom after her, shutting the lights off.

I zipped up my jacket and brushed off my jeans that I found in the back of my closet. I was ecstatic when I find my old tennis shoes to and slipped those on. I threw my over my shoulder after checking to see if my keys were in there.

"Ready," I asked?

Sadie nodded her head, her freshly curled black hair bouncing with her head.

We got to the corn maze around eight o'clock.

We walked up to the stand to buy tickets, buying two tickets to get inside where we were to wait for Paul and whoever he had with him.

"Where are they," Sadie asked, looking at her phone.

"I don't know," I said, looking around at the crowded place.

"Alexia," I heard a deep voice ask?

I looked up and saw Paul with another guy, and to much Sadie's disappointment, a girl holding hands with the other guy.

"Why," Sadie hissed through her teeth?

I ignored her as he walked up to me, just how I remember him, but somehow even more so gorgeous.

"Hi," I mumbled as he swooped in and gave me a big hug.

It seemed like it would be weird after only talking to him in person once, but it wasn't. It was like I knew him since the beginning of time. I actually gave him a hug back, too stunned to realize his body temperature was way too hot for normal.

He drew back, a big grin on his face.

My heart skipped a beat at his goofy smile, but his grey eyes twinkled under the moonlight, an okay, the street lamps.

"I so happy I get to see you," he muttered, sounding a little out of breath.

"Me too," I smiled, hoping I was really making him as happy as I was right now.

The guy behind him cleared his throat.

"Oh, right, this is Jared and his girlfriend Kim," he said, waving his hand behind him, but not taking his eyes off of mine.

"Hi, this is Sadie and I'm Alexia," I said, taking my eyes off of Paul for a second to smile at the guy behind Paul that looked similar to Paul and the girl that looked Native American also. Her long black silky hair pulled back with a hair band.

"Hi," Kim gave a small wave.

"We heard a lot about you. Glad to finally meet the girl that Paul always has on his mind and will not shut up about," Jared laughed a warm laugh that extinguished the awkward air that hung around every time you met someone new.

I felt my cheeks heat up, embarrassment replacing awkward.

"Shut up, Jared," Paul hissed at him.

Jared shrugged, but I smiled up at Paul, reassuring him that it was fine.

"So are we going to get this show on the road," Sadie asked, a little bit too bitter, which I think everyone picked up on from their laughs.

We walked up to the entrance, chainsaw noises echoing from inside the maze. The wind blew through the corn stalks, creating an even more eerie felling than before.

"This is creepy," Sadie muttered, peering into the entrance.

"Are you sure we should go in," Kim whispered, clutching onto Jared's arm for dear life.

Jared tried to not smile as he, squeezed her into his side, but I saw his smile crack.

"Come on, Kimmie. This could be a whole lot scarier," Paul smiled back at Kim, but smiled like it was some inside of joke.

She smiled a bit, but her tan face drained color when we heard a chainsaw noised and a scream pierced the night.

"Come on," Sadie said, marching into the maze.

Paul and I followed behind Jared and Kim as Sadie lead the way.

We walked for a few minutes, nothing happening except our fits of laughter when Kim jumped up onto Jared when a squirrel came out through the stalks.

"What was that," Sadie asked, skidding to a halt?

"It's a haunted corn maze, Sadie. What do you think it was," I asked her?

"Ahhhhh," Sadie screeched, followed by Kim, shoving herself up into Jared's sweatshirt.

I person jumped out in a scream mask and suit, shaking his arms in front of Sadie as she hid her eyes under her arm, screaming.

I laughed and the kid went back into the shadows.

"That was not funny," Sadie whined, getting up from the ground.

"Yes it was," I laughed helping her up.

"Kim, come on," Jared tried not to laugh as he pulled on her.

He pulled her out, but she instantly clung onto his chest, her eyes shut closed tight.

"Maybe we should take the shortcut," Sadie said, her voice shaking as she glanced around the spot we stopped in?

"Shortcut? Yes, please," Kim nodded her head wildly against Jared's chest.

"There's a short cut they make for wimps," I said to Paul as he gave me a questioning look.

"Oh," he nodded his head.

"I don't want to take the shortcut," I said.

"Me neither," Paul said right after me.

"Fine, well you two can go to the end, problem solved," Sadie said, crossing her arms.

"That's fine with me," Jared agreed, dragging Kim along with him, following Sadie as she lead them down the opposite tunnel we were headed down.

"I guess it's just you and me," Paul said, smiling at me.

I nodded and we continued walking side by side.

"Gotten in trouble with your Mom lately," he asked?

"No, not really, except for the usual of not getting good enough grades," I sighed, my breath making a cloud in the dark night.

"That's good," he said, "Sadie seems cool."

"Yeah, once you get to know her she could get annoying, but she's a good friend," I laughed, "Jared and Kim seem nice."

He laughed, making my heart beat into my throat, "Yeah, once you get to know them, they get pretty disgusting with their gooey mushy stuff."

I laughed with him, I could see that. Whenever Sadie had a boyfriend, it would make me curl my noise up in disgust, especially when they would play the 'no-you-hang-up' game over the phone. It would make me even more disgusted when I would start to feel jealous over her. I wanted that. I wanted to have someone to talk to and constantly dote over me, but my parents never allowed me to have a boyfriend, unless it was someone they approve of and I definitely did not like whoever they picked out.

I jumped as I heard something crack behind us and my arm brushed against Paul's, sending electricity shooting through my arm, my fingertips tingling.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

I looked up at Paul, but he already stared down at me, his story grey eyes fiery with some sort of passion.

"It's okay," he said, shaking his head and clearing his throat, looking back forward.

Another crack sound happened and I jumped, grasping at Paul's arm, his thick muscular arm. I gulped as overwhelming emotions crashed onto me. Fear, excitement, worry, happy, confusion…

I didn't have time to apologize or get off of leaning on Paul because a person in a Michael Myers costume jumped out, pulling on the chainsaw.

I didn't scream like Sadie or cry like Kim would. I grasped onto Paul's arm, pulling him closer to him and closing my eyes, all on instinct. He felt safe and I felt like he would protect me.

The chainsaw stopped, probably after he saw that he didn't have anyone to actually scare and I heard a rustle, he was gone.

I pulled myself off of Paul, my face on fire from my emotions, but also from Paul's temperature as it seeped through his own navy blue sweatshirt.

"Sorry," I mumbled, yet again tonight, and started walking again.

I heard his footfalls follow after me and his arm brush up against mine, before he gripped my hand in his large one.

"Don't say sorry when I like something," he smiled at me and I swear I heard my breath catch out loud, his bright smile widening, proving my speculations even further.

_God, I'm such a girl._

We finished the corn maze, a few people jumping at us along the way, but I was protected by Paul as I clung onto his arm.

We found Jared with Kim and Sadie by the concession stands. Kim sipped on a drink, Jared watched her while she talked, and Sadie was on her phone playing a game.

"How did it go," Kim asked, taking another sip of her drink.

"It looks like it went pretty well," Jared said, eyeing our tangled hands.

I blushed, but Sadie smiled at me in a sort of a proud parent type of way.

"Yeah, it did," Paul said, not sounding the least bit ashamed.

I took a seat next to Sadie, my hand staying put in Paul's, where it felt like it was right, as he took a seat right next to me.

"Any hobbies, Alexia," Jared asked me, taking his eyes off of Kim as she slurped on the straw?

"No, not really. I just try to stay out of my mother's wrath," I smiled, trying to make it a joke, but it hurt me to talk about it.

"I see, me too," he smiled at me, but I could tell he knew it was different with me somehow, "Kim likes to study."

"That's not a hobby, Jared," Kim sighed, like it was a subject that came up often.

"Even if it's not its good," I grinned at Kim as she did back.

"I'm terrible at school," Sadie muttered, looking completely un-thrilled by this outing.

"Yeah, it is and Paul likes boating," Jared said, nodding his head at his friend.

Sadie perked up from her position of leaning on the picnic table, "Do you have your own boat?"

"Yeah, but it's not a yacht or anything like your probably thinking of," Paul laughed at Sadie.

She seemed to settle down a bit, but it still interested her and I could tell she was thinking thoughts that wouldn't be too good by the twinkle in her eye.

"That's really cool. I've never been on a boat," I said.

"I know," Paul nudged his shoulder lightly into mine, "That's why I'm going to take you on my sometime."

"Oh, for the future, I would love to go," Sadie added in.

I rolled my eyes at her, but we all laughed.

Nothing was awkward between any of us, but I seemed to be awkward. It was weird that I felt happy. That I felt carefree. That I felt comfortable. It all seemed weird that I could be so relaxed when it seems like my whole life was always on edge, I was always stressed. It was weird that I could lean on something without getting in trouble for not staying straight. It was weird that sometimes I could interrupt and put in my two cents without having directly acted a question.

It was weird, but it felt so right.

"When do you think we could actually talk in person again," Paul questioned as we walked back to my car in the way back in the parking lot.

Sadie already went to the car after getting cold and same with Kim, but Jared took her back to the car they came in.

"I don't know. We would have to figure that out," I mumbled, not really knowing when I could get out of my mother's watchful eye.

"We'll talk," he muttered.

I nodded my head, looking up at him as we walked.

I felt so lost. I don't know how I would have a relationship outside of the internet with Paul with mom. My heart fluttered around him. His smile, his laugh, could set my whole body reacting in ways that it has never reacted before. I could hold onto him forever and be happy, but how could I have him in my life with a mom like mine. I'm still only seventeen and can't move out by myself, what could I do?

I was jolted from my thoughts as Paul's hand tugged on me, pulling me to a stop on the edge of the parking lot and surrounding forest.

"What's wrong," he asked his grey eyes boring down on me?

"I-I don't know how to do this," I muttered, my whole body burning.

"Do what?"

"Do this," I said, lifting up our intertwined hands and letting them fall back down.

"There's nothing to do, but just act," he mumbled, his lips moving and calling to me to press my own lips against his soft, warm looking ones.

"I-I-I can't," I stuttered, my eyes still going from his eyes to his lips.

"You can," he murmured before leaning his head down to mine, his warm breath spreading over my face.

He glanced into my eyes and let his lips move onto mine. His warm and soft lips moved against mine in a slow motion that felt good, but I felt the need to press my lips further to his, but I resisted. He put his arm around my waist pulling me closer to his feverish body while my hand wrapped around his neck, straining to pull myself up farther to his lips. Our hands, all the while, stayed linked together.

"I'll talk to you later," Paul asked from the window of my car as I stuck the keys in the ignition.

"For sure," I said smiling at him.

From the lights that came from the car that Sadie had turned on looking for a phone charger, I could see Paul's russet cheeks still tinted flushed pink from our kiss. It made me want to kiss him again, but it was already nine-fifty and we had to get going. Plus, Sadie wanted to pick up something to eat because she didn't eat any dinner, neither did I, but that was the last thing on my mind.

"Bye, Alexia," he called over his shoulder as he walked to the other side of the packed parking lot.

I smiled and pulled out of the spot and got in line to get out of the parking lot.

"Well, you had a fun time," Sadie mumbled, turning off the lights.

"Yeah, I did," I smiled, which seemed like all I could do.

She reached over and turned on the lights again. I felt her stare and turned to look at her. She squinted her eyes at me.

"Did you kiss him?"

"Yes," I mumbled, but I couldn't stop the silly school girl that emanated from me.

I saw Sadie smirk, "I'll have to watch that boy."

I laughed. Sadie really was a great friend. She may get annoying, but she's good to have. Yet, she can't stop me from not hurting the way Paul can. He makes me feel carefree. He makes me happy. Paul gives me everything without even knowing it. He doesn't know that he stops me from harming myself. He doesn't know that before I was talking to him I would rather be dead than existing. I'd like to keep it that way, but the way his grey eyes stare at me, I sense that I would break and tell him everything.

I only know little about Paul and I've only known him for a while, but he still gives me everything that matters. He doesn't make me feel low about myself like so many other people do. He doesn't make me feel like I'm a disappointment. He doesn't make me feel like I have to be perfect, yet somehow he looks at me like I am perfect.

* * *

**Thank you again for so many of the reviews. Sorry about not putting everybody who reviewed at the beginning. It's really late right now, but I will put it next chapter. Sorry that this chapter didn't come sooner, family issues and my sister is visiting. There's pictures on my profile, go check them out if you fancy. I've been thinking about changing my author name, what do you think? Thank you, thank you again for so many reviews! They all make my day everytime I read one! Paul's P.O.V.? What do you think? Please do tell!**

**-GuardianAssassin**


	6. Halloween

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight **

* * *

**Warning: There is some swearing, if you don't want swearing, P.M. me and I will get you an edited version as soon as possible.**

**PAUL'S P.O.V. **

My muscles clenched and unclenched under my skin and fur. The wind that whistled through the trees blew through my grey fur sending a cool chill to my over than normal temperature.

I could see everything, from the ocean's tides turning in the distance to the ants climbing their way up an evergreen tree. It is amazing to be a wolf and experience this, but it also came with the price of having to fight bloodsuckers. Don't get me wrong, I love to take down the leeches, but not when I had to patrol at the crack of dawn all the way into the afternoons just because Sam was tending to a heavily pregnant Emily.

I had the duty to patrol on my own.

The youngsters have school and Sam made sure that was their first priority, Sam was with Emily, and Jared would be trading off with me at twelve. Sam would take up after him once Emily got to sleep.

Sam's so whipped.

_I'm so whipped._

I snorted to myself as I rounded around a tree to get right on the line of the border.

Just yesterday I was complaining that I didn't get to see Alexia enough. Then I was complaining to Jared that I wished she didn't have a bitch for a mother. Then I got laughed at because I excused myself from playing x-box because I promised Alexia I would talk to her.

I promised myself when I became a wolf I would never imprint, not wanting to be one of the dogs on a short leash. I promised that I would stick with not being tied down to one person, but now I wanted to be tied down. More specifically, I want to be tied down to Alexia. I would lover her to tie me down…

I shook my head.

Another problem with wolfy powers, no privacy. I cannot think any thought about Alexia without everybody knowing. Going to see her at the corn maze last week only turned my thoughts all the more vivid and crude.

I can now imagine her long legs wrapped around me and her long brown hair falling onto me. I can imagine her eyes, that always seem to have a little pain in them, light up with passion. Her pink lips would caress my neck and nip at my jaw…

I growled at myself. I shouldn't think those thoughts about her, I have no right to.

My toes curled up in a tense pose and I rounded another corner, but a little too sharply. I caught my balance as I tilted over a little and propelled back forward again.

I could really kill her parents. I have many reasons to.

I can tell that it isn't the usual strict parents. Jared's parents are strict, not letting him and Kim alone in the house by themselves, that type of thing, but they don't yell at you if you get anything less than an A. They would die if they saw my grades…

That's why they don't let me see her. That stupid jackass had to tell them that we were some sort of gang of drop-outs. I would like to see him go to school and have a job like me. I'm not rich, my Dad's a fisherman and took me away from my mother when we lived in Tacoma when I was little. Dad practically raised me. Now, I live in a rented house with Jared and Kim that the council provided. Since I can't get a real job, they help me out since I work for Sam killing leeches.

I sighed. I wished I had money so Alexia's parents could at least let me talk to her without having to be online and not getting to see her face, except for her profile picture. I wished I at least got to hear her voice, but no.

_Damn it! I'm such a girl!_

I skidded to a stop, not wanting to go over the cliff into the jagged rocks and potentially harm myself. I turned back around and headed the way I just came from.

Why can't I just be the hard ass Paul I was before? I wouldn't trade not knowing Alexia for anything, she's the greatest thing that happened to me, but why do I have to turn into such a baby? Why?

I rounded another tree, but stopped in my tracks, catching a scent. I breathed in deeply and I felt the wolf growl in instinct. The sweet minty smell assaulted my nostrils, burning all the way into my brain. My nose crinkled up at the awful smell.

I rather be kissing Alexia, making her breathless and watch her pale cheeks turn pink, but for now, it was Showtime.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I walked into the small house, the woods that I just came from right behind it.

I rummaged through the fridge looking for something to eat. Grabbing the last piece of cheese, I ate what was left to eat in the kitchen that was edible.

"We really need to go to the store," Kim sighed, as she watched me jam the cheddar cheese into my mouth, not at all satisfying my growling stomach.

"You think," I asked sarcastically after swallowing?

"Well, I only have one hundred dollars left and it has to last through the rest of this month. So, what do you suppose we should do, Pauly," she smirked at me, crossing her arms over her chest?

I smirked back at her, knowing her devious plan, "I think we should spend all of the money, Kimmie, so then we can go and eat the delicious food that our Jared's mom cooks up."

"Your plan not mine," she said, turning on her heels, walking towards the door, grabbing her purse along the way.

"Always is Kimmie, always is," I laughed, following after the person with money.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"What should we get, super strength or super absorbent," Kim questioned, looking between the two different paper towels?

I scratched my head. How the hell was I supposed to know?

"When I think of super absorbent, I think of a vampire draining someone dry, but when I think of super strength, I think about werewolves being super strong and all," she tilted her head at me.

"Then, definitely super strength," I nodded my head at her while she grabbed the paper towel rolls and threw them in our food filled cart.

"I agree," she nodded, pushing the squeaky cart down the aisle.

"Yeah, and we all know how you love Jared's super strength," I laughed as I walked slowly behind her.

She stopped the cart with her, "How do you know that?"

I grinned, "Jared can't keep his thoughts off of you."

I heard her heart rate increase and listened as her blood pumped through her faster, "Dammit Jared," she hissed under her breath.

"Oh, and I also know you love his enhanced speed when-"

Quicker than I realized it, her tiny hand was covering up my mouth, her short height making her stand on her tippy toes to reach my mouth. Her brown eyes were wide and frantic as she looked at me, but her frowning face soon turned into her devious little smirk.

"Yeah, well I know all about your thoughts about Alexia," she took her hand off of me and walked back over to the cart.

Shit, of course Jared would tell Kim everything. That little bustard… Then again, she could be bluffing.

"What do you know then?"

She stopped the cart again and grinned at me over her shoulder, "Oh, like how you want her lips to kiss you and nip you all over your jaw."

I narrowed my eyes at her, though those aren't even close to the other terrible thought that I have thought of. I guess she figured that out to.

"Also, that you want to have her long legs wrapped around your neck-"

She spit out fast, anticipating what I was going to do. Faster than she could, I cover my hand over her mouth, practically covering her face.

"If you don't want me telling your parents what I've heard coming from your bedroom, you will be quiet and not speak about this to anyone again. Got it," I asked her, watching her eyes go wide and she nodded her head?

I took my hand away and we walked down the aisles together in silence.

"I would like to say that you also have really nice thoughts, Paul," Kim said as we loaded the groceries into the trunk of Jared's car.

I sighed, "I know I'm not a total pervert, Kim."

She smiled at me and closed the trunk. She played with the keys in her hand and frowned down at them and for the years that I've known Kim, I could tell she had something to say.

"What is it," I asked, leaning against the back of the car?

"I think Alexia has some serious problems, Paul."

I laughed a little, "What's that supposed to mean exactly, Kim."

"Well," she sighed looking up, but looking past me, "When we went to the corn maze with her, I saw scars on her wrist."

I frowned, I still didn't get what she was trying to say?

She breathed out loudly, "I think she cuts herself, Paul."

Cuts herself? Why would she do that? Wouldn't she tell me that? Why wouldn't she tell me that?

"Calm down," she sighed, touching my shaking arm briefly, "It looked like it was old, but from studying psychology, I learned that people who do that have some really terrible problems in their lives and that most of the time these people have suicidal thoughts."

"What," I growled at her, squeezing her shoulders?

"Paul, calm down. They looked old, but I saw them in the dark when her sleeve road up, but I just wanted to let you know, Paul. She seems like she's really in pain, but it looked like she was happy when she looked at you. The pain in her eyes seemed to vanish," she said, lightly taking my hands off of her shoulders.

They fell back limply at my side. Why would she hurt herself? Why would she even think about killing herself? Does she still harm herself? Does she still have these suicidal thoughts?

"What should I do," my voiced quivered as I looked at Kim.

The thoughts of a world without Alexia pounded me at me like a hammer in my head. The words stung me and cut me.

"Let her tell you, don't ask her about it. I think she just needs someone to care about her, Paul. Someone that will love her unconditionally."

"I already do," I murmured.

It's true. Ever since that I set eyes on her, I loved her. At first glance, I thought she was a preppy snob. I can't stand them, but behind her perfect façade, she's broken.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I stared at the computer with an empty stare. How do I talk to her when it feels so wrong, keeping things from here? I can't type happy things when I know she's in pain, yet she talks to me like nothing is wrong.

_What did you do today?_

I thought about it for a second.

_Went shopping with Kim. What did you do today?_

I stretched my arms behind my head, the rickety old wooden chair really uncomfortable for me to sit in. The old white computer whirled; trying it's hardest to let me stay on the internet.

_School._

I smiled. That's all about she does, school and homework. I have no idea why her grades aren't good enough for even her bitchy mother.

_Sounds super fun._

I cracked my knuckles and listened a little harder listening to Kim's pen flying across the paper.

_Yeah, you're lucky your out of school._

True. One of the advantages of being a wolf. When a transformed we had more wars going on, so I just dropped out. Now, the younger wolves have less to worry about unless it's their geometry homework.

_The advantages of being twenty…_

I looked older than twenty actually, maybe mid-twenties, but that _is _my actual age. I feel like a disgusting pedophile when I think about it too much. I'm dating a teenager… I'm not a teenager.

_Very funny! I'm still seventeen over here._

I sighed. I know. If it was my way, I would have her moved in with me already and away from her crazy, psycho family, but she's underage and that's against the law. Unless, she had parental consent, but that's when hell freezes over.

_Trust me, I know…_

I couldn't even do anything _physical _with her without it being against the law. She's technically still a minor and if somebody found out, you would see me, Paul Lahote, on the sex offender list. Just my luck…

_I should go. I felt sick this morning and missed the first three periods… Mom was pretty pissed._

Great, now she's sick. Is she sick because of her Mom? Hopefully she's not sick because of her Mom.

_Okay, I'll talk to you later._

I backspaced after I wrote I love you.

_Bye _

I smiled and watched the online signal turn into an offline signal. I pushed away from the desk and leaned my head back on my arms crossed behind me.

"Did your little girlfriend have to go," Jared asked as he walked from into the kitchen, with a bowl of cereal, and into his bedroom?

"She's not my girlfriend," I sighed getting up, "yet."

He smiled and closed the door behind him. I could hear the soft murmurs of him talking to Kim, but Kim complained because she was studying.

Their relationship is so easy. Jared imprinted on her and she was just a nerdy girl, an invisible girl that had a giant secret crush. All Jared had to do was ask her out and she was putty, but it soon turned out the Kim was secretly a dominatrix and he was putty.

I imprinted on a girl with more problems than me and that's saying a lot. Out of most of the wolves, except for Jake and maybe Embry, I have the worst problems. Yeah, Embry doesn't have a Dad and to this day, we're still not sure who cheated on whom, but he accepted that, me, not so much. That's why I became the hot headed asshole that I am to this day. Jake imprinted on a half leech and I would rather claw my eyes out than that. Plus, the whole love triangle he was in with his imprint's mom. Yuck! Now that dude has too many problems.

I sauntered into the kitchen and rummaged through the cabinets. I walked into the living room, bag of chips at hand, and turned on the television.

Why must my life be so complicated? I asked myself as I munched down on some chips.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I showed up at the rich snobby house that apparently belongs to the boss of Alexia's mom. She got invited to the daughters Halloween party and I complied to go when she offered me to go with her. Her mom made her go after she found the invitation crumpled up in the garbage.

I didn't really want to go, but it helps Alexia, so of course I would go. Jared and Kim had to tag along as usual. They were seriously getting on my nerves on the drive there. Jared would not stop drooling over Kim's slutty little school girl outfit, short skirt, glasses, and all. Disgusting, she's like my sister…

"Jared would you watch the road," I asked, as he kept glancing at Kim, swerving off the road.

He absolutely denied letting me drive because it's his car, but I was going to shove him in the back and take the wheel. I rather not go off the road and crash.

"Whatever, its Kim's fault," he growled, snapping his head back to the road.

Kim smirked proudly. They recently had a fight about if Jared could go a week without Kim and he said that it would be Kim begging to him. She was enjoying slowly torturing him. I placed a bet with Collin that Jared would be done for by the end of the night, I know I would be if Alexia was wearing that.

"Aw, is little Jerry upset," Kim jutted her lip out towards him?

"Yes," he snapped, "little Jerry is very upset!"

I snickered in the back as Kim bit her lip trying not to laugh at how serious he was.

We made it to the gargantuan house without getting into a wreck, thankfully. Cars were parked everywhere surrounding the house, kids coming in and out of the house. Some were jumping into the pond and acting like drunks.

I felt a little uncomfortable in the clothes that Kim put me in. It's not really anything compared to the ketchup bottle that walked into the house, mustard right at his side. She gave me a grey button up and I wore my black pants and shoes. She stuck wolf ears on my head and declared me a wolf for the night, how cliché. She did the same with Jared only gave him a brown shirt to match his wolf.

I scooted over closer to the car as a shiny car that looked familiar pulled up next to me. My heart dropped and suddenly leaped up into my throat making my breathing hitch.

Alexia got out of the car, her long legs covered in black tights; I want to rip them off. Her dress was a little shorter than what would be acceptable out in public and her black high heels boosted her height up, making her all the more sexy. Her dark brown hair was pinned back, but some curls fell beautifully around her feminine face. She resembled a woman in the 1940's.

"Hi," her small voice said as she walked up to me.

Her small hands closed around my back and it took me a second to get my brain running back up. I closed my arms around her, picking her up off the ground and kissing her on her bright red lips.

She's so soft under my hands and cool compared to my temperature. Her lips molded perfectly against mine in such a way that it made my heart beat go erratic and an uncomfortable feeling sit tight in my stomach. It felt so good though, kissing her that much more hard. Her lips parted and I traced her lips with my tongue, her scent swirled around in my head.

I set her down after many clearing of throats.

"Hi," I muttered, my eyes raking up her body again.

Her face flushed, "Thanks for coming."

I shrugged like it wasn't like a big deal, which it isn't.

Her friend, Sadie, stood there uncomfortably, "Ready?"

I nodded with Alexia and grabbed her hand. We walked up to the house hand and hand. The doors opened and blasting music flowed out of the house.

"Come on, Kim," Jared said, leading her through the people, glaring at every guy watching Kim walk by.

Great, I was going have to fight off some assholes tonight.

"Well, I'm going to go get a drink," Sadie awkwardly told Alexia and walked in the same direction as Jared and Kim.

"So," Alexia asked timidly.

I wasn't going to have that, "Come on."

I gripped her hand tighter and people automatically made room for me to walk, Alexia following behind me.

I grabbed her closer to me as we got into a mob of dancing people, drunken people, and high people.

We smiled at each other and together we started dancing.

A couple of times, I had to scare people away from Alexia to keep her from dancing with someone else, but for the most part, people were too afraid to even come near me to try anything. I couldn't blame the people though, Alexia is really sexy and especially in her Halloween costume. We wouldn't talk, but just laugh and grin at each other, just happy to be with each other.

"So you were sick," I asked as we drunk our drinks that I made sure weren't spiked?

She nodded, "Yeah, it was weird. It was in the morning and after that I was completely fine. It happened a couple of days in a row, but it's gone now, probably just a bug."

She smiled at me and I just hopped she was right.

"Alexia?'

We both turned to see a guy pushing past a couple of people.

"Crap," I heard Alexia murmur under her breath before she smiled, "Hey, Logan."

"Hey, Alexia. I haven't seen you at school and I've been meaning to talk to you," he said with a hopeful smirk and glanced up at me like I was a problem.

How I wished to smack that little smirk off…

"Really, about what," she asked, taking a sip of her drink?

"Um," his blue eyes flickered towards mine, "about things."

Alexia didn't look too good. She looked like she's about to be sick. Whatever this Logan had to say, Alexia didn't want to hear.

"Can this wait," I asked, but it sounded more like an order.

He frowned, "No, I wanted to talk to Alexia and it's none of your business. So, you can just back off."

I have to admit, the kid has some balls, but I was still not having someone upset Alexia if I could stop it. In this case, it would be very easy to stop.

"Don't you see she doesn't want to listen," I growled, glancing over at Alexia. She looked a little less sick, but she still looked like she definitely didn't want to talk about it.

He looked at Alexia, "I'll talk to you later then?"

She looked at him for a second, but she gulped and her eyes fell onto the floor, "Sure, Logan."

He left with a last glance, pushing his way a little less easily as I would have.

"Sorry about that," she mumbled, taking another drink.

I shook my head, "Don't be."

I smiled at her and she smiled back. I set down both of our cups and pulled her back through the crowd, passing the jumping crowd as they passed a vase back and forth through the crowd. I lead her outside and to the other side of the pond where there weren't kids skinny dipping and squealing. I pulled her down in my lap after I sat down, learning that the grass was damp from the rain.

"What was with that," I questioned, brushing a curl out of the way of her face?

She sighed, "Nothing."

She didn't want to talk about it and I wasn't going to make her talk about it either, but that doesn't mean it doesn't bother me. Something was up and it really bugged Alexia back there. This Logan doesn't seem like the typical jerk that would bug some girl either. He seems like he really cares about Alexia. I had to get to the bottom of it, but not tonight.

"You look really beautiful," I murmured.

"Thanks," she mumbled into my shirt, "You look really nice too."

I raised an eyebrow, "Just nice?"

I felt her heart rate increase, but I felt her body shake as she laughed. She shrugged her shoulders.

I leaned down closer to her ear, "Well, for the record, I think you look incredibly sexy," I whispered.

I felt her shiver and glance up at me, her eyes just like how I always imagined they would be when she was aroused, bright with passion.

I smirked, I did that to her. I could do that to somebody this beautiful, just by my words. I wonder what I could do with my hands…

I shook my head, not tonight.

I leaned down and gave her a chaste kiss on her lips, leaving her lips in a pout. Trust me, I didn't do that to leave her hanging, I did that for me. Anything more than that, I would have my way with her on this very spot.

She turned her head away from me, glancing over the other side of the pond. Silhouettes splashed in the water under the light of the moonlight.

I wanted to know all of Alexia's problems and take them away. I wanted her to be happy and nothing less. I want her to live carefree and know she doesn't have to be what her mother says is perfect. She already is perfect and nothing can change that. Not the scars that shined from under her hiked up dress that proved that she harmed herself or the fact that she may or may not have thought of suicide. To me, those things make her all the more beautiful.

I leaned down, smothering my face in her hair and made a notice that her scent was different.

I'm going to get to the bottom of all of these things, but not tonight.

* * *

**What did you think? Review and tell me your thoughts or questions? Please? You can even make a suggestion if you want... Anyway, thank you for anyone who reads this! Thank you so much! Thank you even more to the people who review! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Also, pictures on my profile! Go check them out if you want! Review? Tell me what you think?**

**-GuardianAssassin**


	7. Love

**I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

I stared back at myself in the mirror, turning my head to the side, confusion written all over my face. Is it me or are my breast getting larger by the second. My usual small A- cup bra size is fitting way too snug. My cleavage practically makes the seams of the small pink bra burst.

I haven't been feeling myself lately either and it was starting to worry me. It frightened me to no ends and I have an idea what it is, but I'm too scared to admit it, I'm too scared to even think about it.

I shoved the bottom of my shirt back down from where I pulled it up to look at my larger than normal stomach.

"Alexia, are you ready to go," Nathan's voice was muffled through the walls!

"Yeah, coming," I called back before I went back into my room, grabbing my backpack and headed out of my door!

"We have to pick up Arianna," Nathan muttered to me as we clumped our way down the steps.

"Great," I sighed.

"So, then I told Lauren that I was definitely not friends with Ashley, but then she went and told Ashley that. Now, Ashley is totally pissed at me because-"

"Do you ever shut up," I breathed from the back seat.

The car went completely silent. I never talked that way to anyone, in my head, yes, but out loud, never.

"Excuse me," she asked, turning around in her seat?

I shook my head, "Sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that."

"Oh, yes you did," She yelled, her blonde curls bouncing around her furious red face.

"Sorry, sorry," I mumbled, pressing my forehead against the cool glass of the car window.

Nathan looked stunned in the front seat as he spun the steering wheel, trying to find a parking spot in the crowded parking lot.

"Let me out," Arianna sighed in the front seat.

"What," Nathan asked, looking outside at the rain? Arianna would never want to risk wrecking her hair, plus she wouldn't want the pounds of make-up she plasters on her face would get washed away.

"Let me out of this car, Nathan," she screeched!

The car screeched to a halt with her ear piercing scream and she climbed out, making sure to slam the door behind her for a very dramatic exit.

"Nice going, Alexia," Nathan said.

"Well, making the queen bitch should get a taste of her own medicine," I mumbled.

"She's going to be pissed," he turned the car off once we parked.

Arianna was, like Nathan said, pissed. I got glares at her all day and from her posse. She was extremely mad on the way home and made everything awkward even though I apologized a dozen times. On the bright side, Paul loved that I finally told somebody off.

_She got what she deserves._

I shook my head, reading his latest message and clicked back to Word to continue my essay.

I wish my life was easier. Everything has to be so complicated! Nathan hates Arianna practically as much as I hate her, but he's in his room on the phone with her groveling. I just don't get why he would date someone as nasty as her even for Mom's sake. She is a total bitch, both of them.

I picked up my phone as it started vibrating next to my hand, the face of Sadie rapidly blinking on the screen.

"Hello," I sighed in a casual tone, and used my other hand to click on different websites to get information on some sort of war.

"Alexia! You would not believe who is calling me," she screeched into my ear?

"Danny," I tried to guess?

"No! Logan Blume!"

My heart thudded against my chest, my breathing became shallow. He's wanted to talk to me, but I try my hardest to avoid him at school. I got drunk and I practically lunged at him at his own party. I feel like such a slut and I don't want Logan to go spreading that around, that I had sex with him without having any feelings for him.

"How did he get your number," I asked?

"I don't know, but he wanted me to give him your phone number-"

"Don't," I shouted, panicking struck my body hard!

"I didn't don't worry," she soothed me; "You know he's not going to go around and tell people you're a whore?"

"How do you know that," I questioned, turning my chair and myself around?

"I don't know, he doesn't seem like a bad guy. He hasn't told anybody what happened between you two and you know most guys would be bragging around school that they got your V-card."

I shook my head and laughed at her choice of words, she is very immature… "It's not like I'm anything special."

"Of course you are!"

"Thanks, but we both know that it isn't true," I smiled, picking the old nail polish off of my fingers.

She grumbled a couple of words that I couldn't here over the phone, "Well, I should go," she sighed.

"Alright, talk to you later."

"Bye."

I clicked my phone off and spun back around to face my computer screen.

I woke up, nine weeks from Logan's back to school party, having an anxiety attack.

It was all over for me. I could feel it; I know something is wrong with me, _different_. My heart pounds in my chest, feeling like elephants stomping on me.

I got up and ready way early than necessary, called up Sadie and let her know that I was coming early, and headed out the door, letting Nathan know that he would have to get a ride because Sadie and I were going to get breakfast before school.

"What? What is it," Sadie asked as she climbed in, throwing her backpack in the back with mine.

I thought about what I should say to her. Should I just let all of my thoughts come out or should I just let her have it?

I took a deep unsteady breath, "I think I'm pregnant."

I chose not to beat around the bush. The only sound in the car was the radio in the background and the slight purr of the engine of the car.

"Is this some kind of joke," she choked out?

I took a moment to take my eyes of the road to see her expression. Her brown eyes looked tired, but they were wide with shock and a mixture of many other emotions that I couldn't seem to decipher.

"No, I need you to help get me a pregnancy test," I mumbled, the steering wheel glided under my hands as I turned out of the suburb.

"How can that be possible? You only did it once," I could feel her questioning stare burn into the side of my head?

"Unprotected," I muttered, my foot urging me to get to my answers faster.

I heard her shuffle in her seat and the almost inaudible sound of her biting on her nails.

"I guess it happened on 16 and Pregnant," she said around her nails.

I could almost laugh at her trying to connect me to a television show she watches, almost. At least I'm not sixteen, I'm seventeen. I've been seventeen since October 14th, strangely enough, the same birthday as Nathan. He was on years old when I was born. Technically, I did get pregnant at sixteen…

"What if you are," she whispered?

"I guess then I'm pregnant," I stated matter of fact, glancing at her.

"I'm pregnant," I whispered to myself, sliding down the stained white tiles in the pharmacy bathroom.

What in the hell was I going to do? I'm not aborting the baby, it's not the baby's fault that I was an idiot and got drunk. It's not the baby's fault that I felt the need to please my mother in ways that would obviously not please her. Now, she was going to throw me out on the streets. She's going to kill me.

"You got a message from Paul," Sadie mumbled at my side in a weary tone, afraid that I was going to snap any moment.

God, what will Paul think? The only person in the whole world that actually care's. The one person that looks at me like I'm perfect, even when, clearly, I'm not. He's going to think that I'm a slut, a whore. How could I do this? I'm ruining everything. I'm disgusting and a person as good as Paul doesn't deserve to get pulled down with me. I'm going to ruin his life; I already did ruin his life. I come into his life and destroy it! I'm disgusting and worthless… Paul shouldn't hang around someone like me, but yet, I had selfish thoughts. All I want is his strong arms wrapped around me. Encircle me in all of his warmth and protect me, protect me from myself…

I crunched up my legs to my chest, my eyes burning as I forced the tears back down. My throat closed up painfully as I fought against the wave of emotions hitting me like a tsunami.

Sadie's small arms wrapped around me and pulled me against her chest. She felt like a mother, a mother I wished I had.

My jaw clenched, my head feeling like it was ready to split.

I wished it was Paul's arms wrapped around me. I wished I could have his study body to clench to, to take away everything. He can take me away from the pain. He can take away all of my thoughts of numbing the pain that throbbed in my heart. He could make me feel alive and not so dead.

"Just cry, Alexia," Sadie's words seemed to get into my ears that held nothing, but my heartbeat, "Just cry."

I did.

Tears fell from my face in a continuous stream, a river. My whole body shook and convulsed as sobs racked inside of me. My head boiled and the tears dried my hair and Sadie's against my face. My ears burned and they rung.

"Here," my voice croaked out as I reached my hands out towards my phone.

Sadie settled my phone in my hand and I wiped away my tears with the sleeve of my sweatshirt. I sniffled as I went into the application with the social network I talk to Paul through.

_Good Moring Sexy Alexy! ;)_

I wiped away my tears again breathed out a laugh. Just one message and he can make me smile right after having a complete meltdown.

"What? What did he say," Sadie asked, leaning over to look at my phone?

"Nothing," I mumbled, typing a quick morning back before standing back up.

I stumbled a bit when I got back on my feet, but Sadie was there to steady me as she grabbed onto my elbows.

I looked at the pregnancy test balanced on top of the box that sat on the back of the toilet in the handicapped stall.

"You should take it," Sadie said, glancing at it with me.

I could still see the bright red plus sign from across the stall.

I walked over to it, stuffing it into the box and putting it into my purse.

There is nothing I can do. I can't turn back time and I can't make this baby disappear. I want to take care of the baby and raise it as my own. I can't see giving it over to another family to take care of. Its part me which brings me back to another thing. What was I going to tell Logan? Should I even tell Logan?

The first few classes went by slowly as the teacher droned on and on. I fidgeted throughout classes, never able to sit still. I was continuously anxious and it would not go away. Was I going to be anxious for the rest of my life? Was I going to worry non-stop?

The bell went off and I sighed getting up out of my chair, happy to just move and keep my mind occupied with keeping track of keeping track of putting one foot after another.

"Alexia," Arianna growled as she passed me in the hall.

I gave her a rude smirk and she sped off down the opposite end of the hall.

"She's still mad," Sadie asked as she came to walk by my side?

I nodded, "Yep, and now she has Nathan pissed at me also."

"What a bitch," she said.

"Yep."

"Are you going to tell Logan," she asked?

I did think about that. I would want to know. He won't want to be a part of it, but I think he should know, it's part him too and I want to give him a chance to be a part of its life. I'm just still unsure about when to tell my mom and dad?

"Yeah," I sighed, clutching my textbook closer to my chest as we walked towards the cafeteria.

"What do you think he's going to say," she asked, shocked?

"I don't know we will have to find out," I said, glancing out over the crowd of students and seeing him across the cafeteria with his friends at a table.

"Meet you afterwards," I muttered, walking towards him, which I could only guess looked like someone looks like someone is on a mission.

"Logan, can I talk to you," I mumbled, feeling everyone sitting with him turn their eyes on me?

"Ooh, what did you do now," a guy sitting next to him bumped his shoulder?

"What do you want, Alexia," a girl sitting across from him snarled?

"Shut up guys. Sure," he said, getting up.

I lead him to one of the halls off of the cafeteria, which were pretty empty, except for a couple of people walking across the halls.

"What is it," he asked, as I moved against the wall, to get out of the way and have something to keep me standing up right.

"I'm pregnant," I sighed, I was going to get it over with.

His blue eyes sparked up and widened at me, "Shit, are you serious?"

I nodded my head up and down, my head brushing up against the white walls.

"So… whose is it?"

I couldn't believe he was insinuating that it could be somebody else's! First of all, I am not a slut. Second of all, why would I be telling him if it wasn't his?

"It's yours Logan," I said, my voice thick with acid from the accusation he made.

"Shit," he growled, his fist pounded against the wall next to my head.

I jumped, but I sighed closing my eyes. Did he really think he had it bad? I was the one that was going to have the evidence sewn to my body. He could walk away from this and have nothing to do with it. Even if I did tell people that it was his, he could deny and guess who they would believe?

"You don't have to be a part of it, but I thought you should know," I opened my eyes to see his eyes wider with more shock.

"Are you kidding me," he whispered, "It's not all your fault, Alexia. It takes two."

Was he serious? He wanted to be a teenage dad? He would choose to be ridiculed and have everyone turn his backs on him. His parents are worse than mine, they will kill him. He would really have it that way when his life will be destroyed.

"You can't do that," I shook my head.

"Yes, I can," he nodded, "I'm choosing right now."

"You don't want me to have a-a abortion," I asked, astounded?

"God, no," Logan sighed, his breath coming out over my face as it seemed to get closer and closer to mine.

My heart pounded in my chest. Nausea filling my stomach, burning. This was all so wrong. His dark blue eyes stared right back at me, uncomfortable emotions rocked through my body.

It didn't feel right to be this close to him. I'm with Paul.

"Stop," I sighed, placing a hand on his chest, lightly pushing him away from me, I could breathe again.

"What? Why," his confusion was written all over his face, but then his face showed acknowledgement, "You're with someone else."

I nodded.

"So, what? We're going to have a kid together and you're not even going to give me a chance," he's angry now.

"I'm sorry Logan," I sighed, slipping out and moving away from the wall.

"You're not going to even give me a chance," he laughed a breathy laugh.

"I don't have feelings for you," I said, heading back to the cafeteria, hoping I could get away from him.

"Even if I have feelings for you, you won't give me a chance, Alexia," he sighed.

I stopped in my tracks and looked back at him, "I'm sorry, Logan," I murmured and continued walking again.

"Then I don't want a part of this," he shouted!

So, that's what he thought? He thought because I'm pregnant I would want a relationship with him?

I looked back at him one more time, "Fine, Logan. I'll see you around."

I walked back to the cafeteria, but when I got there, I turned right back around, running to the bathroom. Tears stung at my eyes, my throat constricted.

I wailed in the girls' bathroom. I hate this! I'm always messing everything up! I can't just be a normal seventeen year old girl! I have to ruin everything; I have to make everyone un-happy around me! Nobody should want to have to do anything with me! I don't deserve anyone to love me! I want someone to love me…

There is someone that makes me happy. That makes me feel worth something. That makes me feel happy. That makes me feel alive. That makes me feel whole. That makes me feel perfect. He makes me feel everything that I'm not. He doesn't make me have to harm myself to feel like an actual person. His presence makes me feel like I deserve to be loved.

Paul, he makes me feel like a normal person. He calms me and soothes all of my worries and fears. I want him. I need him.

I stood up, shaking and ran right out of the bathroom and into the cafeteria. People shouted at me and a few called my name, but I didn't look back. I ran out into the parking lot, jumped in my car, and floored it out of the parking lot and onto the freeway.

I took the three and a half hour trip to La Push. Rain pelted on my car and tears followed in a constant stream down my face. I couldn't stop the tears and the purse that hung across my shoulder held the pregnancy test, it screamed at me, telling me everything that I do is wrong. Strangely enough, it resembled my mother's voice.

I passed small little house along the way and all the way into La Push. The stormy grey skies and rain matched me exactly.

I saw a tall form outside of a small house that matched all of the other houses and slammed on my brakes.

It was definitely him. I could feel it. I felt a pull, like a string attached to him was pulling me towards him. It hurt, but it felt relieved to see him.

I pulled into the gravel driveway and pulled to door open as fast as I could.

"Alexia?"

His voice made my heart stutter, but it felt so good to be close to him, I couldn't be close enough. I ran towards him he called my name, but I didn't answer. I jumped into his arms, his over-heated arms wrapping around me instantaneously.

"What's wrong," he asked, worried?

I shook my head, tears pouring down my face and onto his bare shoulder.

"You have to tell me or I can't help you, Alexia," He muttered, rubbing my back.

"I'm pregnant," I sobbed into his shoulder.

I guess he heard what I was saying because his whole form went stiff and motionless. It felt like I was gripping onto a statue.

"H-how Alexia?"

"Party," I mumbled again, holding him even closer to me.

"You drove all this way," he laughed, but it shook.

I looked up at him; his grey eyes bore into mine, feeling just so right, "I need you," I whispered.

His eyes stayed glued onto mine and he looked stunned.

I did the first thing that came to mine, and gripped onto him, smashing my lips against him. I kissed him hard and poured everything I felt into it. Tears still dripped from my eyes and stained Paul's cheeks.

"No, Alexia," he sighed, pulling me away from him, but not using all of his strength.

"Please, please," I sobbed.

"No, you don't know what you're doing," he sighed, pulling me in to hug me to his chest.

"Please, Paul," I whined, "I love you. I love you, Paul."

He looked at me, his grey eyes sparked up like a firework, sparking with passion.

I took advantage and lunged at him, kissing him fiercer than before, if possible. It felt different, he was holding back before, but now it felt like he was feeling it. I could feel his emotions, almost as mixed up as my own.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and I could barely feel the change of air as he walked us into the house. I didn't see anything, but a white door before he laid me down on a bed. Falling back down on me, a half of a second later after he laid me down.

He slowly pulled my clothes off.

I could feel him everywhere, it was what I needed. I could feel his love and his words reassured me all the more. I felt close to him and soon we were at the point where we were as close as two people could get.

I felt loved. I felt like I could deal with anything if Paul was at my side. He made me feel perfect emotionally and physically. I felt like I deserved to have him love me. I felt happy, ecstatic, and alive! I could feel like I could breathe around him. I felt loved. I love Paul.

* * *

**What did you think? Do you hate me now? Last time I didn't get as many reviews as I have been getting? What's wrong? Am I getting worse? Tell me? I have had a lot going on lately so if stuff gets a little off that's why. I'm trying to get back. So... do you hate me now? What are your thoughts? Please tell me?**

**-AlwaysConfusedArtist**

**P.S. I changed my name for security reason.**


	8. Brave

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

I woke up, the night falling down upon the small room. A light snoring filled my ear and thin sheet of sweat covered my naked body.

I was confused when my eyes fluttered open, but everything came back to me as soon as I looked over and saw the sleeping form I was curled up around.

His russet face looked so innocent. His chest rose and fell under my balled up fists and his arms wrapped around my back, holding me in a firm grip to him. I tried to pry myself away from him, but he only gripped at me harder.

I pulled my hands away from him, about the only thing that I could move.

His chiseled body astounded me, everything so defined. I lightly traced my fingertips down his chest and watched as he physically shivered and pulled me closer. He didn't wake up, but I pulled my fingers back into my original fist and pondered how exactly was I going to get out of his grasp.

I have no clue what time it is, my parents are most likely freaking out, Sadie's probably freaking out since I didn't go back to class, and I really have to get back. By the dark sky outside, I could only guess it could be around seven. I had to get back.

I pushed away from Paul with more force than before and finally freed myself, successfully not waking him up.

After I slipped on my clothes and shoes, I headed towards the bedroom door, wincing as it creaked open. I closed it as lightly as possible behind me and tiptoed into the living room.

"So, you're going to be one of those sluts that run off right after they get what they want," a quiet voice asked coming from the kitchen?

My face heated up in embarrassment, "Excuse me?"

I walked into the kitchen to see Kim buried under piles of books that sat all around her as she sat at a dining room table in the middle of the small kitchen.

"I mean, Paul would be used to it with all the sluts he's been with, but I think you're different," she muttered, never looking up from the textbook. She took a bite of cereal that sat next to her.

"Well, I have to get home," I mumbled.

She looked up at me, her dark brown eyes seemed to burn right down to my soul, like she knew everything, "Why would you care, your mom's a bitch?"

I shrugged, "It's not like I try to get in trouble with her."

She looked back down at the large book and took another bite, "Choose Paul over your mother though. Paul's worth it."

"Like you know it's so easy to turn your back on your parents. It's not easy when there the one's that took care of you for seventeen years," I couldn't believe I was actually standing up for my parents when all they have done is hurt me.

"Actually," she said, taking another bite, "I had to do the exact same thing with Jared. My Parents hated them with every part of there being, but I figured out Jared was worth all of the tears. He loved me."

"I'm sorry," I sighed, looking down at the white tiles.

"Don't worry about it," she smiled at me, crunching, "my mom was a bitch."

I smiled, "Same here."

"Don't corrupt her, Kim," a sleepy voice mumbled.

I jumped and turned around. Paul stood in the middle of the doorway, arms crossed, leaning against the doorway in nothing, but his boxer shorts.

"Sorry, Polly," Kim laughed, "She's already corrupt."

He laughed and he came up behind me, wrapping his arms around the lower part of my stomach, reminding me of the growing baby inside me.

"What are you doing in here," he whispered into my ear, sending shivers down my spine?

"I-I have to go home," I muttered.

"No you don't."

"Yes, I do," I said, twisting in his arms, giving him a quick kiss and pulling away, "I'm already in a super amount of trouble, I don't need anything else hanging over my head as it is."

"I'm sorry, Alexia," he murmured, his stormy grey eyes truly sincere.

I smiled up at him, "It's not your fault, and it's mine."

I walked passed him, sensing his presence behind me and just also knowing he would follow me.

"Bye Alexia," Kim called.

"Bye Kim," I called back before walking out into the biting cold.

I shivered once before Paul stepped a foot closer to me and instantaneously warmed me. I walked to my car, but Paul had me pinned before I could open the door.

"I love you," he murmured, kissing me on my nose.

I smirked, "I love you too."

I watched his facial expressions for a moment and saw as he was thinking about something, his brows furrowed and he bit on his lip.

"Whose baby is it," he asked, his grey eyes seeming to hold a possession of something that makes me want to tell him everything, but I had a feeling if I told him right now without explanation, someone would be dead.

"I'll talk to you later."

"Alexia," he frowned at me, "tell me."

I smiled sadly at him and slipped under his arms that laid by the side of my head on my car. I slipped in, starting up the car and rolling down the window.

"It can't be that bad," Paul questioned, worry dripping in his voice?

I smiled again to reassure him, "I love you."

He sighed, "I love you too."

We shared a quick kiss before I backed out of the driveway. I waved and drove off down the road.

I could do this. With Paul, I could do anything.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

On the drive back home, I felt oddly relaxed. It scared me almost. I was too calm and I felt like I should react more to the situation I'm in, but I didn't, I stayed relaxed.

I pulled into the garage and calmly walked into the house.

The kitchen matched my mood.

Mom sat at the dining room table, coffee cup held between her hands. Dad sat next to her, his phone in hand.

Upon closing the door, they both looked up at me.

"Where the _hell_ were you, Alexia," my hissed, shaking her head at me in disgrace?

"With Paul if you have to know," I muttered, leaning my back against the doorknob.

"Paul who," Dad asked, looking up from his glowing phone?

"Paul Lahote, the boy you wouldn't let me talk to."

"The guy from La Push? Jeremy said they weren't good to be around," Dad mumbled, looking to mom and back to me.

"The exact one," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Don't talk to us like that young lady," Mom pursed her bright red lips and pushed away from the table.

"You know what? I will," I snarled.

Mom raised an eyebrow at me, knowing that I was testing her.

Is bravery part of pregnancy?

"Give me you cell phone," she snapped, pushing her hand out towards me.

I smirked and handed her my cell phone.

"Go to your room," she snarled, "You are such a disappointment. You miss important classes and go run off with some guy. Would Nathan ever do that? No, he wouldn't. Why do you have to be like this, Alexia?"

I smiled at her beautiful face, her hair pulled away from her face in a perfectly tight bun, "Well, I'm sorry that I'm not perfect like you, Mom."

She smoothed her hair like she knew I was looking, "I'm sorry too."

I gave her one last smile and walked passed her. I paused before I went under the archway into the living room, "By the way, I'm pregnant," I heard her gasp and my dad's hands stop clicking against the screen of his phone, "With Logan Blume's baby."

I ran upstairs, slamming my bedroom door behind me and sliding down it. I breathed in a deep breath.

_What did I just do?_

I rubbed my face with my hands, thinking that I was a crazy person. Did pregnancy do this to everyone? Is that why they can be so mean sometimes, because they feel like they can battle off the world, the universe? I don't know, but I feel like I could take on an alien invasion if I had to by myself.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

I smoothed down the coral colored dress and glared at the bump forming on my lower abdomen. It isn't obvious, but it feels uncomfortable and_ I_ know it's there.

"Let's go, Alexia! Everyone is waiting on you," Mom called.

I grimaced and wrapped a bright purple scarf around my neck. We're going to my grandparents, Mom's side, in Issaquah. Snobby rich folk, just like my mother, but they're worse if you ask me. I wonder how she lived with them when all she wants it to be done her way or it's not right. I guess, she lived with it and decided to take it out on her own kids…

"I'm coming," I mumbled, almost tripping going down the steps.

They all stood by the door waiting for me, Mom's bright red lips pursed at me in distaste as usual.

"Let's go," she said, motioning her hand towards the door to the garage.

I rolled my eyes and walked out into the garage, just hoping that I wouldn't kill myself for this little Thanksgiving visit.

"Hi, Mom," Mom sighed, kissing Grandma Moore on both of her cheeks.

"Hello, Scarlett. Come on in," she opened up the door winder, letting us inside.

I slipped off my shoes and glanced around the house. The small condo was as I suspected, too clean. I felt like I couldn't touch anything. The clean creamy colored carpet looks freshly vacuumed with lines still on the carpet. Knick-knacks filled the tiny living room from all of the trips they take. They don't stay here much, always vacationing in one place or another.

"Nathan, you have gotten so tall," Grandma Moore said, hugging and kissing on his cheeks.

"How are you, Luke," She asked turning to dad?

"Great, Mrs. Moore," he said, taking off his jacket and placing it in the closet next to the door.

She swished her hand in the air and laughed, "Call me Lisa. You've know me for twenty years now."

She turned to me, her smile faltered, "Hello, Alexia."

"Hi, Grandma," I smiled, Mom told her everything.

She gave me one last smile, before leading us into the dining room.

My Aunt Annie, Mom's sister, sat with her husband and her two older kids in college, both party animals.

"Scarlett," Aunt Annie exclaimed, sliding out of her seat to hug Mom.

"Annabeth," Mom smiled at her older sister, hugging her back.

"I haven't seen you in ages," she said sitting back down in her chair, while we all took seats on the other side of the table. "How are you guys doing?"

"Good," Nathan said from beside me, I stared down at the table, letting my finger swirl around the grain of the wood.

"How are you two," Dad asked, Ethan and Amelia?

"Pretty good," Amelia mumbled, looking down at her phone, her fingers going at mock speed across the keys.

Ethan turned to me, a smirk across his face, "I heard you got knocked up."

"Ethan," Aunt Annie shouted!

"What," he raised his shoulders, "It's true."

"Really," Amelia asked leaning forward, "and you're going to keep it?"

I nodded my head.

"Well, were going to talk about that," I heard Mom mumble down the table.

I laughed. What say does she have? It's my kid…

"Drunk night? That vodka is what gets me," Amelia giggled.

"Amelia Jane!"

"Now, let's settle down and have a nice meal, please," Grandma chided, coming in through the conversation, setting platters of food on the table.

"We're going to have to break out the wine, Lisa," Grandpa sighed, settling down in his chair at the head of the table.

Aunt Annie's pale face was the shade of Mom's bright red lips. She fixed her curly blond hair just like how Mom fixes her hair when she gets frustrated or nervous.

We finally got through dinner, with many crude jokes from my cousins. I thought about how Mom and Aunt Annie were just alike, everything down to their slender bodies to their personalities. Ethan and Amelia are like older versions of, Nathan and me. They grew up the exact same lifestyle and once they got to college they went crazy with all the freedom. Amelia just didn't get pregnant, at least that I know of.

"So who's your boyfriend," Amelia asked, as she flicked through the channels of the flat screen TV.

I thought maybe I should just say Paul so I wouldn't look like a slut, but then I remembered that Paul and I never defined our relationship. I assume were a couple, but I'm not quite sure…

"It wasn't my boyfriend that got me pregnant. It was Logan Blume," I casually said as she flicked on MTV.

She gasped, "Like, the Logan Blume, the one with the rich snobby parents and everything?"

"Exact one," I mumbled, picking off pieces of lint off of my clothes.

"That's interesting. It's going to one good-looking kid," she laughed, settling back in the couch, her hands flying across her phone again. She probably telling everyone about me now, good thing she didn't go to my school, the Blume's are just a widely known family.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

The halls were filled with excitement because it being so close to winter break. They kids got more rambunctious as it got closer and closer to the holidays. Everyone's fed off of everybody's energy, even the teachers got more lose, but we still had the a week and a day.

"You still going to Logan's practice," Sadie asked beside me, as we tried to make way in the hoard of students.

"Yes, are you still coming," I questioned her and secretly hoped that she was still planning on it. I didn't want to have to sit on the bleachers with drooling girls.

"Well, I am your ride," she smiled, "but, I would stay with you even if I wasn't."

I grinned, "Yeah, because it's your excuse to watch Danny."

"That is not true," she gasped.

I gave her one look and we both laughed because we both know it is true.

We got to the bleachers about the same time the baseball players got onto the diamond.

"He's so cute," Sadie sighed, placing her arms on her knees so she could cup her chin.

"You disgust me," I laughed at her eyes as they got wide.

They practiced and I listened to Sadie go on and on about Danny and how cute he is in his uniform. I shook my head and laughed at her, but my leg would not stop shaking up and down. I don't know what Logan will do if I try to talk to him again.

The coach blew the whistle and I hurried down the steps to get to Logan before he went into the locker room.

"Logan," I called!

He looked back and a couple of guys that passed him clapped him on the back as he stopped and turned around.

"What Alexia," he sighed, twirling a baseball in his hand?

I looked behind me and Sadie waved at me.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go to a doctor's appointment with me for the baby," I muttered, watching as my foot my symbols in on the asphalt.

"I told you, I don't want anything to do with it," Logan snarled.

"You don't have to act like that Logan," I glared up at him, his furious blue eyes reminding me too much of my mom.

He glared down at me, "I told you already that I don't want anything to do with it. Get an abortion for all I care."

"I'm not going to do that Logan," I shook my head at him, "I just wanted to give you the option again."

"Well, my decision hasn't changed and it's not going to," he gritted his teeth at me, trying to keep his voice down.

I picked at the black nail polish on my finger nails, "My Mom wants to talk to your parents."

"She will have to talk to them about that."

"Logan, you don't have to such an ass. Like you said, it takes two. It wasn't me and I was drunk, you on the other hand were completely sober and knew exactly what you were doing. So, don't give me bullshit. You don't have to be in your child's life, they never even will know who their father is, and I promise you that. Just fucking tells me when your parents can talk with my Mom," I ranted, on the verge of tears of frustration.

He looked at me for a second and stared back down at his baseball spinning between his fingers, "She can come over Sunday at five; they're having a lunch with friends at my house. She can show up after it."

"Thank you," I mumbled turning away.

"Alexia," he called back, "Your option is still there for you to choose too."

I looked back at him, "My decision hasn't changed and it's not going to."

He smiled at me quoting him, but sorrow was still in his ocean blue eyes.

"What did he say," Sadie asked, climbing down the bleachers.

"He said no, of course," I mumbled, following her into the parking lot.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled when we got to her car.

"Don't be," I climbed in the front, "Logan's a jerk."

She threw her head back and laughed, "You got that right! How's Paul?"

"Good I guess," I mumbled, watching the clouds move across the grey sky.

"How does he feel about the baby?"

I shrugged, "I guess he's okay with it. I don't really talk to him about it much and he doesn't pry."

"You seem pretty serious about him," She asked, but it didn't sound much like a question?

"He's the really only other person besides you to really accept me."

"Do you love him," She glanced over at me, but diverted her eyes back to road quickly to ensure that we would be getting home safely?

"Yeah, yeah I do," I nodded my head, laying a hand on the small bump on my abdomen. It's not visible, unless I have my t-shirt on, but I can feel it starting to strain against my jeans.

"That's good," she nodded, turning onto the main road to my house, "How is your mom fairing with all of this?"

"Totally pissed," I sighed.

She laughed, "When is she not pissed is my question? How is your dad?"

I shrugged, "Don't see him much. He's mostly at the hospital and, before you ask, Nathan is happy as ever with arrogant Arianna."

"Figures," she mumbled turning onto my street.

"Remember when you had a crush on Nathan and every day, that's all you ever talked to me about," I laughed as her tan skin turned red.

"Okay that was, like, in fifth grade! I'm way over that now! That's so disgusting to think about now…"

We laughed together and she pulled into the driveway. It was easy with Sadie, almost a bit easier than with Paul. Sadie knows everything about me; she's seen the white lines scarring my thighs. It was lucky that Paul didn't notice any of them. Paul doesn't know everything, but it felt like I could trust him. He wasn't going to hurt me like so many people I have trusted have.

"You can go and meet Logan's parents at their house Sunday at five," I muttered to Mom in her office as I walked past it.

She was on the phone and nodded her head at me and shooed me off with a frustrated look.

"Come on," I said, pulling Sadie's arm up the steps.

"I want to know why your mom is such a bitch," Sadie pondered, messing with everything in sight on my desk.

I flipped through a textbook on my bed, "He mom is a total bitch."

"Hm, that's interesting. You would think that since she didn't like getting bossed around, that she would so the opposite," she thought, throwing up a rubber band ball around in her hands.

"Well, when she had Nathan and me, she finally had someone to boss around," I said, writing some notes in my notebook.

"Not true," she pointed at me, "your dad is whipped."

I laughed, "True."

"Is Paul whipped," she asked, flipping through some of my papers?

I glanced at her, giving her a questioning look, "Don't you have some homework to do too."

"Yeah, like a year's worth! That's not the question! Is Paul whipped," she jumped up out of the chair and headed towards my closet.

"No, he is not whipped," I mumbled, scribbling down more facts.

"He's so whipped," she grinned from over her shoulder at me.

"In fact, no he isn't and would you stop raiding my room," I raised my eyebrows at her?

She smirked and went back to sit in my chair, but fiddled with the objects sitting on top of it, "Don't be cranky."

"Yep, so cranky."

"You are!"

"Sure."

I looked up as a knock sounded at the door and Nathan came in, "I wanted to say that I was sorry for being immature to you after you got Arianna mad at me. It's not your problem she's over-emotional."

"It's fine Nate," I smiled up at him, I knew he wouldn't be mad at me forever, "It's not your fault either that she's an over-emotional bitch."

He gave me a playful frown and went back out of the room. I like our relationship, simple. If we had a problem we told each other, but we would never really fight. He knew when I first started cutting and he tried to work me through it. I finally said that I stopped because he was beating himself up over it.

"Why is he with that girl," Sadie mumbled, reading through a notebook?

"Why would he because of Mom," I sighed, biting on my overgrowing nails, "Now, get to work."

"Ugh, but I hate work," She groaned, picking out a textbook out of her backpack and settling it in her lap.

* * *

**How are you all? Please review and tell me what you think? It really means a lot to me when I know what my readers do and don't like. It would be wonderful if you could pretty please review. How do you feel? Tell me anything, anything at all! If I get five reviews tonight I will post another chapter, but if not... well, I don't know. REVIEW?**

**-AlwaysConfusedArtist**


	9. Motorcycle

**I do NOT own Twilight.**

* * *

I taped my foot impatiently against the carpeted floor in doctor's office. The pregnant women glanced at me with irritated looks, but even though they scared me, I couldn't stop it. As I came in and they could see that it wasn't my mom pregnant, but me the young girl, I got weird glances. It especially came from the elderly woman sitting across to me; she furrowed her eyebrows and fluffed up her giant ball of white hair.

"Alexia, stop it," Mom hissed at me from the side of her magazine.

I glanced at her, but didn't stop my foot taping. Like I said, I can't.

"Alexia Grey," A nurse looked up from her clipboard.

I frowned at her as she pronounced my name wrong. It's like how you say Alex, just ending a little differently. I stood up, none the less, and followed her with my mom behind me. She led us into a pale yellow room with pictures of baby's in different states in the womb.

"If you could take a lay down," She gestured at the table I was already headed to.

"Now, how long do you think you've been pregnant for," she asked, but she asked it like I wouldn't know it anyways.

I did figure this one out, "Twelve weeks."

"Alright," she said and lifted up my shirt.

She rubbed her hand around on my stomach and nodded to herself. She squirted some blue stuff onto my stomach. I flinched at the freezing temperature, but I got used to it after a while. She brought the machine to life behind her and pressed the wand type thing to my lower abdomen.

After she swirled it in the electric blue gel, a whooshing sound filled the room. It came thundering out and confused me, which was my baby's heartbeat. Images filled the small screen next to me as I watched it. A small silhouette was surrounded in a dark circle. You could perfectly see all of the limbs. The tiny hands clenched around the head and the legs bent in front, it all felt more real.

The ultrasound technician pointed out everything, but I could already tell everything about it. I already loved it. She printed out a picture and gave it to me before leading us into another room to discuss some things with an actual doctor.

I met my doctor, Doctor Jamin. He looked to be only about in his twenties, with scruffy brown hair. He went through different things with me and looked me over once again to make sure I was healthy and the baby was. Everything was going good until Mom had to say something.

"So, what if we wanted to have an abortion," Mom questioned the doctor?

"No, I don't want to have an abortion," the ultrasound proved that all the more.

"It's a big responsibility, Alexia, I don't think you understand that," She sighed.

"I know what I'm doing."

"Who's going to take care of it while you finish school? Your father and I certainly can't, we have to work," She shook her head at me.

"I'm not going to kill a human being," I muttered, remembering the thundering sound of the baby's heartbeat.

"It's a fetus."

"It has a heartbeat, Mom," I growled, "If we found something with a heartbeat on another planet, we would be shouting that there's more life."

Her eyes gave me her signature glare, but I've had enough of her bulling me around. I've decided to not let her get to me anymore.

-O-o-O-o-O-

The ride in the car with Mom was silent. An awkward air hung around the both of us as we traveled to the Blume Resident.

We were greeted at the door by a slender man with brown hair and blue eyes as Logan. I assumed he was the father and my assumptions were correct. He wasn't sure why we were here and was wary, making me all the more uneasy because my mom and I were going to have to break the news to him because Logan didn't.

Logan came down, after his Dad called him down, with his mom. Her black hair, like Logan's, twisted in lose curls around her face and her amber eyes glowed against her pale skin.

"Please call me William," he nodded at my mom and shook her head, completely ignoring me.

"I'm Heather," the woman nodded at Mom and me.

"I'm Scarlett and this is my daughter, Alexia," Mom introduced herself and me.

"Please, sit down," Mr. Blume gestured to the loveseat, "What brings you here?"

"Well," Mom started sitting down and I followed suit, "Alexia is pregnant."

Mr. Blume scratched his head and looked at his wife next to him on the stark white couch, "I sorry, I don't quite get what you're trying to tell us."

"Your son, William, got my daughter pregnant," Mom sighed, settling back in the couch and kept her posture perfectly straight.

"Is this true, Logan," Mr. Blume questioned Logan from the chair on the side?

Logan sighed and nodded, "Yes, Dad."

"Oh my, Logan! How could you do this," Mrs. Blume raised her hand to her mouth in shock that he could do such a thing, their perfect poster child.

"Logan," All Mr. Blume said and shook his head in his head.

"How far along are you," Mrs. Blume asked me?

"Twelve weeks," I mumbled the tension in the getting unbearable.

"So, you can have an abortion," Mrs. Blume asked relived, "It's a big responsibility. Two teenagers cannot raise a child on their own."

"That's what we wanted to discuss with you, Heather. Alexia refuses to get an abortion and I know you two would not that on your reputation. Since I will have to live with the embarrassment, I think it is only right for you to give us some funds," Mom went into business mode.

I knew she was going to do this; the next best thing next to a great reputation is money. We are certainly well off with Mom high up in the business she works in and Dad is a doctor, we have plenty of money, but Mom doesn't see it that way.

"Of course, of course, Scarlett! We will pay, but you're certain? You won't tell anyone and we can act like none of this happened," Mrs. Blume looked hopeful.

"Yes, with a fee," Mom muttered, nodding her head.

"How much are you talking about," Mr. Blume asked, handing mom a pile of Sticky Notes?

Mom scralled something on the notes and handed them back to Mr. Blume.

"Fair enough, so we won't have any association with the child? You won't tell it whose father it is," Mr. Blume looked between my mom and me, realizing that I could just as easily say something, but chances are, nobody would believe me. They would probably put it off saying that I want attention.

"Yes, no contact. Just pay us and nobody will ever have to know," Mom nodded her head, looking like she just hit the jackpot.

"Thank you so much! Logan, you are lucky Scarlett is being so gracious," Mrs. Blume exclaimed!

I didn't notice Logan much as he leaned back in his chair. He looked so frightened, like a child. I knew that look, I knew how he felt. It was like when I knew that I wasn't going to have and abortion and realizing that you could love something without it actually being able to really see it.

I got up silently and pulled out the ultrasound pictures and handed them to him.

His face looked astounded, like he could believe his eyes. His eyes glazed over as he looked the strip of photos over and sometimes his eyes would stray and look at my stomach. He couldn't believe that a baby was inside me, that_ his_ baby was inside me. I was carrying it and I couldn't believe it, even with the amount of straining on my jeans reminded me. All it took was one time and a miracle happened.

I already loved my baby more than my own life. It scared me. It all scared me. I was going to be responsible for another life. There would be no more worrying about me, I would also have to think about my baby.

Getting pregnant made me realize that it was my mom who was missing out. I would have the bond with my child that I never had with my mom.

"I-I want to I want to be a part of the baby's life, my baby's life," Logan muttered, never looking up from the photos.

"Logan, you will ruin my job," Mrs. Blume muttered.

She's a family counselor, how ironic, and her family is one of most messed up.

"You can't do that to us, Logan,"Mr. Blume shook his head at him.

"It's my kid, Dad. I will do whatever the hell I want," Logan hissed.

"Not under my roof," Mr. Blume growled.

"Fine, kick me out. I have enough money saved to rent an apartment. I'm not going to live the same miserable life as you Dad," Logan stood up from the black leather chair.

"Logan, sweetie, you don't know what you're doing," Mrs. Blume stood up and laid a hand on his arm.

"I know exactly what I'm doing," he shook off her hand and stormed up stairs.

"We will be in contact, but if Logan decides to have association with the child, we won't be paying," Mr. Blume said and left the room without a goodbye.

Mom and Mrs. Blume exchanged phone numbers and showed us out of the door.

"You better hope that Logan comes to his senses," Mom murmured, driving us home.

I smiled, I do hope he comes to his senses. I hope that my child would get a chance to have a relationship with the person that their half of, but I don't think that's what Mom considered coming to his senses.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Everyone was even more rambunctious and hollered in the halls. More people were getting rides with each other, having parties after school. Due to being Nathan's sister, I got invited to these parties, but I didn't want to go, I never did.

My stomach grew even more so, and I took to wearing a baggy shirt, but I think even then people got suspicious. Being fourteen weeks, my stomach is starting to protrude to being visible through my shirt.

Sadie and I decided to wait out the crazy bustle of people driving out of school; usually there is a crash because people are trying to get as far away from the school as possible. It being winter break, it's the longest break except for summer break.

"Look at those morons," Sadie clicked as we sat up against the side of the building and watched the aggressive drivers.

"There so stupid," I muttered, watching as someone got way to close trying to squeeze in and there was a fender bender.

Both of the guys got out of the car and yelled at each other.

"Look at that moron. He's going to get killed on a motorcycle here," Sadie sighed, pointing out as a sleek black motorcycle flew between cars.

Something was familiar about the rider, something about the posture…

The man on the motorcycle flew up by the curb Sadie and I sat behind. He got off her took off his matching black helmet.

My heart crashed into my stomach and flew up to my head, blood rushed too quickly. I hoped up and almost killed myself as I flung myself at his warm body.

He wrapped his arms around me and held me close to his body.

I looked up at his shining grey eyes and couldn't help the goofy grin that spread across my face. I never knew I could be so happy from seeing someone.

"Hi," I laughed and leaned up to kiss his lips.

He laughed with me and pressed a more firm kiss on my lips. One thing led to another and I found myself leaning against him as he pressed into the motorcycle behind him.

His hand fell from my neck and drifted down to certain parts that didn't need to be groped in public, especially at a school, but you didn't see me stopping me. He used his new position to lift me up off the ground and was able to kiss me better.

"Excuse me, Ms. Grey," some voice called behind me.

I pushed Paul away and stood back. Turning around I straightened my clothes and science teacher, Mr. Tate.

"Oh, sorry Mr. Tate," I muttered, my already heated face flushed all the way down my neck.

He cleared his throat, "If you would like to do such activities, I would like to advise you to do it off of school campus."

"Yes, Mr. Tate," I mumbled, my shoes turning into something very interesting.

He spun around and went back inside the building, clearly just as embarrassed as I was.

I turned around to see Paul trying not to laugh as he bit on his lips. I frowned at him, he wasn't embarrassed.

"Hey," he raised his hands up in defense, "you came onto me."

I laughed, "That's what they all say and you were the one doing inappropriate stuff."

"That's also your fault," I raised an eyebrow, "I can't help you have a great ass."

"Paul," I cried and thumped my fist on his chest!

"I wasn't enjoying the PDA either," Sadie sat against the wall in the same spot with a disgust scrawled all over her face.

"You're just jealous you can't do that with, who was it," Paul looked at me, "Oh, yeah! Danny!"

"Whatever," Sadie mumbled, "I have to get home and feed the cat or I won't be able to do anything the whole break. I can leave you in the care of Paul if you would like?"

"Really, I can have you all to myself," Paul looked like a kid in a candy shop?

"You sure can big boy! Just don't let her mom catch you, she thinks she's hanging out with me," Sadie said.

I felt like I wasn't standing here. All of the plans that were being made revolved around me and I had no say.

"Got it," Paul clapped and glanced at me with an evil smirk.

"Alright love birds, catch you later," Sadie slung her backpack over her shoulder and headed off into the hazard of a parking lot.

It was then that I noticed people staring and pointing at me, especially girls. Their faces were green with envy as they glared at me.

My smile got as wide as it could get and Paul put his arm around my waist.

"I take it you've never rode before," Paul asked and looked over his shoulder at the bike?

I shook my head no.

"Great, this will be more fun for me," he smoothed his hands together in a very evil villain type way.

He helped me onto the motorcycle and placed my backpack on my back. I smirked and winked at the girls staring as Paul placed the helmet on my head.

"Maybe you are having just as much fun as me," he laughed and looked at the girls.

I almost fell off the bike out of shock and laughter as he winked at the girls and their eyes widened. More drool fell from their lips more than it rains in Washington.

"Ready," he asked, revving the bike.

"Ready," I muttered, gripping onto his leather jacket tighter and hugged myself closer.

I instinctively scooted myself closer to his back as the motorcycle flew out of the parking lot.

It felt close to being on a rollercoaster except for the dropping feeling, it was just pure adrenaline rushing through my body. I held back squeals as he weaved in and out of traffic, never coming close to hitting another car.

We stopped at the capital and went and sat on the rocks that overlooked the Puget Sound and the man-made lake in front of the capital.

I shivered once I climbed off of the bike and he handed me a pullover sweatshirt under his leather jacket.

I slipped it on instantly noticing the warmth and the smell. He slid my hand into his and we sat down on the boulders surrounding a path that winded down to go into downtown.

"So, you went to the doctor's and got an ultrasound," he asked, but I already told him.

I pulled out a picture I stuck in my pack pocket and handed it to him.

He stared at it in wonder for a few seconds. He looked at the picture and memorized it just like it was his own child he was looking at.

"It's amazing," he muttered and handed me back the photo.

I looked at it myself for a second before I put it back.

"What's the occasion of you coming here," I pondered, looking out over the rippling waters?

"I can't just come and see you? You came to La Push and jumped me," he smiled.

I nudged his shoulder with mine, but heat consumed my face as I remembered, "That's different."

"I just wanted to see you," he muttered and kissed me on the corner of my lips.

I grinned and turned my head to kiss him back.

"Plus, you really have to stop jumping me every time you see me. It's really not healthy," he shook at me and gave me a playful concerned look.

"You know you love it," I whispered, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Maybe a little," he sighed, defeated.

* * *

**Thank you for the reviews! Please, please review! I love to hear the feedback from all of you! How did you like it? Hate it? Love it? REVIEW? Okay, so this chapter is coming out early because I am flying tomorrow and I probably won't have much time to write while I am away. Please, tell me your thoughts? Anything? Okay, right now! REVIEW! Thanks to all of the readers out there in the cyber space world!**

**~AlwaysConfusedArtist~**

**P.S. Do you guys like the photos I post? If not, I may not make them anymore. Well, thanks once again!**


	10. New Year

**I do not own Twilight in any way.**

* * *

We stopped and ate in one of the café downtown, using my emergency credit card; they at least own me some lunch.

Our hands swung back and forth as we walked down the boardwalk. Not one shiver went through me with the werewolf warmth radiating like a sun next to me and his extremely large sweatshirt on. The wind blew on the grey water, rippling it in so many ways that made it that much more beautiful. I pointed that out to Paul and he had to get cheesy and tell me nothing was more beautiful than me.

"I should really get back to Sadie," I mumbled, as we passed more and more boats tied up to the docks.

"No, you don't," he said, pulling on my hand making me stop walking.

"It's like, already four," I looked at my phone.

"That's not late at all," he laughed, pulling me close to his chest.

I leaned in to the comfortable heat and scent, "Yeah, to you Mr. Bad Boy Paul."

"It's not late for anyone on this planet! You just don't want to be seen with me," he smirked down at me.

He was partly right. I was scared somebody was going to see me with him and ask my mom about it. That already happened at the school, but those kids wouldn't talk to my Mom. Worst thing possible, they would ask Nathan about it, but he wouldn't rat me out. I could be seen by one of my mom's many friends and they would most certainly gossip, but what's the point? She already knows that I hang out with him. I'm already pregnant, what's the worst that could happen?

"Alright, but you have to hang out with Sadie. I promised her I would hang out with her," I said, raising my chin up off of his chest.

"Sounds good to me," he smirked and dragged me back to his motorcycle.

We pulled up to Sadie's house and I noticed right away that her parent's car wasn't there, but hers was.

"There you are! I was about to have a search party come look for you," she sighed, as she flung open the door to the bungalow.

"Yeah, you and Fred," I asked pointed at the orange tabby in her hands, named after Fred Weasley in the Harry Potter series.

"You brought lover boy with you," she questioned, as I pulled him in the house with me?

"What are we going to do tonight," I asked and went to go sit down on the couch?

"I have no clue, I thought you would know," she mumbled as she plopped down on the chair and hung her feet dangling over the side.

"There's nothing to do in this godforsaken town," she yelled, flipping on the television!

"You should try living in La Push," Paul muttered next to me.

"Really," Sadie asked, curiously, "what's that like."

He laughed, "Everybody knows each other. There's absolutely nothing, unless you boat like me, but that cost a lot of money for gas."

"That sucks," Sadie mumbled.

"Yep," Paul sighed, running a hand through his black hair.

"We could always go to the movies," Sadie tried as a commercial for a new movie came on.

"Boring," I said, my voice telling it all by itself.

"The mall?"

"No."

"Then what," she let the controller fall to the wood floors, exasperated?

"We could walk downtown," I guessed, "Paul hasn't seen much of our little downtown."

"There's not much to see," Sadie muttered.

"That sounds good," Paul said nodding his head, "It's better than the scenery that I have to see every day."

We loaded up into Sadie's old mustang that used to be her dad's when he was in college.

We walked around downtown until about eight o'clock and went to eat. We went back to Sadie's house and I made sure my mom knew that I was sleeping over at her house.

"I had a fun time, Paul. I hope Alexia will let me come along on adventures with you again," Sadie smiled, "I let you two have some time alone, but I want her back."

She smiled and winked at me as she walked up to her house and went inside.

"I had a great time, Paul. I'm glad you showed up at school today," I mumbled.

"I had a great time too," he laughed, putting a finger under my chin and lifting it up to look at him.

I would never get used to all of this mushy stuff. I could do _other_ things with him no problem, but when it comes to lovey dovey stuff, I can't look at him with my whole head catching on fire. His grey eyes burn through every surface that I built up around me to keep Mom from hurting me. He tears it down with just one stare like it's nothing. He breaks it down till it's just me, raw. I feel vulnerable, but yet, I like it. It's like a fresh breath of air. His stormy grey eyes melts, cracks, burns every bearer around me.

"I love you," I choked out, without even meaning to say it out loud; it just came out as it passed my mind.

"I love you too," he said, leaning down and kissing me gently, so softly.

He pushed back my dull brown hair behind my ear and planted another short kiss, but it lingered there for what felt like ever.

He hopped onto his motorcycle, waved me goodbye, slipped on his helmet, and rode off down the dark streets.

God, I felt like a giddy teenybopper.

-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-

The black sweater dress that I pulled out of my closet fitted me wonderfully. It hugged my curves that I used that were non-existent before I got pregnant. It formed around the small bump that has been growing, but the black covered it up so it wouldn't be very noticeable.

"You look really good," Sadie laughed from in the bathroom.

"Thanks," I muttered and slipped on the black boots with heels. I grabbed my purse and waited on Sadie to be finished getting ready.

We were headed to Danny's New Year's Eve party. Sadie hoped to get a kiss from him finally.

"How do I look," she asked, spinning around in her tight fitted red dress, too short to even be called a dress?

"Like a slut," I told her.

"Good," she smiled, "that's exactly what I'm going for."

"Fabulous, now let's go," I sighed, getting up from sitting on the side of my bed.

The old Victorian house's lawn was overflowing with teenagers of all sorts, hands clutched onto red plastic cups. I wasn't going to be able to drink for sure, I wouldn't anyway. I already got pregnant from consuming too much alcohol once, I wasn't going to do it again and mess up not only my life, but a bunch of other people affected by my situation.

"Danny," Sadie squealed out to the blond haired boy talking to someone on the porch!

She jumped up into his arms and he looked startled and not sure what to do with the girl in his arms.

I laughed quietly and made my way into the crammed house.

"I didn't know you were coming," someone said behind me.

I spun on my heels and stared blankly at Logan.

"I didn't know I had to inform you wherever I went," I muttered, his head stayed bent, watching his feet.

He shrugged, "I never had to, but I thought maybe I could have come here with you."

"Logan, it's not going to happen between you and me. If you think changing your mind about the baby is going to change mine, then you're wrong. I already am with someone else," I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest to lean against the wall behind me. My feet were already killing me.

"I know, but it would be nice to have a chance to just hang out with you," he mumbled, leaning on the doorframe.

"So, are you still living with your parents," I asked?

"Well legally, they can't kick me out of the house since I'm only seventeen, but," he ran a hand through his recently cut black hair, "I couldn't stand living there. I collected a lot of money and have a lot of valuable stuff that I was able to get an apartment downtown over a coffee shop."

"Good," I smiled.

I was glad that he was able to do that. I would probably move out of my house if I had money, but I don't.

"Are you here with anybody," Logan asked after a moment of silence?

I nodded my head, "Yeah, with Sadie."

He nodded his head back, "So… not with the guy you're with?"

I smiled, "No he isn't here. He lives in La Push and it's a long drive to get here. There's really no point for him to always come out here and waste the gas.

"He was the guy on the motorcycle right," he questioned?

"That was me," the deep voice laughed coming through the door.

"Paul, what are you doing here," I couldn't help the grin that stretched out across my face.

"Well, why not come," He grinned devilishly and picked me up planting a big kiss on my lips.

"I should go," Logan cleared his throat, "tell me when the next ultrasound is."

I nodded my head as Paul set me back on the ground and turned back to him, "How did you know where I was?"

"Um," he leaned down next to me and whispered in my ear, "I'm a werewolf remember?"

I slapped myself mentally. I forgot all about that.

"Yeah, Alexia, remember," another familiar voice bellowed coming through the door!

"Hey Jared and Kim," I smiled, "I hope you guys didn't waste gas to come here?"

"Hell no," Jared laughed!

"We ran here," Paul shrugged casually.

"We went wolf," Jared elaborated.

"I went on the wolf," Kim grumbled.

"Aw," Jared cooed and kissed her cheek.

"Kimmy doesn't like riding, says she feels like she's always going to fall off," Paul laughed at Kim.

"But I would never would let her fall," Jared said, snuggling Kim into his side.

"Gross, gag me," Paul muttered and pretended to gag.

I laughed and we all looked around each other. Now what did we do? It wasn't really awkward, just weird. We were all at somebodies house I barely even knew and they don't even know the person's name!

"Come on Jared, let's go find something to drink," Kim pulled Jared away.

Kids came in and out of the house non-stop and music pounding, the walls shook with every boom of the bass. Mostly, everybody was drunk; they bobbed their heads and kissed one another. I could hear a scuffle happening out back and I could see Jared un-mistakenly large body in the kitchen with Kim wrapped around him.

"What were you talking to Logan about," Paul asked, bring back my attention to him?

"We were just talking about where he was living now."

"Is he not living with his parents?"

I shook my head, "No, he said he couldn't stand it, so he moved out into an apartment downtown with money he has"

"Has he changed his mind about the baby?"

"No, he hasn't," I mumbled, my fingers pinching at my palm.

"Have you changed your mind about Logan," his grey eyes filled with worry?

I laughed and doubled over, "No, are you kidding me! Why would I do that?"

He smiled and shrugged, "Usually, girls stay with the dad because they think that the baby needs the parents to be married or some crap like that."

"It would be no help to my baby if Logan and I were together. We were never together, it twill all work out in the end."

_I hope._

"I'm glad because I would be super pissed," he laughed.

"The balls about to drop," someone called from the living room!

Everyone filed into the living room and crowed around the television screen as it showed the giant ball in New York. The numbers started counting down and everyone joined in.

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

Everyone clapped and cheered, grabbing the closest person to them and kissing.

Paul grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into him, kissing me hard on the lips. His lips and mine were moving in sync. My lips parted, naturally, and his tongue slipped past my lips.

"Alright, that's enough you two. Let's not get this too heated now," Jared said, smacking Paul on the back.

"Alexia, you would not believe what just happened," Sadie shouted, running over and pulling Paul and me apart!

"Let me guess, Danny kissed you," I guessed?

"Yes," she squealed, "it was so magical!"

"That's great, Sadie," I smiled as her wild grin grew wider and wider by the second.

"I'm starving," Jared whined behind me.

"Yeah, me two and all this place has is smashed chips," Kim crinkled her nose.

"I'm going to go hang out with Danny," Sadie hugged me real quickly and ran somewhere in the house.

"Can we get something to eat," Jared asked?

"We could go wolf if you didn't want to leave Sadie, Alexia," Paul suggested?

"What's wolf," some curly haired kid with glasses asked as he passed by our little group in the corner, "Is it some kind of new drug?"

"No," Paul shook his head.

The kid left without more of an explanation.

"Pauly, you got to be more careful," Kim smacked at his large arm.

"So what do you think," Paul asked me, completely ignoring Kim.

"I guess it's okay."

They all smiled at each other, glad that they were going to get something to eat, even I was a bit happy as I could hear my stomach start to rumble. I just didn't know what going wolf entailed. If Kim was scared, wont I be terrified because it's my first time? I don't know, I will just have to hope that the baby doesn't pick this time to make me blow chunks.

o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o

After I gave Sadie the keys to my car and told her to meet me back at her house, we were off and out the front door.

We walked down the street to where the street ended to a clump of trees.

"Are you sure I won't be scared," I asked, pulling Paul closed by his arm that I was gripping?

"Hell yeah you will be!"

"Don't say that Kim, just because you're a chicken doesn't mean she's one too," Paul smirked.

"Little Alexy will be just as scared as all of the others were on their first ride Pauly," Kim stuck her tongue out at him.

_Alexy? Was that going to be my knew nickname?_

"What do you call Jared if you add a y to everyone's name," I wondered out loud?

"Jerry," Kim laughed.

We laughed except for Jared. Apparently he didn't approve that name.

"And how many are of you guys," I asked, more and more keep being added to my list of werewolves/shape shifters?

"Too many to count," Paul answered.

"This is good," Jared said as we passed a couple of trees into the dark woods.

Paul's hand slipped out of mine as he followed Jared deeper into the woods, pushing and shoving each other on the way.

"It's so cold," I shivered as the main supply of my warmth left my side.

I noticed how exactly uncomfortable I was in my heels and the make-up that I put on my face. My shoulders and feet were killing me. The heels didn't help much either. I decided, why put myself in more pain than I have to be in?

I slipped the heels off and put them in my purse, my tights the only thing being a barrier between the cold hard ground and my skin that was trying its hardest to warm itself. The cold was better than my aching feet.

"Why do you dress like that anyways," Kim questioned as she watched me slide the heels into my bag.

"My mother," it always comes back to my mother.

"Why does your mother make you dress so proper?"

"Because she's proper and she thinks it will get me farther in life."

I snorted. Yeah, it lead me to getting drunk and knocked up by someone she always wanted me to date because I thought it would make her proud of me. Finally be proud of me, but I came to realization that it will never happen.

I don't talk to her much anyways; she knows I'm done with her.

Still, pain still stabs at me. I remind myself that my parents, the people that cared for me and worked so hard to get me good clothes, keep a roof over my head, feed me, pay for everything I needed I wanted, weren't proud of me. I was a failure to them.

"_Woof."_

I smiled at the giant grey wolf that became my new friend even though it was really my boyfriend in disguise.

Kim slid up on the brown wolf and I climbed on a nearby rock to climb up on Paul.

It felt weird to be on the wolf instead of just lying by it. It was like being on a horse, but a thicker and fuzzier horse.

I wasn't cold anymore, that was for sure. His warm body and fur instantly heated my chilled body.

He pawed at the ground a couple of times, like testing the soil and gave Jared a nod.

It started out as a slow walk and got into a trot. It turned it a rough galloping and turned into a full blown run.

Trees passed by us in blurs of green and brown the black night sky was covered with the branches of the trees overhead. It was exhilarating, a rush. Scream wanted to burst through my wind-blown lips, but I bit them back, not wanting to look like a total loser.

The wind rushed through my hair that I worked so hard to curl, but I could care less.

I could see how you could get sick if you tried to look at where you were going, but the key was to just let the things blur past you.

I glanced over at Kim as she hunched over on Jared back, hugging his body towards hers, her face being smothered in his fur.

I curled over her hugged Paul to my chest, putting my ear against his back.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

His heartbeat rang through my ears; his even breathing never strayed off though he was running super-fast.

I could tell when we were getting close when they started slowing down. The trees thinned out and I could see lights flashing by through the trees.

They stopped and Kim got off, but fell down as she slid off of Jared's back. She fell with a _humph._

Jared took the opportunity and ran his long wolf tongue all the way from her chin up to her hairline.

"Jared, that was not funny," she grumbled, wiping her hands on her jeans as she pulled herself up.

I heard what sounded like a wolf cackle come from both Jared and Paul.

"Just go get dressed," I said, biting back the giggle that was begging to break through.

* * *

**Alright, this is a pretty short chapter. Thank you to anyone who is reading. If you review I love you even much more and it would help brighten my day. I was gone, out of time for two weeks, that's why I haven't posted in a long time. I'm sorry, I haven't been in much of a good mood my parents just divorced and my mom is already getting re-married and my dad is dating someone who could be his daughter. So please, just take a few minutes and brighten my day with any thoughts you have. Thank you again.**

**-AlwaysConfusedArtist**


	11. Valentine's Day

**PLEASE READ: So, I realized some people may not be reading the notes at the bottom, I skip them sometimes too, but this is a really important note. Somebody said, a Guest, that they couldn't handle the story up to the point where Alexia gets pregnant. Well, to each their own. I wish you they would have logged in so they could tell me what exactly made them stop reading, but they didn't. I really appreciate those people who have stuck with me to this point. You are very much appreciated, I wish I could do something for you. If that person reads this, please log in and we can talk, but whatever. So, I don't want to get anymore readers upset, on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight in any way shape or form.**

* * *

Eyes watched me as I walked through the halls.

Their eyes followed me and the whispering was a constant around me. Every time I looked behind my back they were whispering in the nearest person's ear to get their gossip in.

_I heard she got knocked up by the guy on the motorcycle._

_Logan says it's his baby, but I think she got him to get her pregnant for the money._

_She's such a whore._

_I hear that she does drugs and has a pimp._

_What a slut!_

Never ending things were said behind my back. Sadie caught a few of them in the act and told them off, but I told her it wasn't worth it. They would keep talking no matter what. The evidence of what I did was carried on my body, for all to see and no covering it up. It was clearly visible at twenty weeks. I wasn't ashamed.

"What are you looking at," Sadie snarled at some freshman as we walked past.

They ducked their heads and scurried away like sewer rats.

"Thanks," I mumbled to her as we reached my locker, we already stopped at hers.

"Seriously Alexia, it's no problem," she smirked.

I think she secretly enjoyed having a reason to tell people off.

"Hey, Alexia," Nathan nodded at me.

"What do you want," I sighed, pulling out my backpack and stuffing the books I would need in?

"I wanted to see how you are doing. I heard people talking smack all day," he laughed, trying to make a joke out of it.

I guess it kind of is funny. The kids jump at anything new to start spreading lies about. They love it and eat it up. In a way, they were like old women. They love to gossip and jump on the first thing they think is scandalous and make up ludicrous things.

"I'm fine," I smiled, slipping my backpack over my shoulder.

"I'm going to get a ride with Arianna," he said, handing over the keys to our car.

"Okay, see you back at home," I said.

We waved him off as he walked back over to Arianna; she probably started most of the rumors about me.

Weaving through the crowded halls, ignoring the gossip, we finally made it back to the safe confines of my car.

"That was a long day," Sadie muttered, throwing her bag in the backseat.

I followed suit, "Tell me about it."

o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o

"Hey Mrs. Grey," Sadie nodded at my mom in her office as we passed it.

"Sadie," she muttered, not even looking up from her computer.

"Why does your mom always have a fifty foot long stick up her butt," Sadie whispered to me when we got in my room.

"Um, she's always like that Sadie, always have been," I laughed.

I dug through my bag and pulled out a textbook for the math I have to do, but before I could open it, my phone rang.

"Hello," I questioned the person on the other line, I didn't have their number in my address book?

"Hey, Alexia. It's Logan."

"Hi Logan," I sat down on the edge of the bed while Sadie gave me a curious look.

"Um I was calling because I wanted to know if you, um, wanted to go to buy like baby things sometime."

"Oh," my eyebrows furrowed, "sure, whatever. Do you have a room in your apartment or something?"

"Yeah, I bought a two bedroom," I heard him smile over the phone.

"Okay, yeah sure. Just tell me the time and place."

"I was thinking this weakened maybe," he suggested.

"I could do that," I nodded.

"Alright, see you at school or something."

"Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up and had to laugh at Sadie's face as she tiled her head to the side. She reminded me of her cat when she did that.

"Why was Logan calling," she asked?

"He wanted to know if I wanted to shop for baby things with him," I chuckled, opening up the textbook.

"That's weird," she mumbled around chewing on the end of her pencil.

I nodded my head agreeing.

o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o

I waited in the lobby of the waiting room of the doctors. This was the appointment where we would get to see if it was a boy or girl.

I didn't care what it was. I really didn't. I know a lot of people say that and they actually secretly wish for one, I could really care less. It was my first baby and to be honest, I couldn't imagine myself with either. I couldn't imagine myself having a baby at all. I think it will make it all the more real when I know if I'm going to have a sweet little boy or a little princess as a baby girl.

"Alexia, you can come on back," the nurse with the clipboard in her hand announced.

It was the same routine they squirted the freezing blue stuff around on my stomach and swirled the wand around on my stomach.

The sound of the heartbeat, a sound I probably could never get used to, thundered through the room.

Logan smiled down at me and I smiled back.

It feels like it could be awkward, but it didn't. It was a strange feeling like it was a ticking bomb of awkward. One wrong thing and they better call the awkward SWAT control.

"Do you guys want to know the gender," the technician asked as she watched the black and white screen.

I nodded my head while Logan said, "Yes, please."

"It's a girl, congratulations," she smiled back at us and showed us on the screen.

I was going to have a little girl. We were going to have a little girl. She wasn't going to be told she has to be perfect. She wasn't going to have to plaster on a fake grin every morning. She wasn't going to have to look perfect. She wasn't going to be another me, but then again, she won't get everything she wants like I did. She won't have all the toys and clothes in the world. She won't have the new electronics that come out. She won't have the new and the best, but she will have my love.

I felt tears start to tickle at the corner of my eyes and I tried to swallow them back down, but I couldn't help the couple of tears that escaped.

Logan didn't say anything, but a smile was placed on his lips, not a fake one like I have seen him wear so many times.

"Thank you," I muttered to the technician as she left for me to get dressed.

She didn't say anything, but nodded and winked, closing the wooden door behind her.

My little girl won't have to try to be perfect because she will already be perfect.

o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o

I found where all the awkward was hiding.

To say going shopping for baby stuff with Logan was awkward would be an understatement.

I watched as a lot of pink stuff was thrown into a cart and hauled away to the cash register.

Logan acted like he was somewhat poor, only scrounging up enough money to pay rent for an apartment. I was wrong to assume.

Not only did we buy a crib, changing table, rocking chair, and plenty of toys, we also stopped off at the hardware store to get paint to paint her bedroom.

"Don't you get a whole bunch of baby stuff from like a baby shower or something," Logan asked, sipping his lemonade.

We stopped at a small little restaurant downtown to grab a bite to eat before we hauled everything back to his apartment.

"I'm not having a baby shower," I mumbled through the straw of the malt.

"Why not?"

"My mom won't allow it. I still live under her roof, so I try to live by my parents' rules as much as possible," I still went against their wishes of not seeing Paul, but I wasn't going to follow that one.

"What about your dad? What does he think," his blue eyes seemed sincerely interested in my life?

"I never see him, he's always working," I sighed, pushing away the malt.

"Oh," he muttered, taking the last sip of his lemonade, "are you ready?"

I nodded and stood up out of the chair, holding my back as I stood up.

I was going to offer helping carry things up out of his car, even though I knew I probably wouldn't be much help, but he declined.

"I got it don't worry," he said, driving past building he pointed out to be his.

I was impressed, it looked really nice. The red bricks had an old crumbling look, but they were bright red, looking freshly painted and all of the details they forget to put into buildings these days was still there. Plus, the outside was nice with lined up potted plants on the side.

"Call me sometime or something," he said, putting the car into park.

"I will," I unbuckled, "so, you don't want to do anything legal about the baby, like when you get her?"

It kept coming up in the back of my mind. He seems like he would do something like that, like he might not trust me. I don't know how much he wants to see her anyways. I have no clue how he wants to do it.

"No," he raised an eyebrow, "why do you say that?"

"Well, you may not trust me in letting you see her or something."

"We will work it out," he smiled at me, his perfectly white teeth glimmering in the pink and orange sky.

"Okay," I nodded, climbing out of the car.

"See you later."

I nodded my head and waved him off. I sighed.

_We will work it out._

o-0-o-0-o-0-o

"What are you going to name her," Sadie asked me as, yet again, we were working on homework, but at her house this time.

"I don't know," I shrugged; I've been thinking the same thing.

"Do you have a baby name book," she asked?

I shook my head, "No, I can just look at names online."

"Are you going to let Logan decide with you?"

"What is this, twenty questions," I sighed?

She shook her head no and let her head fall back down to look at the textbook she was leaning over on the ground.

I felt bad because I got irritated with her and I knew she was enjoying this a little too much. She was excited for the baby, I was too, but then those thoughts fell back in a deep pit in my mind, run over by other thoughts about the cost, all of my work, how I was going to finish school, all of this stuff that I will have to deal with.

"I'm sorry," I said, looking down at her shielded face with her hair falling over in a curtain.

"It's okay," she muttered, giving me a small smile as she looked up.

"It's just," I sighed, "I'm worried about everything. I don't have anything planned out. I still have to talk to my mom about working everything out and I'm dreading doing that."

"I know," she said, smiling a bigger smile up at me, "but you got me to help and Paul, not to mention."

I know I had their help, but there are some things that I would have to do alone, "I know," I said, smiling at her.

o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o

I wore a white top with a red sweat on February the fourteenth, it being Valentine's Day. Supposedly, Paul said that he was coming to get me from school and Sadie was smiling brightly and giggling at me all day. Paul let her in on what he was going to do with me, and she was taking joy in knowing something that I didn't.

"You're going to love it, he's so sweet," she smiled at me as we made our way through the hall.

"Don't you have something to get ready for," I questioned.

She had a date with Danny, "He can wait."

I shook my head and pushed the door open, my head staying shaking as I walked outside.

Paul leaned up casually against his parked motorcycle right in front of the school, a dozen red roses in his hand. He had on a plain white t-shirt with his leather jacket and jeans on.

"How are you," he asked when I walked up to him?

"Is this all really necessary," I questioned, standing up on my tiptoes to give him a quick kiss?

"Yes, yes it is necessary," he smirked; he was enjoying drawing attention to himself a little too much.

His head dropped down to my stomach, it had grown quite a bit since he last saw me in person. His smirk dropped a bit and looked at me with a sweeter grin.

"You're beautiful," he said, giving me a bigger kiss.

"We better go, people are giving us evil glares now," I laughed, "and you're not worried about people giving you weird and spiteful glances with a pregnant girl on the back off your motorcycle?"

He shrugged, "They don't know me," he leaned down and whispered in my ear, "They don't know I'm a werewolf with amazing reflexes."

I smiled and nodded at him, "True."

"Plus," he went on, handing me a helmet, "when are we going to see these people again after your done with high school."

I nodded, he was right again.

I jumped onto the bike after him and we were immediately off, I could faintly hear Sadie yelling at the top of her lungs at me to have a good time and don't get knocked up a second time if possible.

o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o

"We're going on your boat," I asked, looking at the black speedboat?

"Yeah, why not," he asked, standing back up from letting the boat down?

I shrugged, "No reason."

"Come on," he held out his hand to me after he jumped in the boat.

I took it and jumped from the dock into the boat, glad I wasn't in a skirt or everything would be a bit awkward.

"What exactly are we going to do," I muttered, looking down into the dark water.

The sun was setting, the pink and orange sky making that obvious, it reflected back into the murky waters.

"You will see," he grinned, sticking the keys in the ignition and pushing some buttons.

He slowly back up and I watched him as he concentrated and let the boat drift forward before giving it gas and sling shooting forward.

Being in the seat in the front of the boat allowed me to have a perfect view of the sun in front of me and it falling behind the water and to see Paul's chiseled face as he looked like he was thinking about something hard. His eyebrows furrowed as we drove onward.

He stopped the boat in the middle of the water when we got out far enough that we could just see a bit of La Push in the distance.

"This is where the fun begins," he grinned at me.

o-0-o-0-o-0-o

We bot sat in the back of the boat, Paul lounging on one side off the bench and I on the other, our legs tangled up in each other.

"Not to be rude, but how exactly do you afford all of this," I muttered, taking a small bite off the one of the strawberries he brought me.

"I have a crappy house," he laughed.

"Do you get paid for being a werewolf?"

"No, I get to live on the rez for free; I don't pay anything on the house. I mostly get my money from helping one of my friends in his auto shop or doing yard work."

"Do you like working with cars," he never really talked much about what he did for jobs and what he liked to do, except that he loved his boat.

"Yeah, but I'm not very good at it," he laughed.

I smiled, "You could go to school for it you know?"

"Yeah, but I don't have the time," he sighed, picking the little seeds off of his strawberry.

It was dark now, the sun setting down over the water as we ate the sandwiches he made. They were pretty good, nothing fancy, but I just enjoyed being with him.

"Do you want to go to school," his grey eyes moved up to meet mine.

I sighed, "I don't know what I want to do. Before I got pregnant I was supposed to be a lawyer because that's what my parent wanted me to be."

"You would be a pretty good lawyer, you could call people on their bluffs all day," he laughed, giving me a bright, warm smile.

"Maybe that's why they wanted me to be that," I smiled, "but, now I don't even know if I can go to school. I could take online classes, but I don't even know what I want to do."

"You got to find what you want to do," he said, "what do you like to do that makes you smile, besides being with me."

I laughed, "Nothings better than being with you, oh great Paul Lahote."

We laughed together for a while, the mood lightening up, until Paul spoke again.

"Can I tell you more about the legends," he asked me, taking hold of one of my hands in one of his russet ones.

"Go ahead," I smiled at his grey eyes matching the grey moon.

"Well, there's this thing called imprinting," he went on, "and it's a way a werewolf finds their perfect mate, like love at first site, but I would say it's more than that."

"You sound like you know a lot about it," it was starting to worry me.

He took a deep breath, "Yeah, well a lot of the pack has imprinted. Imprinting is last the express way of meeting that one person. You get it? It's like we don't have to wait long to fall in love with her, right when we meet her we know. It's like you revolve around her, she's your world."

"So, its werewolf love express," I laughed?

"Yeah," he smiled, "exactly. It's the greatest thing in the world."

I took my own deep breath and let my eyes fall shut, the light of the moon seeping through my eyelids, "And you imprinted?"

"Yeah, on you Alexia."

My eyelids flew open and made sure his eyes weren't holding any joke. This was possible right? I mean, werewolves were supposedly fairytales and they weren't supposed to be real, not possible, but here I was sitting in front of one. Why couldn't a legend be true?

"Are you sure," I questioned, just to make sure.

He laughed, "Yes, I'm very sure."

"So, you don't care that I'm pregnant," I asked?

"Alexia, don't be stupid," he sighed, pulling himself up and leaned over me, "your perfect. Your baby is your baby, part of you. I don't care if you were already set up to die, I would die with you. I'm so happy that I met you. Even if I wasn't a werewolf we would have met each other and fell in love. Sure, by then you kid could have already been two, but we still would have ended up together."

"Are you sure," was all I could say?

He laughed and hugged me to his chest, "It's the surest thing I can be sure of."

The rest of the time in the boat it wasn't heavy conversation, we shared a few kisses here and there and some getting a little more heated, but nothing too crazy.

"That was really fun, Paul," I said giving him a quick peck when he helped me out of the boat and onto the dock.

"Good, I have one more thing to show you," He said taking my hand, leading me pass his motorcycle.

We walked down the road and I could tell I would be cold if I didn't have Paul's super heat to warm me.

"Where are we going," I asked as we came up to his house, but we didn't go inside, but went into the backyard, to the garage.

"You will see," he said, pulling the old, paint chipped, garage door open.

He opened it and flicked on a switch. I didn't really notice anything, but saw an old Volkswagen Beetle in the middle of the garage. Powder blue paint chipping, seats patched up on the inside, and the headlights yellowed. It was the older model of the Beetle, not one of the newer ones I see driving around. Personally, I always loved the older model and always dreamed of having one of the small, cute, round, cars as my own. I always wanted my own car period and not having my parents able to say it's their car.

"Who's car," I asked, even though I figured it was Kim's, unless it was Jared, which I highly doubt.

"Yours," he smiled.

What?

"What?"

"It's yours. I built it and I got lucky that your favorite car was an inexpensive and easy build. It's yours, Alexia," he grinned, leading me over to it.

"Mine," I squeaked?

"Yes," he said, opening the door, "you said you wanted your own car, so here it is. Get in."

"You can Paul," I muttered, "You can't do this for me."

"I just did," he laughed, practically shoving me in the car.

"I love you, Paul," I gave him a long hard kiss, and allowed myself to be pushed into the car.

"I know," he smirked, "plus, I was able to build it so it can go faster for you."

"Thank you so much, Paul. You shouldn't have done this; I don't have anything for you. I'm so sorry-"

"Shut up," he grinned, "just love me and that's enough payment."

"I do, I love you," I reminded him.

o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o

"Where did you get that," Nathan asked me, when he saw me going to school the next morning?

"Paul gave it to me," I smirked, climbing into my car, "You can have the Kia all to yourself now."

"Who are you and why are you so happy," he laughed, "I haven't seen this excited since you were like seven?"

I shrugged, he was right. I haven't felt this carefree and just plain happy since as long as I can remember. It felt refreshing and so good.

"See you at school maybe," I said, closing the car door and drove off.

Maybe Logan was right, maybe everything will work out. We will all work everything out and everything will work out for the better.

o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o

My optimistic mood didn't last long.

When I got to school the stares were worse than ever, somebody even came up to me and asked why I was dating some guy in a gang.

I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about.

I learned though that Grace, my mom's boss's daughter, was talking with Arianna and together they joined forces and told the whole school that I was dating some riffraff in a gang.

"They are such bitches," Sadie said across from me at the lunch table.

I was munching on some goldfish because everything else seemed to give me heartburn, but even now I felt the acid building up. Nothing sounded great except a nice cold icee. That's what I want right now is an icee…

"-All they do is spread freaking rumors about everyone and Arianna doesn't even know what she's talking about. She has no right and what about Grace?"

I put my hand up to stop Sadie when I realized she was talking to me, "Calm down. I'm just trying to ignore it. I was in a great mood this morning, but now it feels like everything is going to come crashing down if I let myself feel what I really feel."

"Sorry," she muttered.

I nodded my head, I was done with everything. I just wanted everybody to shut up right about now. The whole lunch room seemed to be buzzing with my name and gang. It was putting my teeth on edge and I felt like a stick of dynamite already lit, just waiting for the wick to burn down.

"Hey Lex," Arianna came prancing over to our table.

_Lord, help me._

"What Arianna," I growled?

"I just wanted to see how you're doing," she tilted her head to the side, her blond, highlighted hair falling to the side with her head.

"Great, all thanks to you," I put on the fake smile that I hadn't put on in a while, but I was oh so good at.

"Good, I'm sorry to hear that your boyfriend is in a gang," her sickly sweet voice coated with sarcasm.

She knew everything; she knew_ exactly_ what she is doing. Now I just had to find out how I should play this game that she signed me up for.

I stood up from my seat leaning my hands against the table to look at her over Sadie's head. My huge fake smile still in place, I let it go a bit wider.

"Yes, he is in a gang and I suggest if you want to let your air headed little brain keep having oxygen then I suggest you back off. Or, my boyfriend and his gang could pay you and your fake boobs a visit, got it," I asked, letting venom coat my words?

Her smile faltered a bit, she started the game, she wasn't going to let down.

"If you want you brother to be kept sane and find out some of his dirty little secrets then I suggest you shut up," she tried, but failed.

It was worrisome what she knew about Nathan. Who knows what he's told her, she could have some bad stuff on him, I had to be careful, but really? She suggest I shut up?

"You could take your own suggestion, Arianna," I smirked, sitting back down.

She gave me one last smile before stomping back off, people at tables turning their heads just now realizing something was happening under their watchful eyes. They looked back at me and I smiled at all of them, returning back to crunching the goldfish crackers.

* * *

**I posted this chapter I think early because I felt like it. I hope you read the note at the top and if you didn't well, your probably not reading this either. Thank you so much for the reviews and continuing with me, it's been a bit too slow for me... REVIEW and tell me what you think? Thank you for reading!**

**~AlwaysConfusedArtist~**


	12. Full Moon

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight in any shape or form.**

* * *

My back hurt, I couldn't sleep, everything that could go wrong was happening. I just wanted to be at home in my bed, away from everyone annoying me. Even Paul was annoying me, that's bad. Everyone's voice talking to me was like nails on a chalkboard. Being twenty-seven weeks pregnant was not fun.

"Alexia I need talk to you," my mom called out to me as I passed her office after coming home from school.

I sighed and went into her office. She pointed at the black leather chairs in front of her cherry wood desk and I sat down on the one on the left.

"Yeah," I muttered, picking at my nails?

She sighed and clasped her hands on the desk, "We have some things to discuss."

"What kind of things?"

"Everything, you're still seeing that Paul, correct," her blue eyes showed that they could really care less, but I could tell that one thing gets under her skin. It bugs her I'm going against her wishes now, I always obeyed before.

"Yes," I stated.

"Logan moved out of his parents' house," she said.

"Yes."

"He will have contact with the child," she seemed so cold, like this wasn't her daughter and grandchild she was talking about.

"Yes," I sighed, scooting myself further down in the chair.

"You will still be living here when the baby is born?"

So this is what she was getting at? She couldn't just ask me? Does she even want me living in this house with my baby or does she want me to move out so she can just deny all evidence of my existence. Well, I don't have any means of moving. I am poor unlike Logan.

"Yes, until I am eighteen, when you can force me out, right," I asked her?

She cocked her head to the side, smoothing back her already perfect blond bun, "So we understand each other?"

This wasn't daughter versus mother anymore. This was a whole new concept; she didn't consider me her child anymore. I was some disappointment living in her house without a cause to give to the world. She wasn't connected to me anymore.

"Yes," I said.

"Good," she nodded her head.

I pushed myself up from the chair by the arms; it wasn't easy getting up with a giant pregnant belly anymore. I headed towards the double doors and was about to leave when she called back to me.

"Oh and Alexia," she said.

I turned back around her looked at her. Her eyes were still cold and hard, but I could see something else behind it, something if you haven't know her for as long as me, then you wouldn't be able to see it. She was sad, she was never sad.

"Your father and I are getting a divorce."

"What," my thoughts came out?

They were getting a divorce? Why? They don't spend time together, but that's been going on since I was seven, why choose now to get a divorce?

"I will talk to you and Nathan together later," she gulped, letting her eyes fall to her hands on the desk.

This was all wrong. She looked like she was falling apart; I was the one who should be falling apart. It's all backwards, I fall apart and she stays strong and firm in her words.

"I'm going to Paul's," I needed to get away from her, I needed to think.

She didn't say anything, but nodded and quickly started fumbling through papers sporadically pulling things out.

I was about to close the doors behind me, but turned around, "I'm sorry Mom," I whispered.

I didn't know if she heard me at first, but she nodded her head.

I closed the doors and went straight back out to my car, leaving my mom to slowly fall apart. She was crumbling like a tired building. She stood strong for so long, she was just now starting to crumble and if her crumbling was doing this to me, I didn't want to stick around for the collapse.

o-0-o-0-o

I knocked hesitatingly on the door of Paul's house, feeling very awkward and out of place.

Kim answered, her black hair pulled up in a messy ponytail and oversized sweatshirt I was guessing was Jared's.

"Alexia, what are you doing here," her big brown eyes were confused?

"Um, is Paul here," I shifted my weight.

"No, he's on patrol," Kim opened up the door wider, "Come on it."

I walked in the familiar little house, it was messy. Not dirty, just messy. Books cluttered the coffee table, a video game stack that looked like it once used to be neat, was now spread out all over the floor in front of the television. A fresh mug of what looked like to be tea was steaming in the center of the books.

"Sorry, I feel like I'm interrupting something," I said, about to make my way back to the door, but she grabbed my arm.

"No, I was just studying for this upcoming test. I don't like staying in the house by myself, especially when you and I both know what most people think are just stories are out there," she said, dragging me by my arm to go sit on the couch.

She was right; I freaked out when Paul told me about the cold ones, vampires. I try not to think about it, but when I do I get an icy chill run through my body. Paul assured me with great passion that he wasn't going to let one get near me, not even close enough that I could tell it was a vampire.

"I didn't know you go to school," I mumbled.

"Well, it's community college nothing big. Jared and I made a compromise that we would stay in La Push a couple of more years and we will get an apartment together close to Washington State," she picked up the steaming mug, "Do you want some."

"No thank you," I sat back in the couch, "So how long do these patrols go for?"

She shrugged, "It depends, and they should be here soon they."

I nodded and watched her as she organized books, "How old are you Kim?"

She smirked, "Isn't there are rule against asking a lady their age?"

I laughed, "Well, you age can't offend you that much, your young, so it doesn't count."

"True," she laughed, "I'm twenty."

"Is Jared twenty?"

"Paul hasn't told you his age has he," she laughed again, setting down the book that was in her hands.

"It just hasn't come up…"

"Oh my gosh! I'm going to have a talk with Paul," she held onto her stomach as she laughed, "He's twenty-two and so is Paul."

Paul's twenty-two? That's not bad; he's only five years older than me… Then, why didn't he tell me?

"Why wouldn't he tell me his age," I asked her?

"For one, your relationship is illegal," she giggled, "but isn't thrilling to know your committing a crime?"

She's a little bit too thrilled about our relationship being illegal, "I didn't know before, but it doesn't feel any different."

"Just don't get caught," she held up a finger, "another thing is Paul probably thought it would freak you out if I know Paul. Since he freaks out over every little thing, he thinks everybody else will freak."

I raised a confused eyebrow, "He doesn't freak out over little things."

"Yeah, when he's with you he doesn't. For example, the other day Jared ate his last box of lemonheads and it was the end of the world," she shook her head and laughed.

"Will he be mad that you told me," I asked?

She shrugged, "I don't know, if he is, it's on me and I don't really care if he's mad at me or not."

"Woah! Woah, hold up! There's a chick party happening without me," Jared put his hands up, blocking Paul from coming through the doorway.

"There is no party, Jared," Kim smirked at him.

"So you two weren't having some sort of hot make-out session without us," he asked, stumbling forward as Paul pushed him.

"No Jared, in your dreams," she frowned at him, but a small smirk was forming across her face.

"You got that right," he laughed, heading straight towards the kitchen.

She shook her head at me, "Boys."

"Men," Jared shouted from the kitchen!

She rolled her eyes and picked up a book, "He doesn't realize he proved my point," she whispered.

"Heard that," came Jared's voice again.

"Now, be honest, Alexia," Paul asked, pulling me onto his bare chest when he sat down next to me, "There wasn't anything important that happened while we were gone from this house?"

I raised an eyebrow at him, "You're such a pig, but no."

"Why are you here then, not that I'm not happy," he asked, I could feel his chin moving on top of my head as he spoke?

"My parents are getting a divorce," I mumbled into his warm russet skin.

"What," he pulled me away from his body, not realizing that's all I wanted, all playfulness leaving his face.

"She didn't say why, but I couldn't stick around there any longer. She's not herself, she's sad Paul," I muttered, trying to weave my way back to his chest to cover my face.

"Wait," he still held me away, "that's reasonable that she's sad. You don't have to worry about that, I'm worrying for you-"

"She's never sad Paul. You wouldn't get it," I said, pulling myself up from the couch.

I almost fell back on the couch as I was trying to get up, but Paul's hands were there helping me up. He stood up with me, grabbing both of my hands in his.

"Tell me so I will get it," he pleaded.

"She's supposed to be the strong one, not me. She's not supposed to fall apart, I am" I could feel my throat clogging, but I went one, "She's supposed to be the one telling me what is wrong and what is right and I'm supposed to obey no matter what happens."

"That's could though, Alexia," he shook my hands, "You're strong. The stuff she was telling you was all wrong; you know what's wrong and right."

"I can't go against her if she's falling apart, Paul. That's worse than going against her when she's all together and as strong as me, at least we were even then. I can't do that," I shook my head, warm tears falling down my face.

"It's okay, Alexia," he said, finally pulling me into his chest, "It will work out. She will work it out by herself, she's an adult. You just worry about yourself."

"Where's the popcorn," I heard Jared asked Kim?

"Jared," she whispered-yelled, followed by the sound of a slap.

I smiled; at least someone in the world was happy.

"I swear, you have no filter," Kim shook her head at him.

He shrugged, "Probably not, usually when you have a dick as-"

"Jared," she shouted and slapped him again!

"I'm going to drive Alexia home," Paul said.

"Okay, see you later Alexia! Don't be kissing Kim anymore without me in the room," Jared shouted at me as I walked out!

Kim slapped him once again, "Come back soon Alexia! I want to see you again before you burst. Oh and sorry about Jared, he's a moron, don't listen to him."

I nodded and said goodbye to the both of them, tear marks staining my cheeks, but I still cracked a smile at them.

o-0-o-0-o

"This jackass is really getting on my nerves," Paul hissed under his breath as he looked in the rearview mirror.

I looked back the car was following really close behind. Paul was going over the speed limit on this little back road, pitch-black out, a small two lane road, double yellow lines.

"Ignore them," I sighed, situating myself further back in my seat, I was just extremely tired and wanted to go to bed.

I heard a weird animalistic growl sound under his breath. True, it freaked me out a bit, but I was too tired to care. I could already feel my heavy eyelids bowing down to sleep.

A loud honk sounded, waking me right back up.

"Paul," I hissed, as I noticed his hand slamming on the horn.

"Sorry, they're really pissing me off," he ground his teeth together.

The headlight of the car flashed on us and I noticed how ridged his strong jaw was locked. His grey eyes could be almost red with fury, maybe they could be a lightning cloud in the sky by the way his eyes were flaming.

This was really making him that mad? I get tailgated all the time, but you just ignore them. Just because they don't follow the rules of the road doesn't mean I'm not going to.

_So this is what Kim was talking about?_

This wasn't something to get that upset over; maybe this is one of his over-reacting moments.

I was jolted forward when Paul slammed on his brakes, the car behind us following right after, coming inches away from hitting the car.

After being jolted back, I was flung back in my seat when Paul pressed his foot hard down on the gas pedal.

I didn't register it 'till then of what was happening, but somewhere along the lines words formed in my mouth.

"Paul!"

"What," he asked through gritted teeth, still accelerating?

"What are you doing," I gasped, watching the trees blur past us?

"Driving," he growled.

"Slow down," I used a calmer voice now.

"No."

He was never so cold to me. He never talked to me that way. Why was everyone going completely out of character today?

A high screeching came up behind us, the person in the car getting in the other lane. A Volkswagen Beetle was racing a BMW, a nice BMW at that.

"Paul," I tried again.

No answer, his rigid face kept on the road.

My heart starting pounding in my chest, adrenaline coursing through my veins quickly, I was getting scared.

Paul turned the steering wheel a bit at the same time the other person turned. The two cars slid against each other without a noise, but I felt the sudden bump.

"Paul, stop."

No answer.

I looked out the window and gasped as I felt the car lurch, moving over to the other side of the road, the phone poles looking awfully close.

"Paul," I whispered, fright taking over my voice.

"Shit," he muttered, he turned the steering wheel almost on impulse harder the other way.

He must of overdid it a too much because the next thing I knew we slid the other car against the side of the road, both drivers pushing on the brakes. We came to a stop on the side of the road and watched as the BMW slammed into a telephone pole on the side, both cars finally coming to a complete stop.

Paul opened up the car door, slamming it behind him, leaving the glass rattling in its frame.

I was shocked.

The other person in the car got out of the car, both of them storming after the other.

I got out of the car, knowing I couldn't do much, but I wasn't about to sit in the car and just watch.

"Paul," I shouted, he was going to kill someone!

"What do you think you're doing you asshole," Paul stormed at the guys inspecting his car.

"Paul, please stop," I called, running after him.

Paul came to a sudden halt, his whole frame freezing.

"Black," Paul asked?

"Paul," the driver laughed?

A woman, not just anymore, got out of the car. She looked inhumanly beautiful, you could even tell in the dark, the only lights coming off of my car. It was weird how gorgeous she was, it was almost like how Paul described vampires…

"What the hell were you doing," he asked?

The guy laughed, "Well, we were stuck behind some loser that drove like a granny."

"So, you thought it was okay to race us?"

"Who's us," the guy asked, looking back at me?

"This is Alexia."

I walked the two steps to Paul's side.

"The Alexia," the guy smiled at me, "It's an honor to meet the one and freaking only Alexia Grey."

He reached for my hand and I shook it. I guessed by the heat of his hand that he was a werewolf.

"Whatever, Black," Paul muttered, "You almost killed her and she's pregnant. How about you and your little bloodsucker be more careful next time."

"Yeah, I can see," He looked at my stomach, "You already got her pregnant, Paul? I knew you were a bad boy and everything-"

"It's not mine," Paul growled.

Jacob smiled and had the same face on that Jared had when he asked about the popcorn, "Well, I'm Jacob by the way and this is Nessie." He gestured to the girl that looked around fourteen or fifteen.

"Hello, Paul, Alexia," she said, her twinkling chandelier voice matching her face perfectly, "And for future references, Paul, I don't accept the turn bloodsucker."

"Well, you used to call me mutt," he smirked.

"I learned that from my Uncle and I don't use that term anymore," she crossed her arms over the back of the car.

"Yeah, ever since you've been in puppy dog love with Jacob," he guffawed.

"I don't have puppy dog love," she growled, she was little, but she scared me when she did that.

Paul didn't look the least worried, "Oh, that's right. You read all of the romance crap your mom used to read. So you have some undying love for him, right?"

She stood up straight from the car and crossed her arms over her chest defensively, "Jacob can we go."

"Sure, Ness," Jacob laughed.

"I'm not in love with you Jacob, I hope you know that," Nessie muttered.

"Of course not! Your dad would have my head anyways," Jacob went and gave Nessie a quick hug.

It was painfully obvious that she had a crush on Jacob. It broke my heart; I remember having crushes and getting teased. I could swear I felt the heat rush off of her cheeks as his arms wrapped around her, her arms still crossed and everything.

"Do you want me to fix your car," Jacob asked pulling away from a scarlet Nessie?

"No, I can do it," Paul said, "I got to get Alexia home before she falls down and sleeps on the side of the road."

Jacob laughed, "Alright, talk to me more man! Hope to see you again, Alexia."

"Yeah, like all we do is fight when we're together, Black," Paul laughed.

"Whatever," Jacob laughed.

"Bye Alexia, it was lovely meeting you," she smiled at me before going to the passenger side of the car.

"I don't get a bye, Ness," Paul called?

She closed the door behind her.

"Bye Nessie," he shouted though laughed!

"Nice job, Lahote. Now she's going to be pissed," Jacob groaned.

Paul shrugged, "She needs to face the facts that she gets all dreamy eyed at you, even if she hears your name."

"Whatever, Paul," Jacob sighed, getting in the car.

We walked back to the scrapped up Volkswagen, Jacob peeling out, and dirt flying everywhere.

I shook my head at Paul as I climbed in the car, "I now know what Kim was talking about."

"What did she say," Paul asked, putting the keys in the ignition?

"She told me you overreact a lot when I'm not around."

"Really," he asked raising an eyebrow, "what else did she say about me?"

"I want to talk about how you wrecked my car," I said, watching as he pulled out of the side of the road, slower than he really needed.

"Hey, I can fix that easily. What else were you and Kim talking about?"

"She told me your age, which I suspiciously realized I didn't know," I said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, you know my age, but why don't I know yours?"

"Do I know your age," he smirked at me, taking his eyes off of the road for a second?

"Yes, Paul you do," I sighed.

"What is it again?"

"I'm seventeen and today I learned you're twenty-two."

There was a long pause between us; the only sound was the car tires rolling against the road that was in a desperate need to be re-paved.

"Does that bother you," he asked?

I shook my head and laughed, "No, it kind of cool that I have an older guy. Does it bother you?"

He laughed too and glanced at me before turning back to the road, "No, I think it's kind of hot actually."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "You know it's illegal too?"

"No, but know that I know, it's hotter," he laughed

"You're such a pig, Paul," I laughed at him.

"The correct term is wolf, but that's alright," he smiled.

"Oh and you should also be nicer to Nessie, you don't know what it's like to be a girl at that age," I smiled.

"Thank God too," he laughed, "You know what Nessie is?"

"A vampire," I guessed, but she didn't really seem like how I imagined one, she wasn't pale white like one and she didn't scare me as much as I thought?

"Half vampire and half human," he grinned at my confused face, "Her mom got pregnant with her when she was still human. A human had sex with a vampire. I know right, that's disgusting!"

My mind couldn't really wrap around that though, a vampire and a human together? Well, I guess I did have sex with a werewolf, but at least he's alive, a vampire isn't alive.

"Her mom got turned into a vampire when she was giving birth because she was dying," he went on and then muttered to more himself, "She must be into weird kinky shit."

It was quiet for a second after, but I looked at Paul out of the corner of my eye and couldn't help bursting out laughing.

"You know I'm right," he smirked.

o-0-o-0-o

We pulled up to my house to see not what I expected.

Mom stood on the porch, her red silk robe wrapped tightly around her and Dad standing there with a younger girl, holding onto her hand.

No, this can't be happening. This can't be real, this can't happen, everything slowly falling in pieces, our perfect family showing our true colors.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath as Paul parked the car, "You can leave if you want."

He shook his head and opened the door, getting out with me.

"You can't do this to me, Luke," Mom's words broke on coming out.

"Scarlett, please don't do this. We both know it wasn't going to work," He sighed.

"You didn't have to bring a slut to the house," she gritted her teeth together.

"I thought you would be asleep," he muttered.

Paul took my hand as we made our way up to the front door.

"So you thought you bringing this whore here when I was asleep would be okay," she screeched?

"Alright, I've had enough of you calling me names, Scarlett," the young girl said, taking her hand out of Dad's.

Wait, I remembered her. She's one of the usual nurses Dad works with, how cliché. Her names Meghan, she was a total bitch to me when she met me to be fair.

"You have no right talking to be, Meghan," and apparently Mom remembered her too, "Is this what working late means to you, Luke?"

Dad sighed and ran a hand down his face, "Can we please talk about this later, and I'll take Meghan home."

I saw it coming, but Paul saw it first. Girls have this weird thing where one little look can mean so much and Meghan gave Mom one of the worst I have seen in my whole high school career. Mom flew down the steps, ready to attack a ready Meghan.

Paul seized her around her waist and held her back as she tried to pull away from him.

I couldn't believe the sight I saw, Mom crying. Tears streamed down her face and something even worse, her perfect blond bun wasn't so perfect anymore. Blond hair flew around her face as she pounded on Paul's arms, hysterical words and sobs coming from her.

Dad was already backed out of the driveway and was halfway down the street, when Paul let mom slowly fall to her knees.

She wasn't coherent. We stood there watching, not knowing what to do. She just sat there on the cold sidewalk to the front door, rocking herself back and forth. This was the collapse, she finally broke.

Eventually, Paul picked her up and she didn't even more, just stayed limp, and stayed lifeless. He carried her into her bedroom and I realized I haven't been in here since I was little, running in here from the nightmares until they told me I was too old.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Paul," I said when we closed the door to her bedroom.

He laughed and emotionless laugh, "I'm sorry _you_ had to see that."

I smiled at him, but I had a feeling it came out empty like how I felt.

"I'll go," he muttered, making his way to the stairs.

I grabbed his arm, holding him back, "Don't go."

I pulled him by his arm to my room, closing my own door behind me and wondering where Nathan was when I passed his door.

I ended up curling up next to Paul's bare chest, he took off his t-shirt, and it lies next to the bed. I still had my sweatpants and sweatshirt still on from going to school today. I didn't care though; I just tried not to think about anything. I just wanted to sleep; I wanted nothing more to just sleep. I let my mind just feel like a buzz of nothing 'till my eyes started falling.

The last sight I saw before falling asleep was the full moon. That's why everybody was acting so weird today, it was a full moon.

* * *

**How was it? Thank you for all of the reviews! They all mean so much to me and make me write faster from all the encouragement! I get things that say that they think it's weird she got pregnant, but have you read Breaking Dawn? She's not pregnant with something that is going to eat her alive! I can't help what the characters do, I just see it and write it, simple as that. Thanks for reading and keep up with the REVIEWS!**

**~AlwaysConfusedArtist~**


	13. Worries

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight**

* * *

I looked out over a sea of fire, Mom right smack dab in the center of it. My skin burned as I tried to get near her, feeling my skin get singed, I thought I would let out an ear piercing shriek, but nothing came out of my open mouth. Mom was going farther down, flinging her arms around as she drowned. I tried to go over to her, but I couldn't, I would die myself.

Her head ducked under and she didn't come back up. I screamed and fell to my knees, letting sobs rack through my body.

A practically big sob flung my body and my eyes shot open.

I gasped when I realized I was burning up, my clothes damp with sweat. Snoring filled my ear as I turned my head and saw Paul's blissful face, mouth agape.

I couldn't help, but smile at his peaceful face, looking like a baby. I could never sleep that well.

His arms wrapped around my large belly, holding me tight to him. My back no doubt stuck to his stomach, my sweat acting as glue.

_How romantic._ I thought to myself.

"Paul," I whispered, looking at the time on the clock, it was almost time for school to start.

He didn't move and inch and his snoring was still even.

"Paul," I said, nudging him.

"What," he mumbled.

I laughed, "We have to get up."

He shook his head and let his face fall back into the pillow, "No."

"You're acting like a child, Paul. Now we have to get up," I tried to pry his arms off of me.

It didn't do a damn thing.

"Alexia, just go back to sleep," he muttered, his eyes still closed.

"Paul," I whined.

He didn't answer and I watched as his breath became shallower.

I shook my head and took a deep breath. I rolled over in his arms so I was facing his side as he was on his back now. With his arms still tightly around me, I put one leg over his side, rolling myself up, with much difficultly, but still managed to get myself to straddle his stomach.

I smirked, one of his eyes opened, "What are you doing?"

"Paul," I sung, leaning over my round stomach to get closer to him, my legs bending under me, "we have to get up."

He shook his head, no.

I nodded my head, "Yes, Paul we do."

He switched his arms that were locked behind my back, to hold onto my waist, "No."

I thought he would say that. I leaned down the inch more and took his bottom lip into my mouth, slowly dragging my tongue along the bottom of it and bit it before releasing it.

A deep moan came from the back of his throat and mixed with a growl as I dragged my tongue across it.

I felt his grip on me loosen, that's exactly what I wanted. I took the small window and climbed off of him as fast as a pregnant girl could.

He pouted his red swollen lip and I smiled an evil grin at him.

I was going to be late for school, but I didn't care, as long as I was going right. I just hope to God that Mom went to her office today in Seattle instead of working from home.

I picked out some clean clothes along the way to the bathroom to take a shower. The clothes on me stuck to me and I wanted desperately to have the scalding water warm me back up.

When I finally got in the shower, I lathered my hair of with shampoo and massaged it into my scalp. The soap swirled around into the drain with all of my thoughts and like last night, I let everything buzz together until there was nothing, my mind just an empty buzz.

I pulled on a pair of loose fitting jeans and a t-shirt, slipping sox on.

_God, I really didn't feel like going to school today._

Paul was looking around my room, his t-shirt back on. He picked up a picture frame of Dad, Mom, Nathan, and me all posing with a plain backdrop. All of us had on perfectly white pressed button up shirts, Nathan and Dad had black ties on. On every single one of our faces was a fake smile planted perfectly there. I was about twelve at the time, when I was awkward and all gangly; my long legs made me look like a stork.

"Mom had family portraits done every year, but it stopped because everyone was too busy," I laughed, remembering the first year we didn't have one, Dad had to work late and Nathan had football practice.

He picked up the other one beside it; I was six going into first grade. We all sat down by the water and Nathan was throwing a rock into the water at the background and my hair was flying all over the place in the wind, crying because I was denied ice cream. Dad was trying to comfort me by showing me a rock and Mom stood in the background hands on her hips, smiling. My dad's mom, Grandma Margret, took the picture.

"That was the last summer before my mom got promoted," I smiled at our faces.

None of us were pretending. We weren't trying to be something we're not. We didn't have to keep up a fake façade of being perfect.

"You ready to go," he asked, looking over me?

"I guess," I sighed, going to pick-up my backpack in my closet.

"Weren't you the one seducing me to let you out of bed," he laughed behind me.

"Well, I don't want to go, but I have to," I mumbled and growled under my breath as I couldn't reach my backpack on the ground, my bulging stomach blocking me, "Dammit."

Warmth engulfed my back and I gasped, Paul's arm reaching around me, picking it up off the ground. I grabbed it out of his hands, still not turning around.

"You could stay here with me," he whispered into my ear, "I could stay with you."

Each word he said was like a gush of cold wind, but it was hot, but it sent thrilling shivers convulse down my spine.

"I-I can't," I muttered, why wouldn't I turn around?

"Are you sure," he asked, running his hands slowly down my arms?

They slowly ran down my arms, oh so slowly, just his fingertips lightly grazing over my skin. Just that gesture sent me into a pool on the ground, but when he let his fingers go slightly up under my shirt, sliding his fingers over my hip bones, I was vapor floating in the air.

I gasped and pulled out of my stupor, turning around in his arms. A smirk was painted on his face, such a mischievous smirk. Even that smirk made my heart pound in my chest.

"No, no, I am going to school," I grabbed my backpack tighter and threw it around on my back.

I heard him following as I clumped down the steps and smiled that he wasn't going to try anything anymore. I stopped short in the doorway of the kitchen, Paul bumping into my back.

"Why aren't you at school," Mom asked, sipping on a cup of coffee, paper in hand.

She was even more robotic this morning and her bun was back in its perfect uniform, her black suit clean of all wrinkles. She didn't even look at me to show me how her eyes blue eyes burned at me, she had a complete poker face on under all of her perfectly applied make-up.

"I woke up late," I said, looking over at her cautiously.

She took a sip and nodded her head. Nothing. She wasn't going to scream at me? She wasn't going to call me a disappointment? She wasn't going to tell me that I'm a terrible child for not following any of her rules, I don't obey.

"I'll go to school now," I tried to pull her out of whatever she's in.

She nodded, "I woke up late too. I'm going to go to the office."

She stood up, folding the paper nicely, poured the rest of her coffee in a traveling mug, grabbed her keys of the keychain rack, and left.

I watched in disbelief, she didn't even stay here to see that I actually go to school. She woke up late? To top it all off, Paul was here. Who knows what she would have done if Paul was here before all of this, she would probably call the cops.

"Paul," I mumbled, hearing the sound of the garage door opening.

"Yeah," he asked, still right behind me, his stomach touching my back?

"I don't want to go to school anymore," I muttered.

"Come on," he grabbed the keys from my hand and took my hand in his.

o-0-o-0-o

"Paul," I wondered, my head lying on his big furry body?

I looked around the forest and when I say forest I mean we were really in the middle of the forest. We took my car and drove to some park Paul knew about. We left the mossy trail right next to a sign that said to stay on the path, ironic. In the middle of the forest, he changed and I grabbed his clothes putting them in my knitted purse. He ran far into the woods, heading straight towards the mountains.

He grumbled and I took it that he was listening.

"Is it weird to you that I'm pregnant," I looked at his big grey head lying on his paws.

He picked up his head and rolled his eyes, shaking his head no.

"But according to this imprint stuff-"

He turned his head even more so to look at me with a questioning look.

"I did some research," I said, not at all ashamed, he didn't go into detail about it so I thought I would find out about myself. The internet was very helpful.

He laughed a throaty wolf laugh, shaking his head and lying his head back down.

"Well, according to this imprint stuff, we will be together forever, soul mates. Then it said something about mates and mates in the animal, well mate and has kids with each other. So, do you still want me to have you babies even though I already will have one," I questioned?

He nodded his head at me.

"Is it weird that I won't be the only person you have a kid with, my first kid will be not yours Paul?"

He took a big deep breath before he shook his head no, he wasn't telling the truth.

I got on my knees and crawled over next to his head, looking him right in the eyes, "Tell me the truth, Paul. Does it bother you?"

He didn't make any sign, but kept on staring into my eyes.

"Paul, I want to know. I have to know what bothers you, I need to know. I tell you things that bug me; you have to let me in your head sometimes too, Paul. Does it bother you?"

He hesitated again, but this time he nodded his head yes.

"I'm sorry Paul," I muttered, running my hand through his coarse hair on his head.

He shook his head and suddenly stood up, his humongous wolf standing like a horse over me. He nudged at my bag with his nose and I got the message. I pulled out his clothes and he opened his mouth for me to put them in.

He trotted away enough that he had room to phase. Why hide when we already have seen each other naked and more? I didn't turn around though; I stayed on my knees on the forest floor, the cold getting me from the producer of my warmth.

I felt the air change around me as his mass changed into a lighter form.

"See, Alexia," I heard him pulling on clothes, "That's exactly what I didn't want. I don't want you to worry about me, you have enough to worry about, and I can take care of myself."

I got up and brushed myself off the best I could, "Paul, I want to know everything about you."

"You don't need to have all of my shit put over your head too," he sighed.

I walked up closer to him, "We need to help each other with our problems. It shouldn't just be about me."

"No, that's not how it goes. You don't worry about me," he ran a hand through his inky black hair.

"You don't understand that even when you don't tell me your problems, I worry even more because I worry about why you won't tell me."

"I told you why, so know you know that I can handle it," he gritted his teeth together, forcing ever letter hissing through his clenched teeth.

I furrowed my eyebrows, "I want to help you too, Paul. You've already helped me so much, that I probably would have been dead by now if it wasn't for you. I want to help you too," I reached to grab his arm, but he pulled it back.

He breathed out a giant breath, it flowing across my face, "You don't understand I don't need-"

"You don't need me Paul? Is that it? Your just supposed to care about me and I just sit back doing nothing? You need me to help you too-"

"I can handle it," he growled.

"Clearly you can't Paul because you wouldn't have issues then. I want to help-"

"I don't need your help," he yelled!

I stepped back shocked, I could feel heat in my eyes and the blurry indication of tears. I couldn't cry, that's showing him the entire poof he needs, I'm weak. I can barely handle my own problems, how would I handle knowing someone else's, but that's not the point. We we're supposed to help carry each other's problems; they're supposed to both of our problems, not his and not mine, both.

"Your problems are mine, Paul and mine are yours," I said through my constricted throat, tears falling down my face one at a time.

He looked at me his face still red and tense, he didn't say anything, just looked at me with his grey eyes.

I didn't know what to do after a while; we just started at each other, neither saying anything. I wanted him so desperately to say anything, anything at all, but we just stared. His eyes held mine to his in such a way I couldn't look away.

Next thing I knew, Paul pinned me up to the tree directly behind me, his arms holding mine above my head. He leaned his head on mine and his arms resting against the tree.

"You can't possibly believe that shit," he whispered.

"Were equal, Paul. I can't just order you around like a puppy dog and make you take care of all of our problems," I whispered, just as quiet as him.

"You can and you will," he flashed his white teeth at me.

"No. If I learned one thing from you, Paul, it was that I have to have a say in things," I smiled back at him, he did teach me that I had to take action in things that were bugging me.

He sighed, "You can't handle my problems too."

I cocked my head to the side, "Try me."

"It goes against every fiber of my being to tell you what's wrong because then it will upset you," he whispered even quieter this time, but leaned into my face.

"Try something easy," I tried him.

He smiled and I knew that he wasn't really going to tell me his problems, but later, not in the middle of the woods. He would tell me soon, but just not right now.

"Well, the first thing is I love you way too much," he grinned.

I rolled my eyes, I would get him later, "And how can I help with that, my Paul?"

"You can just forget calling me my Paul again because that makes my heart so much more."

"Okay, anything else?"

"I could show you how much I love you, that could help," he smirked his mischievous smile.

I gasped, "Paul Lahote, you will do no such thing in the middle of the woods."

His evil little grin grew wider, "You want to bet."

o-0-o-0-o

I looked at Nathan and he looked back at me giving me a questioning look. I shrugged too, what else was there more to tell? Mom stood in front of the couch Nathan and I sat on, her arms crossed over her chest and her pursed bright lips applied perfectly. Dad stood a on the in front of the couch on the other side, hands on his hips, his sports jacket getting pushed back.

"As you both know, your father and I are getting a divorce," she said in a monotone voice, her business voice.

Nathan and I both just stared back at them.

Dad cleared his throat and shuffled his feet, "I'm going to live with Meghan."

"We are going to sell this house since it won't be affordable to me afterwards."

They acted so calm. They acted like none of this was actually happening to them, that's what they spoke as. We were all speaking about another family, this wasn't us. They were emotionally pulled out of it.

Dad went on, "I will be staying with Meghan from now on, you both are more than welcome to come over."

Yeah right, when hell freezes over.

"Nathan will be at college this year anyways," Mom said.

_Yeah, going all the way to Michigan to the University of Michigan to study to be an engineer._

We get hit with the divorce of our parents and now we are being moved out of our childhood home.

"As soon as this house is sold, I will be getting another house, but it won't be as big as this one."

_Well, two guest bedrooms wasn't really necessary in the first place._

o-0-o-0-o

Papers were signed extremely fast, the for sale sign in front of the house now read that it was sold, what else now?

I was thirty-two weeks pregnant now; huge is my answer to how far along I am. My back ached and I couldn't sleep and could never get in a position that I'm comfortable in. The only time I got any sleep was when Paul was off of patrol and he would run here. I let him in through the backdoor; everybody would be asleep by then anyway. I was already pregnant, so what's the worst that could happen.

I saw Mom as much as I saw Dad, Nathan sometimes wouldn't even come home.

We were moved into a cheap white generic house in a new neighborhood. No backyard and you could give your neighbor a high five out the window. I know, I tried with this guy at school I knew. He thinks its hilarious the perfect Grey family finally came unglued, I told him I was waiting myself. He smokes weed, so I never really knew his crowd, but he said he was getting himself together.

My room was still painted a clean white with cream colored carpet. Nothing was hung up, the only thing that showed I was living in there bed and my dresser. I had bought a crib with Dad and Mom chipping in, surprising? I know. It's a just a sweet simple white wood crib that later on and be converted into a toddler bed. products/kendall-petite-fixed-gate-crib/?cm_src=AutoRel Sadie helped me buy some yellow printed bedding and I did have some money I could spend that in fact, I saved up from birthdays. products/georgia-nursery-bedding/?pkey=bgirls-nursery-bedding It was simple, but it worked. A plain white basinet sat in the empty corner of my room. I learned very quickly that a baby wasn't cheap. I wished that I did have money to buy her everything, but I couldn't.

I don't have a job and I can't really plan on getting one, so I don't know how I'm going to buy everything. That's what's worrying me most at this point.

I shook myself out of it and looked at the clock at my bedside, 11:47 p.m. Paul was going to be here around midnight. I figured I would go and wait for him in the kitchen rather than kill myself with my own thoughts.

I sat down at the small round table in the kitchen and watched the green numbers on the microwave flick by. I couldn't let my mind wonder away or I would start thinking bad thoughts and I would have a panic attack.

A soft rapt on the glass sliding door turned my head around to see Paul, the light from the patio glinting off of his teeth.

I smiled back at him and went to slide the door open. He gave me a quick peck on my lips and took me by my hand, leading me into my own bedroom.

He silently walked us over to my bed, picking me up and putting me in bed. He climbed in by my side, still in only his basketball shorts. He surprised me when he leaned over me, kissing me with more passion than at the door.

I let him kiss me at his will, until his hand started roaming. I brought his hand back up to my face and he actually growled at me.

"Paul, I wanted to talk to you," I muttered, but I couldn't really think about what I wanted to talk about at that moment with his lips caressing my neck.

"Then talk," he said, his voice husky.

I tried to gather my thoughts, but I couldn't with where this was going.

"Paul, please," I whined, his lips going farther down.

He sighed and looked up at me, "What's the matter."

"I'm worried about everything," I mumbled, "money more specifically."

"Alexia, it will all work out-"

"Everybody needs to stop telling me it will all work out," I sighed, running my hands down my weary face.

He pulled himself back up and leaned his head against the iron headboard, "It will trust me."

"You don't know that," I mumbled, looking up into his grey eyes just visible enough with the moon.

"Alexia," he smiled at me, "I got it handled."

"Please don't start that again," I groaned.

He pulled me down with him until I was curled up on my side and he wrapped his body around mine make a shell for my body. He pushed his arm under my head and I let my head fall on it as a warm pillow, my hand gripping his.

"Go to sleep," he whispered into my ear.

I let the blanket ball up between my legs; this was the only way I could actually get any real sleep. His warm comforting body wrapped around me and something between my legs. I fell asleep in a dreaming slumber, but woke up with drool on my face and more importantly, Paul's arm. He could care less, but it grossed me out.

o-0-o-0-o

"Why are we here, Paul," I sighed as we came up to a wooden cabin, snugged nicely into the trees?

"You'll see," he muttered, helping me up the steps.

He opened the door to a crowd packed room yelling, "Surprise!"

I jumped back a little, but Paul's hand kept me steady.

"It's not my birthday," was the only thing I could say, the room was mostly packed with guys large like Paul, but I was glad to see Jared and Kim in the crowd.

"I know that," Paul laughed.

A woman with exotic beauty came over, her hair reaching all the way down her back. Scars ran down the length of her face and disappeared under her loose dress and came out on her hand.

"Hi, I'm Emily. I've already heard so much about you," she smiled at me, giving me a hug, difficult with my large belly.

Then it hit me, who all these people were. Paul didn't tell me a lot about the whole werewolf business, but I came across a few things in research. This was_ the_ Pack. All of the overgrown men, crowding the small living room, were werewolves, just like Paul and Jared.

"Alexia," I breathed out, a breath I guess I was holding in.

When I really looked at her, I noticed she was also pregnant, maybe as much as me. That was probably the reason the hug was more awkward than normal, but I wasn't really paying attention to that, the audience startled me.

"If I may ask, how far along are you? Paul doesn't tell that, he just says far," she laughed, lightly smacking his arm.

"Thirty-two weeks," I smiled.

She gasped, "I'm only twenty-nine. You will be the first member of this pack to have a baby."

I was a part of _the_ Pack? It wasn't even Paul's baby, so how could they say that?

I didn't say anything, not knowing what to say and just smiled.

"This is my husband, Sam," she waved over a bigger guy than Paul, and that's saying something, taking him out of a light conversation with another wolf.

"Nice to meet you," he held out his hand and it didn't shock me as I took it and it was warm.

I smiled at him too, a loss of words.

"What's wrong with you, Alexia," Jared bellowed at me, "Cat got your tongue or did Paul already eat it off?"

I blushed, usually he talking didn't do much, but it was a different circumstance with the room full of people.

"Jared, I swear," Paul didn't go on, shaking his head, my hand still in his.

"It's alright, Pauly, I got it handled," Kim smiled at him and I before smacking him upside his head.

"It's probably true," another wolf I didn't know came walking over, "by Paul's thoughts…"

"This is Embry," Paul grumbled under his breath, "And Embry, you don't even know here, I didn't know you had that much wrong with you. That's how you usually meet people; you tell a little sex joke?"

Embry laughed, "Well, it's not really meeting because it's already like I had sex with her. So…"

I was confused the whole time, was this some secret code I didn't know about? I guess Embry saw my confused face and smirked at me.

"You didn't know," he looked at Paul shocked, but had a face like a kid in the candy store, "When in wolf form, we can read each other's thoughts. Little Paul here," he clapped a hand on his back, "thinks about you doing the dirty."

If I could have died, I would have been in the ground.

Paul just tensed by my side, I think shocked at everything himself.

"Awww," Embry cooed, "I made her blush! This could be just as easy as Nessie!"

"Shut the hell up, Embry," Paul growled.

"What? You know you do the same thing," Embry laughed.

"Alright, alright," Emily put a hand on Embry's chest and made him walk back, "let's not rile Paul up, Embry."

"Whatever you say, Mama Bear," Embry saluted her and went back to talk to a group of younger looking guys.

Emily smiled at me and walked back over to Paul.

"I-I'm really sorry, Alex-"

I held up my hand, "It doesn't matter right now, Paul. What are we here for?"

"It's like, what do you call it," he scratched his head, "a baby shower?"

What?

"What?"

"Well, it won't really be that, the Pack just wanted to give you some things," his voice lowered, "And you will accept everything given to you."

o-0-o-0-o

I got a lot of diapers and bottles. A few pairs of clothes and donated some money to buy me a changing table. She wasn't going to get anything fancy, like Logan got her, but it will work.

I really didn't want to accept everything, but I did for Paul. He smiled at me as people gave me stuff and I couldn't express my gratitude enough.

Nessie gave me a stroller and a car sear, the one thing that I said it was too much, but she denied, shaking her head and laughing at me.

"Trust me, I have enough money and this isn't from me or Jacob, it's from my family," she smiled and laughed at my stunned face.

Paul agreed that they had enough money to give everyone strollers and car seats in the world. In the end, I accepted it saying thank you and you don't know how much this means to me over and over again. I told her to tell her family that I said thank you.

I was extremely thankful for all of it; I had a feeling my parents buying me a crib was going to be the last and only thing they were going to buy me or the baby.

At the end of the day, I told Paul thank you and I loved him so much. When I started getting delirious, for that's what I do when I need to sleep desperately, we said goodbye and Paul practically carried me to my now dent free car he fixed.

Maybe everything will be okay. Maybe everything will all work out.

I curled up in the seat, gripping onto Paul's hand, the positive future running through my mind, helping me to drift off into sleep.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Tell me you thoughts? I've been reading a lot of Claire and Quil stories and I feel like I'm the only who finds the Quil in the movie completely full of cuteness? He may not be a sex god or anything, but there's just still something about him. What do you think? Both the story and Quil? Thoughts? Questions? Answers? Thanks for reading!**

**~AlwaysConfusedArtist~**


	14. Innocent

**Thank you for all the review and encouragement! I really do love them, keep them coming! Don't forget to tell me what you think at the end! I shant keep you waiting!**

**~AlwaysConfusedArtist~**

* * *

**Paul's P.O.V.**

"Pauly, get the damn phone," Kim shouted at me, clearly the phone placed perfectly in its cradle about a foot away from her, but she couldn't get off her ass and get it!

"Kimmy, why don't you get up off your lazy ass and-"

"Homework, Pauly," she shook her pencil at me from the doorway of the kitchen.

I grumbled around the apple, Kim has made us eat healthier, and went to go pick up the blinking hazard phone.

"Hello," I grumbled into the phone, taking another bite of apple.

"Um, is this Paul, this is Nathan, Alexia's brother," he muttered into the phone, well I know who the hell he is, but why the hell is he calling here?

"Yeah, this is Paul," I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion; Alexia would be at school right now.

"Yeah, um, Alexia went into labor or something like that and we're heading to the hospital."

The apple fell mid bite from my hands, chewed up apple falling out of my agape mouth. The lone apple went rolling across the floor; the phone went tumbling through my hands with it.

"What the fuck, Paul?"

Kim yelling at me for the cracked phone on the wooden floors, bits flew apart upon the fall, broke me from my haze.

I swung open the door, hearing plaster brake through pieces on the floor, I let myself fly off of the porch, phasing in midair, and clothes flew around like confetti. Kim shouted after me, voices in my head shouted after me and encouraged me after they heard my thoughts.

I didn't concentrate on anything, but on my muscles working to move their way to Olympia. I didn't know where she was, but I was pretty sure if I could fight off vampires, then I would be able to find my own fucking imprint in labor.

o-0-o-0-o

I track her scent down easily and found her at the Capitol Medical Center. I had a dilemma with my clothes, but I quickly came up with something. I ran through the backyard of somebody, they conveniently had clothes out, nothing that would fit me.

I quickly tore the black slacks and made myself fit in a grey t-shirt. I didn't know what to do about shoes, but then I saw a pair of boots on the porch. I wonder if these people knew this was basically my department store right now.

I walked into the emergency room doors, hoping that's the right place to go.

Nathan walked around the waiting room, one hand clenched at his head, the other at his hip.

"Nathan," I said.

His head snapped up to me, "I don't know what to do," he sighed, collapsing in a chair.

This dude really didn't seem to get that I really didn't give two shits about his problems right now, "Where is she?"

"She's in labor, apparently she thought the contractions she was having were the Braxton hicks."

"Nathan, am I allowed to go back there with her," I asked, slowing trying to get the point across I came here to be with Alexia.

He waved his hand to the closed in room for the nurses, "Ask them."

His eyes were all big and glossy and when he looked at something, it was like he wasn't even really looking. I know labor hurt, but it couldn't be that bad he was in shock.

I walked up to the window asking for Alexia Grey. They buzzed me through the door after telling me room 737.

I walked into the room, realizing why exactly Nathan looked that way. I also had a wonder if werewolves could faint?

She laid on the bed, groaning and panting in pain, her face drained of all color, and wires hooked up to her. I instantly went by her side, she gripped my hand and profusely told me how glad she was here.

"Are you the father," a redheaded nurse asked me, looking at the wires and doing God knows what?

I shook my head no looking down at her as she clenched her beautiful eyes shut, "Is she getting any medicine?"

"Yes, but she's lucky she came here just in time. It's curious that she didn't come here sooner, but yes; the epidural is kicking in and should do the job. She needs to get much needed rest," she looked over the clipboard, "And who are you?"

Logan, the bustard, who did this to her walked in, face just as stunned as Nathan's, though he hasn't seen anything yet, he still had that glossed eyed effect.

"I'm the father," he muttered, walking to the other side of the bed.

I couldn't help the small growls emanating from my mouth, but I don't think he heard any of them. He would glance up at me and give me some glares, but I would glare right back. Usually, that would make someone back down, but he didn't.

Soon, Alexia drifted off, her breathing got deeper and most of the tension released from her body, most of it though.

I took a seat on a couch by the window and Logan sat down in a torn up green chair on the other side of the room. It was completely silent in the room except for the beeping of the machines and Alexia's breathing.

"You know," Logan caught my attention, "I don't hate you or anything," he cocked his head to the side, still looking at Alexia curled up.

"I can't really say the same," I told him truthfully, smirking at him. I would love to beat up his snobby ass and kick his teeth in.

He flashed me his perfect teeth, "I know, I can tell. I would be pretty pissed too."

I laughed, "You don't know half of it."

It was quiet again for a while, feet shuffling around in the halls.

His voice this time was even quieter, if I didn't have super hearing, I made of not heard him right, "You know I wasn't her first?"

I looked at him, curiosity burning me, "What does that supposed to mean?"

"I wasn't the first person to have sex with her," he said, turning his head to look at me, his blue eyes acted as if he wished she was his first.

Why didn't I know any of this shit? I should be the one who knows this, not Mr. Fancypants. Why didn't she tell me?

I guess it wasn't really something that came up in a conversation with your boyfriend. _Yeah, I had sex with all of these guys, got knocked up by one before even getting funky under the sheets with you. _I guess I wasn't her first either, I think she already knew that though… It was pretty easy to tell if the person you have sex with is a virgin or not.

I cleared my throat, "Do you know, um, who-"

"I don't know for sure," he spared me, "I think you should ask her that instead of getting from me that could be just a rumor."

I nodded my head, "Yeah."

It was like I didn't know her. She just held all of these problems that mask who she truly is. It's a wonder she's alive, she may be curled up in the fetal position on a hospital bed, but she was alive. Going through all the abuse, her own abuse she put herself through, she was strong. I'm going to find the real person she is.

Somewhere along the way, my eyelids fell, the heavy feeling willing them down.

o-0-o-0-o

"Paul," a sweet voice croaked.

I mumbled some words and readjusted my head on the strangely hard pillow.

"Paul," it whispered again.

My eyelids peeked open, the room dark, but I could see in the dim light a green light blinking and a beeping noise following along with it. My eyes adjusted faster than a human's and I saw Alexia rolled on her side, facing away from me.

I got up, realizing the pillow wasn't a pillow at all, but the wooden arm of the small couch.

Her hair fanned out every, dark brown strand of hair knotting up.

"What is it, baby," I asked her, gently patting her hair down?

"Can you sleep with me," she whimpered, moving around, proving the fact that she couldn't get comfortable.

I nodded my head and she was already smashed up to the one side of the bed, gripping at the white railing. I slowly scooted myself next to her, feeling her body relax against mine as soon as her back hit my chest. She pulled my arm around and used it as a pillow, just like she always did.

I hummed with her, she feeling finally a fair amount of comfort and the hospital bed was a lot comfier than the small green couch. I felt relaxed with her, my other arm coming around to hold onto her stomach.

I fell asleep with her in my arms, in labor.

o-0-o-0-o

"Sir," something shook my arm, "sir."

I opened up my bleary eyes and saw the same redheaded woman I saw walking in here. She looked over me and I groaned.

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"Well, you're not supposed to be in the bed," she whispered.

I looked over at her small sleeping form still curled around my arm and looked back over the nurse, smiling.

She smiled back, "I didn't see."

"Thank you," I laughed, looking over at Mr. Fancypants sleeping in the chair he was in before.

A pale yellow seeped through the white closed curtains. I could tell the sun just came up.

"Call me Kara," she said, smiling at me from over her clipboard.

"Paul," I smiled back.

"So, are you the new boyfriend then," her pen swept across the paper.

"Yeah, I guess," I laughed quietly.

"Ooh," she sighed.

I laughed quietly, letting my head fall back on the stiff pillow, letting Alexia's steady heartbeat soothe me.

"I'm going to have to check how dilated she is soon," Kara said.

I nodded my head, "How dilated was she when she came in?"

"She was about six to seven, but it has slowed down a tremendous amount."

I nodded my head again. I didn't really know much about labor, but I knew dilating and stuff from school, I'm not a complete idiot.

"Is the baby going to be fine this early," I also knew that Alexia going into labor was pretty early.

She breathed in and looked at me from over her glasses, "She's about thirty-six weeks pregnant, the baby may be small, but she should be fine, both her and the baby."

I was relieved, I was worried about that. I let out a breath feeling like tension left it.

"Do you think she will be fine if I went and got some coffee or something," I asked Kara, looking over Alexia's scrunched up face.

"Yes," she snapped gloves on her hands.

I slowly pulled myself off the bed, surprised to see Alexia didn't wake up.

I closed the curtain behind me and took my time finding the cafeteria.

I hated hospitals, always have. They smell too much like cleaning products and everything feels empty. It looks like the Easter Bunny puked, leaving behind horrible pastel colors. Everybody walks around as if someone died, somebody probably did. Then you get to start thinking that people did die in this very same building.

It's weird that people die here, yet then babies are born here. What if your baby was born right when someone died?

Oh, and you can't forget when you hear 'code blue' over the speakers, everybody knows what that means.

I found the cafeteria, same dull colors, and saw Nathan standing over by the free coffee dispenser. He rubbed a hand over his dark hair repeatedly, staring down his coffee like it was about to beat him up.

"How's the coffee," I asked him, grabbing a cup from the stack and pouring some.

He shrugged and took a sip, eyes still glassed over, "Okay."

I took a sip of mine and my face scrunched up at the bitter taste, "This taste like shit."

He cracked a small, "I know."

"How you holding up," I asked him, leaning against the wall.

"Okay, I guess."

I raised an eyebrow, "Come on, I want to get my mind thinking of something else besides your sister in pain."

He smiled a weak empty smile, "I feel like… crap."

"You can cuss," I laughed, taking another sip of the tasteless, yet bitter coffee.

"I feel like shit," he sighed, letting himself lean up against the wall, "This whole situation is just so fucked up, it doesn't make sense. First, we were a happy, regular family. Mom gets promoted and gets all pissed off at everything we do. I didn't really give a shit; I just did whatever she said even though that _still_ wasn't enough."

"And behind her back," I asked?

He smiled down at his coffee, "Did whatever the fuck I wanted, but Alexia took everything so hard. I got in just as much trouble with Mom as I did Alexia," he ran a hand through his hair, "She got so upset when Mom told her she was a disappointment, I really couldn't care what I was to Mom, I just did whatever I was told and if I did something she didn't like, I just tell myself I did my best. Alexia just needed to say 'fuck it' like I did. She needed to just go out and let herself do what she wanted to do, be herself."

Mr. Fancypants laughed and walked up, "You think your sister was a saint?"

"I never saw her do anything," Nathan raised an eyebrow at him, "Besides, what say do you have in any of this, you're the one that knocked her up."

"After, she jumped me," he growled, "Newsflash, Alexia wasn't a saint as you claim her to be, she did go out and party."

"When?"

"Why would you notice anything when you were hooking up with Arianna," Logan asked, screwing his face up as he took a sip of coffee.

I smirked.

"I didn't ever hear her doing anything," Nathan muttered.

"Well, she isn't like you when she went out, she didn't have a good time. She would get drunk and pass out and sometimes she would end up in bed with a guy."

I growled under my breath, my blood boiling.

"How- why didn't I know," Nathan sighed, throwing away his cup.

"Like I said-"

"Yeah, I was hooking up with Arianna," Nathan waved him off, "What's your defense then you're Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes?"

Logan spun his finger around the rim of the paper cup, "I like Alexia-"

"That's not a reason," I grumbled, I really just wanted to rip him apart, it was instinct.

"Well, it's better than the baseball players that just saw her as a drunken girl that they could get laid with."

He had a point, but that's not a reason.

"I didn't really know she was drunk at first, but when she started kissing me and leading me to my bedroom, I couldn't help it," he sighed, looking down into the coffee, "I couldn't help it; just because I am Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes doesn't mean I don't have the hormones of a teenage boy. I liked her and she jumped me."

He was right; I probably would have done the same thing. I wasn't exactly respectful of woman before and I wasn't any better than these baseball players he's talking about. That reminds me, I would like to know who these baseball players are…

"Um, you're the guys with Alexia Grey, right," A small African-American woman came up and asked?

We nodded our heads.

"Yeah, she's ready to push."

"Shit," Logan and I muttered in unison, getting ready to run back, but the lady was walking a bit too slow for my pace.

"I'll stay here," Nathan called at us.

We walked into the room, her legs in stirrups, sweat beading at her forehead.

"The labor accelerated quickly," Kara said, standing with a clipboard.

I quickly rushed to Alexia's side, her hand grabbing my hand in a death grip. It probably would have hurt if I wasn't a werewolf.

She groaned and the monitors beeped wildly, the doctor walking in the exact same moment.

"How are you, Alexia," he asked in a voice full of total serenity.

She answered with another groan and the squeeze of my hand. Logan was pale the whole time across from me, Alexia holding his hand in her other one. I didn't feel too good either.

"Are you ready to push," the doctor asked, sitting behind her spread open legs on a stool. A blue mask covered his face and he wore some plastic scrubs over his jacket and regular scrubs, gloves pulled up to his elbows.

She nodded her head wildly, yes she was ready.

After about an hour the nurses and the doctors were telling us that she was almost here, that she was going to come out soon.

"Alright, Alexia, you got to push really hard on this one," the doctor looked up at her as she panted, her eyes closed tightly shut.

She nodded her head and squeezed my hand anticipating it.

The doctor looked up at the monitor, "In one, two, three, push."

She groaned and clamped down on my hand, her eyes still closed firmly shut.

"Okay, I see the head," the doctor assured her, "Push really hard on the next one."

She nodded her head,

"In one, two, three, push."

She groaned as she clamped down on my hand, her teeth clenching together.

A second later, a scream filled the room.

I looked down at Alexia as her eyes widened and she panted, but a grin stretched across her face. I looked up at Logan; he just looked plain shocked, still almost as pale as a vampire.

"Who's going to cut the umbilical cord," the doctor asked, looking between Logan and me?

I nodded at Logan and looked back down at Alexia her face still smiling, watching Logan at her feet.

He took the scissors and the baby from Kara and looked at the long blue cord, looking like it came fresh out of an alien move. He placed it over the cord, giving it a few snips before it finally popped.

I saw it before he went down, his eyes rolled back in his head, the scissors dropped from his hands, and he felt back on the tiled ground with a loud thump.

I couldn't help, but smirk at the, the nurses and the doctor seemed as though they couldn't resist as they all cracked a smile.

As he was being dragged away, they wiped up the baby and wrapped her in a small white blanket and placed her in Alexia's arms.

"Hi," she cooed, fat tears rolling down her face. She played with her fingers as I smiled down on them both.

She was taken from her the nurses checking over her and the doctor working over Alexia.

"What are you going to name her," I asked, wiping the tears off of her pink cheeks.

She looked up at me, happy tears in her eyes, "Hannah."

Hannah, with a mess of black hair she weighed in at six pounds and seven ounces, Hannah, the small little baby that already changed my world. She's not mine, but I'm going to treat her as if she was my own. Hannah, the beautiful baby of Alexia.

o-0-o-0-o

Alexia and Hannah was moved up the hospital to stay in for the rest of the time. It was bigger and nicer than the other room we were put in.

"Why did you name her Hannah," I asked, looking over at the baby sleeping in Alexia's arms?

She shrugged, "I liked the name and when I saw her, I just heard that name."

I smiled at her, he finger running down the wrinkly newborns cheek. I looked up as the door open and closed, Mr. Fancypants walked in.

I smirked, "Was it a little too much?"

He made a face at me, holding an ice bag to his head, "You try cutting that thing."

"Do you want to hold her," she asked, looking pointedly at the sleeping baby.

I don't think he was really all together still, his face going pale as he walked near the bed, his eyes glued to the small infant.

"Don't faint again," I laughed as he looked down at her cuddled up in the blanket.

Alexia adjusted her and placed her in Logan's cradled arms. His eyes went wide as all her weight was transferred to his arms, his movements so careful and shaky as he gently bounced her up and down in his arms.

"Did you name her," he asked, looking to Alexia?

"Hannah, you said you liked the name too before, but I just thought she looked like a Hannah-"

Alexia would have gone rambling on, but I covered my hand over her mouth, pulling her closer to my body lying next to her.

"Hannah," he whispered down at her, "Why would you do that?"

"I thought you would like it named after you," she looked at him worried?

He shook his head, "No, I don't deserve it."

I looked between them, confused, "How is she named after him?"

"Hanna is his middle," Alexia said.

I couldn't help the little snicker that came out.

"It's a family name," Logan defended himself.

I put my hands up in surrender.

There was a knock at the door, a nervous knock.

"Come in," Alexia called!

Nathan slowly let himself in, catching eyes with Alexia and went over to hug her.

"I love you, Alexia," he muttered into her shoulder.

"I love you too," her voice cracked, holding onto him tightly.

"I wish I could have been a better brother," he whispered, probably not meant for me to hear, but I couldn't exactly turn off my super hearing.

"You are a great brother," she sighed, letting him up slowly.

I could tell he was trying not to get emotional, but as he looked down at his little sister, I could see the red rim under his eye. He was truly sorry, he was sorry that he didn't know what his sister really was doing.

He smiled back at her, "Now can I see my niece."

"You have to ask Logan," she laughed, looking at Logan cooing at his daughter, her dark blue eyes now open.

Logan handed her over to Nathan with extreme caution.

"Is she supposed to be this quiet," he mumbled, looking up?

Alexia shrugged, "The nurses said she's just quiet and said she's a thinker."

"So she'll be smart," I laughed.

"Like her father," Logan smirked.

There was something I wanted to ask about, but I didn't think it would bring this bright, cheery atmosphere to a thick tension. Her parents, where her parents even going to come see their daughter after she's given birth, their granddaughter? I knew the answer would probably be no, so I didn't ask.

Soon it came visiting hours were over, Nathan went home a while ago, but Logan and I stayed.

"I'm supposed to go home tomorrow morning," Alexia said, "You both can go home if you want."

I shook my head, there was no way I was going back to La Push and just have to come back here in the morning. I think Logan saw that too.

"I'll go home, just call me in the morning," he said.

I smiled at him, a thank you.

We waved at him goodbye, he kissed Hannah on her chubby cheek as she slept in the hospital bassinet.

"You should go home and get some sleep," Alexia mumbled as I slid in the bed behind her, "Get some new clothes."

"I smell," I asked?

"No," she laughed a sleepy laugh, "Nathan is bringing me clothes tomorrow."

"Good," I muttered, kissing her hair, "go to sleep."

"Are you okay," she questioned around a yawn?

"You're asking me," I scoffed, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she mumbled into my arm.

"I'm fine as long as you are," I whispered, hoping she would just get some rest.

"Don't start that again, Paul," she huffed.

_Why wouldn't she just go to sleep?_

"I'm not starting anything; we can talk later after you go to sleep."

She didn't answer, but I felt her body start to give in to my warmth, feeling the whole outline of her body fall into me, fitting me like a puzzle piece. Her breathing turned shallow and I felt her small mouth open up onto my arm, her warm breath spilling out.

I kissed her hair one more time before I went to sleep, the sound of her breath and Hannah's.

Hannah Alexia Grey-Blume was born on May 20th, 2013.


	15. Smile

**Alexia's P.O.V.**

I was sore and felt like I was going to cry every second. Weird is another major word how to describe the whole situation. She wasn't inside me anymore; I was like a deflated balloon. She's on the outside now making everything all the more real.

It's weird to say that she's mine, she's a part of me, but she is. Even though she's detached physically from my body, except for when she nursing, I still feel like I have a weird connection to her. Maybe that's what imprinting is like?

"Are you ready to go home," Paul asked me, his fingertips grazing over Hannah's cheek as she fed.

You don't know how ready I am, "Very."

He laughed and I smiled up at him, his grey eyes elite with joy.

It's weird that he's that happy, as happy as Logan, when it isn't even his baby. I would think most guys wouldn't be as happy, but I guess Paul went with his word saying he would treat her just as his own.

We were waiting on Logan to come back to take us back to my house. Nathan drove me here in his car, used to be ours, and Sadie drove mine home. Paul told me he 'ran' here so we were without a car.

I looked down at Hannah, her chubby cheeks smashed up against my chest, her little mouth move as she suckled. At first she had trouble latching, and me not knowing what the hell I was doing, I had to get Kara, the nurse, to help me. After a couple of tries, it worked finally and she and I got the hang of it.

"The car's out front," Logan huffed, guessing he rushed here.

Kara followed right in after him with a wheelchair, "You guys ready to go home?"

"Yes," I laughed, my sore, aching body agreeing with me.

Paul climbed out of the bed behind me and came to the other side of the bed I was laying on.

I handed over Hannah into Logan's awaiting arms and Paul placed his warm arms under me, gently lifting me off of the bed.

I cringed as the slight jostle moved me and I felt totally drained, not wanting anything, but to be able to lay back down in the bed and rest, but it conflicted so much with wanting to be in the comfort of my own bed.

"Sorry," he muttered, helping me get positioned in the wheelchair.

I smiled up at him and took advantage of him bending over and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. Logan bent down and set Hannah in my arms, cuddled up in a pink blanket and a light pink hat on her head, little wisps of black hair poked out.

I was rolled out of the sliding doors, Logan's sleek black Mercedes waiting right in front of the doors, the doors to the car already open, and car running. I could see her lime green and black car seat buckled in the back.

Logan reached over me, placing Hannah in the car seat and started fumbling with the buckles.

"Here you go," Kara said, reaching around Logan and easily buckling her in.

"Thanks," he muttered, scratching his head, probably trying to remember how she did it.

"No problem. Parents always have trouble with the seats now days," she laughed.

Paul slowly took my hand in his, his other hand placing on my lower back as he helped me up. I would have to keep in mind how good his warm hands felt on my back.

o-0-o-0-o

I unbuckled the latches holding the car seat in the seat and pulled it out with me, cringing at every movement, but I was determined to be the one carrying her into our house.

"Are you sure," Paul held his arms extended towards me like I was going to fall any second?

"Yes," I hissed, his worrying over me really getting on my nerves.

I pulled myself out of the car, turning around and grabbing the car seat.

"It's not much," I mumbled down at her red face from her screeching in the car, "but it will work."

It felt like getting to the door was the longest walk of my life, but once we finally got in the door, it firmly shut behind all four of us, I was relieved.

No matter how empty I felt, how sore I was how much pain I was and still am, it was all worth it. I never knew I could love something this much. I was still wrapping my head around that she was mine, but it seemed like I would never believe it.

"And this is our room," I smiled down at her, her small puffy lips blowing out spit bubbles.

I walked over setting the car seat on the ground and unbuckled her, lying on the bed with her in my arms. I sighed in contentment to be back in my own bed, my baby in my arms, her actually being on the outside instead of inside of me.

"I'm going to go," Logan muttered, "I should at least get some of the school work done, I will bring you yours."

I nodded, cringing at how much school work I have piled up.

He came over and kissed Hannah on her forehead, muttering and I love you before leaving.

"Mr. Fancypants is all about his school work," Paul snickered in the rocking chair in the corner of the room.

"Don't call him that," as I said it I couldn't stop the ends of my lips curving up into a small smile.

"You know it's true," Paul laughed.

I shook my head, still looking down at Hannah as her eyes started fluttering closed. I think all the screaming in the car wore her out, her face still red.

"What time is it," I muttered, my finger spinning circles on Hannah's cheek.

"Um, like one," he said, stretching his legs out in front of him.

My eyes moved up to look at him, "Paul, you should really go home."

He shook his head at me and smiled, "No."

"Get some new clothes, take a shower, see Jared and Kim," I rambled off all the things he should be doing, but he's not.

"No."

"Paul."

"No."

"Paul."

"No."

"Am I going to have to treat you as if you are my baby too," I asked him in a baby voice?

"Fine," he grumbled, but I will be back tonight," he stood up and kissed Hannah on the cheek, turning his stormy grey eyes to me.

"I plan on it," I whispered, letting the soft peck turn deeper, but I cut it off quick.

"Tease," he laughed, "I love you."

"Love you too," I called at him as he left.

I heard the front door close, and all was silent.

Hannah's warm heat in my arms sent my own eyes flickering closed.

I really don't know how Mom could have treated us the way she did. I find it impossible as I look down at my own daughter. All I want to do is hold her, hug her, and give her everything. She may not have all the new and best toys that I wanted and got when I was younger, but she would have my love, unlike what I had.

Sure, those toys made me pretty happy, but in the long run, those did nothing for me. She won't be a disappointment no matter what she does. Whatever she does that isn't right is my fault, not hers. I will teach her right from wrong and will let her be whoever she wants to be.

It's still mindboggling how I was treated, at age seven I was forced into frilly dresses, told how to smile, don't speak unless spoken to, and to always be the best. I didn't have a childhood, I never got to figure who I am, and I still don't know who I am.

Before, I was a bright little girl, always wanting to make people laugh. I wanted to make everyone happy when they were down, that's all I remember. It would make me even happier than the people I made happy if I could get them to crack a smile.

That turned around when my parents went in to the parent-teacher conference and they were told I was a little class clown.

I want that to be me again, but I don't think I will be that same person again. I'm lucky myself when I smile. I want Hannah to be that happy little girl.

Hannah squirmed and let a soft whine before she let her little newborn wail come out.

I pulled up my shirt, she latched on right away.

"It's okay," I hushed her, holding her little feet in my hands; "Everything will be okay."

o-0-o-0-o

"Well, look who it is," Jared's voice bellowed out as he walked in the front door, Kim right behind him.

"Hi, Jared," I laughed, "still got him under control, Kim?"

"I try," she sighed.

"Can I hold her," Kim asked, sitting beside me on the couch?

"Sure," I said, placing her in Kim's cradled arms.

"She's so cute," she laughed as she looked over Kim curiously.

"Thank you," I smiled at her.

"Let's not get all girly, I'm here because I have to babysit you," Jared said, letting himself fall onto the couch next to Kim.

"Yeah, Paul told me," I laughed, he left for patrol about an hour ago and told me he was sending over Jared and Kim.

"He's ridiculous," Kim shook her head.

"Tell me about it," I mumbled.

Kim let her hand down and Hannah instantly wrapped her hand around Kim's index finger, we both awed, Jared rolled his eyes, but I saw the corners of his lips raise up a bit, he couldn't resist

"You want to hold her," Kim asked Jared?

He held up his hands, shaking his head no," Nuha, no way."

"Come on Jared," she sighed, practically shoving her in Jared's way so he had to hold her.

"No, no! Kim," he whined as he cradled her to his shirtless chest.

"Maybe you should be more civilized next time and wear a shirt," I laughed, making Kim laugh.

"He knows no such thing," Kim giggled.

"You like it and you know it," Jared winked.

"Jared," Kim slapped his shoulder.

He widened his eyes dramatically, "Kim, you would hit somebody holding a baby?"

"I would if the person was like you," I smirked.

"It's okay Hannah, I will protect you from the mean people," he cooed down at her, his finger wrapped up in hers.

"So, what's it like to have a baby," Kim asked me?

"Weird," was my immediate answer.

"Yeah, I would guess," she laughed, "Does it feel weird that you're responsible for another life?"

"I know how that feels," Jared laughed.

"Jared, if you were responsible of me, I would be dead," Kim scoffed.

"I haven't really looked at it that way," I said, ignoring Jared's comment.

"Good job, Kim. Now you made her look at the downside," Jared shook his head.

"No, she's not really a fussy baby," I said, looking at my daughter curled up in Jared's bronze chest.

"That's good," Kim nodded her head, "All I ever hear about is people whiny how much their baby's whine."

I shrugged, "Well, it's only my second day home from the hospital."

Jared scrunched up his face, "So, you had to change a dirty diaper?"

I laughed at his face, "Yes, Jared, I did have to change a dirty diaper."

"Gross," he muttered, looking down at Hannah as if she was the dirty diaper herself.

o-0-o-0-o

Indeed it was only the second day that day, now it has been a month and I'm tired. I feel like I'm so tired that I don't even feel tired anymore, I'm delirious.

Logan's been going to school and bringing me my work, one of us should get to go. School ended and I was able to go in and take tests, Kim and Jared offered to babysit. I was extremely appreciative of that.

Paul visits regularly, coming here after patrol.

Mom acts like nothing is happening, she goes to work, comes home, works, and goes to bed. She hasn't spoke to me, nothing.

Dad tried coming by, loving all over Hannah everything is ordinary. I appreciate that he at least talks to me, but it's so awkward.

Everything seems to be in place and schedules are the same. Hannah and I stay home all day, going out to the store only once since she's been born.

I feel like I'm getting worse, I can feel that numbness creeping back into my system, I don't feel, I just do. I do what I know what I need to do, not thinking about it. I take care of Hannah and love her, but I feel numb doing it.

I tell myself I can't do this with Hannah. I can't worry about myself; I have to worry about her.

I can tell Paul knows that I'm slowly falling back to where I was when I met him, numbness overtaking my body like a sick disease. I can't stop it no matter how much I try to smile.

One night, Paul was running patrol and Hannah was asleep, I thought about how I found relief from the numbness before.

I walked into the bathroom, a small kitchen knife in hand and sat down on the lid of the toilet.

I stared down at the silver knife, twisting it over in my hand, like before not thinking.

The small night shorts I wore only covered up the top white, deep scars. They run horizontally marring my peach skin.

I let my fingertips graze across the scars, feeling nothing.

The scars are so ugly, hideous, showing all my weakness. I couldn't handle it, not like Nathan. I had to get knocked up and make an innocent being be put in this situation. She's forced to be around somebody like me, she deserves more than to have a mom that can't give her anything. She deserves a mom that's not scarred and hideous. She deserves a happy family, not this fucked up family.

I let the knife lay atop of my skin, not pushing. Letting the cold metal chill my skin, goose bumps rising.

A wail in the house made the knife fall between my fingers, cutting a small cut down my leg.

I left the bathroom in a hurry, back into my bedroom.

Hannah's pink face curled up and was letting out cries, spring thunder cracked outside, her crying escalating.

I picked her up, swaddling her, bouncing her up and down in my arms.

Her crying instantly downgraded to a small whimper under my hushing and my humming, shushing away her worries. Her eyelids fluttered, looking up at me every so often, a slight smile playing across her lips.

I couldn't do anything, but smile back down at her, small, silent tears falling down my face. Her first smile as she lay in my arms, drifting off to sleep. It wasn't a put on smile, it was real and she made me smile, her small pink lips curling up. It was like she knew she was stopping me.

At the same time that thunder clapped outside, I knew that I could never relieve myself that way again. I wouldn't do it again for her, I wouldn't harm myself. I would do anything to make her smile, making me smile just as she does, nothing fake, all real.

o-0-o-0-o

"Alright were going out," Paul said, picking himself up off the couch.

"Where," I sighed, flipping through the channels on the T.V.?

Hannah lay in the middle of the floor, next to the couch, on her stomach, moving her head around curiously. She only made slight turns of her head, but when Paul spoke, she turned towards his voice.

Hannah and I have been both kind of down because yesterday we had to take her to get shots, she wasn't happy at all, neither was I. It was the worst thing watching her scream bloody murder as they poked and prodded at her.

"Let's just get out," Paul said, "Go take a shower and do whatever you do!"

I raised my eyebrows at him, "Do whatever I do?"

"Yeah, go do whatever you do to go out! Hannah has to see the world sometime," he smiled, a little too happy.

Why is he so ecstatic?

"She's two months old," I smirked at him, raising my body off the couch anyways.

He shrugged, "Alright, she can see Olympia, might as well start early."

I laughed, "Are you going to take care Hannah while I do whatever I do?"

"You know it," he winked at me, slapping my butt as I walked by him.

"This isn't the wild west, Paul," I said, walking down the hall, my face burning anyways.

"You love it," he called before I closed the bathroom door behind me.

I did, but don't tell him that.

o-0-o-0-o

"So where are we going," I asked as I buckled Hannah in the backseat of the Beetle?

"You don't realize what today is, do you," he raised an eyebrow at me?

I climbed in the passenger seat, "No, is it something special?"

He smirked his mischievous smile, "It's the fourth of July."

Was I really that out of it? How do I not know that? It's like I've been absent from the world this whole time, how could I not know?

I looked at Hannah in her car seat, she looked around, her small face scrunched up like she didn't know if she should cry or not. Two months old and she's only been in the car twice, one of the times coming home from the hospital.

"Will she be okay," I questioned automatically?

He shrugged, "We'll find out."

"Where are we going?"

"La Push."

"Did you pack enough things for her?"

"Yes."

"So, you packed diapers, extra clothes-"

"I got it handled, Alexia. Don't worry," he gave me a sympathetic smile and I just had to trust him on his word.

o-0-o-0-o

Thankfully, she fell asleep on the way there, only waking up and whining once. She fell back asleep quickly as Paul and I started singing to her and she stopped to look at us curiously. Apparently, she found it soothing and fell asleep ten minutes later.

"Where are we going," I asked as we drove down the main road, the water shining by the window.

"First Beach."

"The beach were we met," I tried to remember that day that seemed like it was fifty years ago, but hasn't even been a year?

"The one and only," his trademark smirk smiled back at me.

I let out a breathy laugh, "A lot has happened since I've been there last."

"Yeah," he laughed, pulling up next to some parked cars lined up on the road.

"Do think she'll be scared," I looked at her little sleeping body in the car seat?

He gave me a look, "Alexia, don't worry."

I sighed and got out of the car, pulling her car seat out with her, carrying her in it. Paul carried the diaper bag.

"Pauly," Kim called from down on the beach, waving her hands back and forth in front of a giant bonfire!

The red embers flew high up in the orange and pink sky, cackling in a beautiful fashion.

"Hey Kimmy," Paul smiled back at her as we walked up.

A group of shirtless guys kicked around a soccer ball further down the beach and a couple of woman set up the table full of food and when I mean full, I mean there were plates hanging over the side of the table, miraculously staying put.

"Where's Jerry," Paul asked, setting down the diaper bag next to a log?

She pointed to the group of men, "Where do you think?"

Paul laughed and looked more closely down at the beach, "Is that Nessie playing with them?"

Kim laughed and nodded, "Yeah, and Claire is too."

Paul crossed his arms, "How does that work? I thought that was hands on soccer?"

Kim shrugged, "Quil and Jake protect them, plus I don't see them complaining."

We watched as the ball came flying towards the girl in the car with Jake when we crashed, I think it was Nessie, and Jacob crashed into her side, rolling them over so her would fall on the sand.

"I didn't know there were tackling in soccer," I muttered.

"Its _advanced_ soccer, at least that's what I'm told," she waved her hands around at the word advanced.

"Do they really think their fooling anybody," Paul asked, watching as Nessie beat her fists on Jacob's shirtless chest, but a huge grin on her face?

Kim shook her head, "Claire just started having a crush on Quil if you remember properly and Ness has always had a thing for Jacob, but Jacob doesn't like to talk about it."

"She looks about fifteen now, it shouldn't be that weird," Paul laughed, "I'm just glad I didn't imprint on a baby myself."

"Yeah and we all know why," I murmured.

It wasn't really meant for Kim to hear, but she winked at me and looked down at Hannah, "And how is Hanny today?"

I looked down at her face, her little pink lips puffy out making spit bubbles form, "Curious."

She laughed, "Curiosity killed the cat."

"Well, hopefully she's more dog than cat because she's always curious," I laughed with her.

"Plus, she hangs out with this dog all the time," Kim giggled, punching Paul's shoulder.

"Foods ready to be served," I noticed Emily now standing by the table, a little bundle of blankets in her hands.

Paul did mention about her having her baby, a little boy named Samuel Junior, S.J. for short.

It seemed like the whole group playing soccer stopped at all once, turning to look towards Emily's voice, towards the food filled table. And like how they all stopped together, they ran up together, calling out each other to race.

I couldn't help laughing at them, most of them grown men, but yet were acting like children.

Kim let out a squeal as Jared came up behind her, jumping on her back, "Let's go, Kimberley! We will never get food if you just stand there all day!"

She giggled and shouted at him as he pulled her up in his arms, cradling to his chest and ran over to the buffet with her.

"He doesn't realize we just have to look at people and they will move," he laughed, "I'll get us food, just wait her."

He motioned for me to sit on the log; I sat pulling out Hannah on my lap. She looked up at me; her lip pushing out into a pout, like she was going to start her bloodcurdling cry, but nothing came out. I'm guessing she's just worried about the whole thing.

The guy from the party, with dirty jokes, Embry I think, sat down on another log next to me.

"Hey, Alexia," he smiled, stuffing his mouth full.

"Hi," I smiled back.

"I'm Embry remember, the one who told you about sharing thoughts and how Paul thinks about-"

I waved my hand in the air, "I remember you, don't worry."

He winked, "So, I made and impression."

I rolled my eyes, "Not really, I just don't want you to say much more in front of my baby."

He smirked and looked down at Hannah in my arms, his smirk slowly falling. He looked like he was in awe, in astonishment. His eyes glistened and his jaw went slack. I felt like I knew that look, it kind of reminded me of how Paul looks at me…

"Shit," somebody muttered, walking up to the scene.

* * *

**Now, now! Don't get your pitchforks out yet! I know it's totally cliche to have this happen, but please hear me out. Review and tell me what you think, although your probably all pissed.**

**~AlwaysConfusedArtist~**


	16. Happy

**I do NOT own Twilight**

* * *

**Paul's P.O.V.**

I heard someone cuss as I threw on some chicken legs onto the paper plate, plate in one hand chicken in the other.

"What happened," I mumbled around the food, looking at Jared next to me.

He shrugged and turned his head around, muttering his own curse under his breath, "Dude."

I looked at him curiously as he tapped my shoulder, looking towards the bonfire. His hand extended towards, pointing at something. I followed his finger and couldn't really believe what I saw or what I was seeing, I didn't understand.

The plate slipped from my hands, falling all in the sand, chicken rolling everywhere, "Fuck."

My feet kicked up sand everywhere as they trudged in the ground. I have no clue how the hell I would do this. I don't know how the fuck I should treat this situation, so I did the first thing that came to my mind.

My fist came into contact with Embry's cheek, a movie punch sound echoed around us. He fell to the ground in the sand, food flying everywhere like confetti.

Everyone seemed to stop in their tracks, freezing all in the same time. In unison, S.J. and Hannah screamed out a bloodcurdling cry into the night, fireworks just now being set off.

"Paul," Emily called at me in disbelief.

I shrugged, it didn't help, but it made me feel better and made him tear his eyes away from Hannah. It wouldn't reverse time and stop him, but it sure as hell made me feel better.

Alexia's eyes traveled to mine, to Embry's as he stared at me, and back down at Hannah. I don't thinks she knows what happened. She shook Hannah up and down in her arms, trying to soothe her, but it didn't do much.

"What- why- I-"

Alexia sat there stuttering in her seat, not able to make any words come out the way she wanted them to.

"I think Embry should explain," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

Embry picked himself up out of the sand, dusting himself off, "I don't even know what happened."

"I think you do dumbass," I glared at him.

"Paul," Emily chided, already having S.J. calmed down enough to a small whimper.

"You imprinted, asshole," I growled, glaring at his still stupid, dumbfounded face.

"I don't know what to say," Embry muttered, shifting his feet awkwardly, giving Hannah wary glances.

"Wait, what," Alexia murmured, looking at me for answers?

"Embry imprinted on Hannah," I explained for the once muted Embry.

"What," she asked, looking down at Hannah, cradling her closer to her chest, her whines dying down?

"It's not like that, Alexia," he said, putting his hands up in defense, "It's not like you and Paul, it's like Quil and Claire. I don't have any of _those_ feeling towards her."

I heard somebody clear their throat and turned around to see Quil the one who made it, Claire stared down at the ground, a furious blush on her cheeks clear even in the only light of the bonfire.

"Maybe we should take this somewhere else," Sam suggested.

"I'll watch Hannie for you," Kim smiled sincerely.

Alexia nodded, giving Hannah a kiss on the forehead before handing her off.

I held my hand out Alexia; shook took it, pulling herself up from the log.

"Let's take a walk," I suggested, engulfing her small hand in my.

Embry nodded and followed us down the beach; we went far enough that we weren't in hearing distance.

"I-I'm sorry, Alexia. I didn't do it on purpose, I can't help it. I know the difficulties of imprinting on a baby, but all I want to do is make her happy, trust me on that," he pleaded.

"I don't know what to say," Alexia whispered honestly, "I don't want her to be taken away from me."

She looked out at the tumbling black waters, bright lights flashing over the water, fireworks bursting in the dark sky.

Embry shook his head, "I would never do that, and you make her happy"

Alexia took her free hand, the one not holding mine, and pressed it into her eye where I know tears were forming, and dragged it down her fast.

"I really just don't know what to say," she said it so low that a human wouldn't be able to hear.

"All I ask is a chance to make her happy. I promise I will do nothing, but make her happy. You're her mother and I can never change that," he pleaded to the person who would choose his life or death.

"I just- I just need time to think about all of this," she mumbled, sticking her foot in the sand.

"I understand," Embry nodded, "take all the time you need."

She smirked, "That may be all the time in the world."

Embry chuckled warily, "Okay maybe not that much time."

I laughed, "Can't go back on your word bro."

Alexia looked up at me, twisting, wringing her hands together, "What about Logan?"

I shrugged, "Maybe it's time Mr. Fancypants learns about the Quileute Legends."

o-0-o-0-o

**Alexia's P.O.V.**

"What if he kills me," Embry sighed in the back seat of the Beetle.

"Then I guess he kills you," I smiled.

"You're a werewolf, Embry, you eat vampires for breakfast," Paul scoffed.

"Hey," Embry exclaimed, dramatically throwing his hands around Hannah's ears, "what if I didn't want her to know I'm a werewolf?"

"How the hell would you keep that from her," Paul raised an eyebrow at him in the rearview mirror?

I punched his arm, he didn't even flinch, "Don't cuss around her."

"Jees, I can't say anything around here," Paul muttered, pulling into a parking lot down at the water.

"What if we can't convince him," Embry voiced out another worry?

I sighed and said, "I guess you're going to have to be a car salesman," before climbing out of the car.

Paul was already getting the car seat out of the trunk, which is in the front of the car where in cars now, it would be where the engine is.

"I'm not very good a convincing people," Embry muttered.

"You convinced me," I pointed out.

"Yeah, only after you figured out I would be a built-in babysitter," I laughed.

"I use it to my advantage," I smiled.

It's true, I accepted it. Well, I don't know if you could really say I accepted it, I coped though. Embry makes her smile and all I want is for her to be happy, to smile. She laughed her first real laugh at Embry when he walked in the door and was dripping wet; I yelled at him, she took joy in that.

I took advantage of the situation, making him deal with her when she's in her whiny moods, which is lucky for him because that's pretty rare. If I'm tired, he watches her while nap.

We have been getting in schedule though. Logan has her on the weekends and Wednesday because I go out and do something with Paul and/or Sadie.

I haven't been seeing much of her though, she's mostly with Danny. If we do see each other Wednesday, we catch up over some coffee. She understands I'm busy a lot and I understand that she doesn't want to hang out with me a lot.

Nathan has been getting ready to go to college, he's going to Michigan State to be an engineer and surprise, surprise, Arianna is going there too. I have no clue how the hell she got in, but she did. Most nights he will be home to eat dinner, but then the rest of the day I don't see him.

I'm proud of him for going to college. Even if I could go, I don't think I would be able to, mentally. I just don't think I could take any more school; it's just another load to worry about. Nathan sees it as is one-way ticket out of here.

Mom goes to work and I hear her come home at night, banging through the door, drunk. I don't say anything. I let her be.

Don't see Dad anymore; don't even know where he lives anymore. He doesn't even call.

I put that behind me at the end of the day for Hannah, trying my best to get her out of that, she doesn't deserve that.

I haven't decided what I want to do about school. Do I go back? Do I drop out? Its mid-July, I have to decide soon.

I'm hoping telling Logan about _everything_ will take a load off of me, if it goes well that is. He has to know his daughter as some weird mystical connection to a guy. He has to be told sometime, the sooner the better. If he takes it well, everything will be swell, but if he takes it badly, things will be a whole lot worse.

"Calm down, dude," Paul chuckled as we walked through the green grass, up to the sidewalk that rounds around Capitol Lake.

Embry looked like he was ready to shake out of his skin, not to phase, but just nerves rolling through his body.

"Come on," I smiled, "you two could become great friends or something."

He scrunched up his face, "That could be weird."

We laughed and walked to one of the picnic benches under the shade.

A couple minutes later, Logan arrived looking terribly confused about the whole thing. I didn't really tell him anything, just told him to meet me here at three.

"Hello," he said, taking a seat next to me.

"Hi, Logan," Paul smiled at him politely.

"Hey," Embry muttered nervously.

Logan raised an eyebrow at me, "So, what's happening?"

"Um, I have things to tell you," I said.

"Oh, God, you're not pregnant again," he asked shocked?

I laughed; glad he was wrong, "No, definitely not, it's something about Hannah."

"Is she okay," he asked, looking at her in the stroller pulled up next to the table.

Her big blue eyes looked around curiously at the change of scenery, spit gurgling out of her mouth and onto her teal onesie.

"No, nothing's wrong with her," I assured him, "It actually has something to do with Paul too."

"Okay, I'm lost."

Paul cleared his throat, "Well, it has to do something with my family history, you see."

He went on telling him what he told me about the spirit warriors and the man getting killed, then his spirit form going into a wolf. He goes back and kills the guy that killed his body while his spirit was out of it and from then on, there were shape shifters. He went into a lot more detail than that, more detail even when he first told me.

Logan laughed, "So, why am I getting a history lesson?"

Paul shuffled his hands on the table a pause going by, "Well, those legends are true."

Logan stared at him like he was crazy and burst out laughing, "Right."

"They are," I said to him, all seriousness.

He stopped, a smirk still on his face, "You called me to come here to tell me a joke?"

"No, they're true. They," I pointed to Paul and Embry, "are shape shifters."

"This is just getting better and better," he shook his head.

"They can show you if you don't believe us," I suggested?

His smirking face seemed to dissolve into seriousness as he seemed to figure out everything. We weren't joking and he could tell.

"Shit," he hissed leaning into the table, "You're serious."

"Yeah, we are," Paul smiled, seeming to be proud.

"You knew this, Alexia?"

I nodded.

"Shit," he ran a hand through his hair, "Why- I mean- I- What are you telling me for?"

"Well, "Paul went on, "there's more."

"Wait," he put up his hands, "this has to do with Hannah?"

"This is the part that has to do with Hannah," I said.

"There's this thing called imprinting, it's like love on steroids-"

"Soul mate Express," Embry imputed randomly, "that's what I like to call it."

"When a werewolf sees his soul mate, we have this feeling where we know. It feels like gravity isn't holding you down to the earth anymore, but she is. All you want to do is make her smile, be happy and laugh. Even if we weren't wolves, somehow, we would still be with her in the end, but it probably would take longer."

"You sound like you know a lot about it," Logan muttered.

"Yeah," Paul nodded, "that's because I imprinted on Alexia."

Logan sighed and resituated himself on the bench, "Okay and how does this have to do with Hannah?"

"That's where Embry comes in," Paul smiled, "he imprinted on her."

Silence, complete, awkward silence.

"She's a baby," he hissed.

"Well, it can happen at all ages," Paul shrugged.

"It's not anything gross, I promise," Embry pleaded, "I just want to make her happy."

"You think you can just have some disgusting pervert around my daughter," he turned and growled at me?

"Logan, it isn't anything perverted, he just wants her happy. There's nothing romantic," I tried to keep calm, hoping that if I'm calm, nothing will escalate.

"I can assure you that Embry not a pervert, well not around Hannah," Paul said as an afterthought.

"There has to be a catch, you can't just want her happy, that's not how the world works," Logan glared at Embry.

"Don't you just want her to be happy," I asked Logan, "is there a catch with you?"

"No, but I'm her dad, that's different," he shook his head, "he's just some perverted teenager."

"That's where your wrong, I'm actually-"

"Save that for later," I stopped Embry from going on, "Logan, do you really think I would let him around if I didn't think this was safe for her?"

He thought about it for a second, but didn't answer.

"You know I wouldn't," I said for him.

There was a pause again, but he finally gave in, "That doesn't mean I have to like it."

I smiled, "Trust me, I'm not happy either, but there's nothing we can do about it."

He nodded and took in a deep breath, "I will kill you if I find out in any way you harmed her."

"I would have already killed myself by the time you heard," Embry grinned at Logan.

I had a feeling Logan would learn to cope just like me.

o-0-o-0-o

"She's kind of boring if you think about it," Sadie muttered, trying her hardest to get Hannah to smile for her.

I snorted a laugh, "Yeah, unless you have to take care of her twenty-four seven."

"You love her," Sadie said, straightening in her seat.

Good thing too, people were starting to stare at her as she made weird noises and faces at Hannah.

"I do," I smiled back and smiled down at Hannah.

She smiled back and Sadie gasped, her brown eyes widening.

"You smile at her and she smiles, I can't get her to do a thing even if I'm making a fool of myself!"

"I have practice," I smiled down at her as she let out a giggle as I crossed my eyes.

She laughed with her, them both laughing made me smile.

"So, how are you and Paul," she smirked, taking a sip of her Frappuccino?

"Good I guess," I raised an eyebrow at her.

"You guess," another sip, "what's questionable about it?"

"You're asking questionable questions. Why, do you think there's something wrong?"

She shrugged, "I don't know, you've never been with a guy this long."

"Is that bad," I asked, watching as Hannah's eyes started tearing up as the pacifier fell out of her mouth?

She shrugged again, "I guess not."

I picked the pacifier up off of her stomach and stuck it back in her mouth. She wiggled her arms around in an excited fashion.

"Now you're guessing," I pointed out.

She sighed, "I don't know, the whole thing is just weird. You didn't know Paul before and it hasn't even been a year, but yet you're so serious."

"I thought this was about it being weird that this is my longest relationship?"

"Just forget it," she muttered, spinning her finger along the rim of her cup.

"No, tell me," I said, leaning back in my chair.

"You just got serious really fast in my opinion."

"Wait," I held up my hand, "is this because it took a long time for you to get Danny?"

She looked at me appalled, "You think I'm jealous?"

"No-"

"Yes, you do," she nodded her head, "at least I didn't sleep with him just weeks after meeting him."

I was shocked, hurt. She thought this before when I told her, but yet she acted like it was the greatest thing in the world.

"I try to make relationships instead of getting drunk out of my mind and then fucking the closer male," she growled, her deep brown eyes ablaze with ferocity.

"So, this how you really feel," I questioned, trying to keep my voice low, "You didn't have to hang around with me, you know?"

"Paul is the only guy that is able to be with a whore like you. No other guy would be with you, so, you're trying to hold on tight of him as tight as you can, throwing yourself a pity party so he will stay," she hissed through her teeth.

I stared at her in complete shock, "Then, if you think I throw a pity party, then why did you hang around me?"

"Because I felt bad, but now I see-"

"No," I shook my head at her, my head feeling like it was about to burst, "you liked all the drama in my life, you thrive on it because of your stupid boring life with you cat."

Her jaw went slack and I could see her eyes filling with tears, she got up leaving her cup on the table, "Have a nice life, Alexia."

She pushed through the glass door of the coffee shop and I watched her storm to her car, speeding off, car horns blaring at her.

All eyes in the coffee shop fell on me, curiosity and annoyance written on their face.

Hannah looked at me and I knew she was about to start crying, but the shock was keeping it in.

I quickly got up, pushing her stroller out under the drizzling sky. I pushed the top over here as I started hearing he cry and I started walking as fast as I could to the car parked along the sidewalk next to the park.

I got her in her car seat, her wailing not stopping, and folded up the stroller into the trunk. I got myself into the car, the closed in space making her crying ring in my ears.

I felt the lump in my throat form and soon, my tears came rushing out onto my cheeks. My cries muffled by Hannah's.

I said things that I didn't really mean, but thoughts that lingered in the back of my mind like the boogey monster. I denied them, telling myself it can't be true. Were they true? They couldn't be, could they?

Would she really hang out with me for getting a thrill out of life? She did always say that my life is like a soap opera…

No, that couldn't be it. She wouldn't do that. Could she of hung out with me like she said, because she felt bad for me?

Did she really think of me as a whore?

With each question, more tears streamed down my face, mascara rushing with it. My eyes burned, my throat hurt, my face was caked with make-up, and my head was starting to feel light, but eventually my tears only fell in singles and my sobs turned into hiccups.

I put the car in drive, letting myself pull out of the parallel spot I was in, the drizzling turned into a downpour.

"It's okay, Hannah," I whispered, my voice hoarse, "it's okay."

o-0-o-0-o

"What are you doing here," Logan asked, opening his door to his apartment?

I was supposed to keep her all day because Sadie wanted to see her since she hasn't seen her in a while; usually she was left with Logan.

"Um, can I talk to you later about it," I asked, shuffling Hannah's weight in my arms?

He nodded his head, "Sure, come in."

He opened the door wider for me and I stepped in, it was a mess. Toys scattered the floors, cups littered every surfaces, along with bottles, and clothes throw about.

"What have you been doing," I laughed, setting Hannah on the couch as she sucked on her binky?

He scratched his head, "Well, it's not like I have a maid."

"That's surprising," I muttered.

He smiled at me and went and sat next to Hannah on the couch, "Have you decided what you're going to do for school?"

"I think I may do it online," I said, glad that the conversation was distracting me.

"Good," he nodded, "so, will you still be at your house?"

"Where else would I go," I asked.

He tickled at Hannah's feet as she kicked them around wildly, "I don't know."

"I'm not living with Paul if that's what you thinking," I assured him, tension releasing in his shoulders, "I can't take her away that far from you."

It true, it's a long drive and I wouldn't want to make that drive every weekend and Wednesday. Plus, it's just easier when I need for him to watch her when it's my time with her. Moving to La Push would just be adding more stress; Paul can run faster here than I can drive there.

"Okay."

"You okay with her here," I asked?

"Yeah, I like having her here," he smiled down at her, acting like he was attacking her as she giggled.

"I'll tell you later, I just don't want to talk about it right now," I muttered, heading back towards the door, "I'll see you tomorrow morning?"

"Yep," he grinned.

"Love you, Hannah," I called to her, a big happy smile on her face, her bright blue eyes joyed with her father attacking her.

"Say bye," Logan cooed, waving her chubby arm at me.

I laughed as she looked at him like he was a crazy man, "Bye Logan."

"Bye," he called as I was shutting the door behind me.

o-0-o-0-o

"I thought you were with Sadie today," Paul asked as I let him in the front door?

"I was," I said, leading him into the living room.

"What happened," he sighed, throwing himself on the couch before grabbing me by my waist and pulling me on top of him?

"She told me what she really thinks," I murmured, "She thinks I'm throwing a pity party to make you feel guilty, so you have to stay with me."

He chuckled, "But you know that's not true."

"I know," I sighed, leaning further into him, "but that's what she thinks and no other guy would want to be with me since I got pregnant."

"I'm sorry," he muttered, kissing my hair and tightening his grip on me.

It was silent for a few, but inside my head there was a big battle raging, I needed to tell him some things. It wasn't anything he asked, but I feel like he should know, he should know how many guys I've been with.

"Paul."

"Hmm?"

"You know I've been with other guys like that before, right?"

"Yeah," he said, he didn't know where I was going with this.

"It's more than you probably think though," I went on.

He kept his cool, but I felt his body under me stiffen, "I'm sure it's not that bad."

"The baseball team," I said.

Any movement he was making before stopped, "All of them?"

"All of them," I confirmed, all eighteen guys, Logan and Danny included.

Maybe that's why Sadie said all of those things. Did she find out that I slept with him? I never told her, I knew she would be mad, furious.

"That's the past," Paul finally said, "you were hurt, you didn't know what you were doing.'

I nodded, "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry about," he laughed?

"For being a whore," I muttered, letting my hands slid up and down his arms.

"Don't be because you're not a whore or ever was," he kissed my temple, "You ended up with me in the end though and I will be your last person you sleep with."

"You will," I smirked, twisting around in his arms, straddling his lap, "I love you."

"I love you too," he whispered, his breath hitting my lips.

* * *

**Okay, I know it isn't the greatest story, but that really wasn't a big turn out. Please, you have to tell me what you think because if not, I wont know people like it and I will focus all of my writing time on my other works. What did you think? Thanks for reading!**

**~AlwaysConfusedArtist~**


	17. Girls

**Well, it seems you all were holding out on me! ;) If you guys can show me what you think about this story, I lose all motivation of writing it. I hope you still feel the characters because from my long parting of them they started to fade, but yet they are always there! So, please, please tell me what you think! :)**

* * *

"Are you sure you need to go that far away," I asked, leaning against the car door as Nathan pulled out his suitcase of the back of his Kia Optima?

He smiled at me, "It's college, Alexia."

I sighed, I had to drop him off at the airport and that included luging along Arianna.

"I know, but you're really going to leave me here," I put on a puppy dog eyes?

"You'll be fine, now we have to go or we will miss our flight," he said, pulling out Arianna's bigger than needed suitcase.

I walked into the airport with him; Arianna babbling along about God knows what.

The SeaTac Airport is pretty busy people coming back from vacation and probably doing what we're doing.

"Come on Nathan," Arianna whined, pulling her one small suitcase that she was going to carry on.

"Hang on," Nathan muttered, breathless with his load of her even bigger suitcase that she was checking.

We checked her bag and I walked with them to security.

"Be good, Alexia," Nathan smiled.

"What else would I be," I laughed as we both pulled in for a hug.

"Really," Nathan murmured into my ear.

"I will," I said into his shoulder, "I love you."

"Love you too, little sis," he grinned at me, pulling me out at arm's length, "See you for Thanksgiving?"

"For sure," I nodded.

"Don't change to much by then and tell Hannah not to do anything cute while I'm gone," he pulled up the handle to the suitcase, moving in along the line.

"That's impossible," I sighed dramatically, "Bye Arianna."

She turned around gave me her sickly sweet smile, "Bye Alexia," she said, turning around flipping her blond hair.

I laughed, "See ya, big bro."

"See ya!"

I laughed and walked away, shaking my head to myself.

I was going to miss him, but I think going away will be good for him, not to mention this will help him loads in the future. I just hope he will be good, get good grades and try his hardest. If I'm lucky, maybe he will break up with Arianna in time that I don't have to see her for Thanksgiving, but I'm never that lucky.

0.o.o.0

I knocked on the door, listening to scuffling resonating from inside and a few seconds later Kim poked her head through the door.

"You know, you really don't have to knock anymore," she asked, swinging the door open?

"It's polite," I reminded her, "Where's the guys?"

"They should be home soon; they were hanging out with the others on the beach. It's a guy's thing," she sighed, flopping onto the couch.

"Guys thing," I questioned, trailing after her and sitting on the couch.

"Yeah, apparently acting like a bunch of morons down at the beach is a guy's thing," she laughed, flipping through an open book.

I laughed, "When are they not acting like morons?"

"True," she nodded.

"So, how's life," I asked, turning my head from the news castor telling us that there was going to be a thunder storm coming in around dinner time?

"Eh, nothing exciting."

"How can that be when you have a werewolf boyfriend?"

"Let me re-phrase that," she smiled, flipping another page, "as normal as it can be living with supernaturals."

"That could be good," I thought, it's better than there being something wrong, right?

She shrugged, "I guess."

"Is it boring here?"

She looked over at me and smiled, setting the book on the coffee table, "You don't even know."

"Why don't you and Jared go and do something?"

She leaned back and settled on the arm of the brown couch, "It's not like we don't because we do. We both have always lived in La Push, growing up here. I see how Jared doesn't really want to leave because it is home, it's my home too, but I just feel so claustrophobic here, you know?"

I nodded, getting what she was saying. I grew up in Olympia. Olympia is my home, but I want to get out and see that world too, but now that's going to be kind of hard with Hannah, but I can't blame her. Before I thought of going to college, preferably far away and coming back to live in Seattle, so I can be close, but not too close.

Now, I have to think about good neighborhoods to have Hannah grow up in, schools. I can't think of just me anymore and I have come to realize that.

"It's like Jared promised though, couple more years here then we will be gone," she nodded to herself like she tells herself this over and over again, maybe her mantra.

I nodded with her as we stared at the television flickering, two of the news castors laughing at something that was as corny as an ear of corn.

Right when the news castors where about to go over the same news they just went over, the door burst open, a flood of shirtless men overflowing the door.

"Just when I thought I was actually going to get some peace and quiet," Kim sighed dramatically.

"Ah, you know you missed me," Jared smirked.

"Not one bit."

"How's Hannah," Embry questioned as soon as he followed in through the door after Brady and Collin?

"Good as usual," I smiled.

"Is that my snooky poo I hear," I heard Paul chime from just outside the door.

"Dude," Brady called from the kitchen, "please do not start the lovey dovey shit, I'm already exposed to it enough."

"Someone's a jelly filled donut," Collin cooed.

Paul grinned at me mischievously and bounded over the couch landing right beside me.

I shook my head at him and laughed lightly, giving him a light peck on his warm cheek.

"Really," he tipped his head to the side?

"Really what?"

He turned his head the other way and squinted, "That's all I get, the cheek."

"Isn't better than nothing?"

"Ah, just shut the hell up! You're going to make me waste this perfectly good sandwich," Brady whined, pulling himself into the suede chair.

"Look at it this way, Brady," Collin offered, "we get all you can get romance for free!"

"I don't want that mushy stuff," Brady muttered around the sandwich.

"Hey Kimmy," Jared called before letting himself fall into Kim's lap.

"Jared?"

"Yes."

"Get off of me," she growled, her breath straining under his weight.

"It's pretty comfy here though," he sighed, letting his head fall to the side.

Kim grumbled at him under her breath as she tried to worthlessly push him off, "Jared, you are such an asshole."

"But I'm your asshole," he sang and looked over at Brady and Collin, "Hey, where's my sandwich!"

"It's called making your own," Brady smiled over his sandwich.

"Nope, that's why I have a woman," Jared shook his head, pulling himself up and Kim in all one swift movement, "Now, get in there and make me a samitch woman!"

He slapped her butt and she stood there appalled before grabbing a handful of books and storming into their bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

"I hope you know Jared Cameron you will be sleeping on the couch!"

"What," Jared questioned?

"She said that-"

Jared cut Collin off and flew into the doorway, a second later his pounding and pleading at the door echoed through the house.

"Kim, it was a joke!"

"Jared, shut the hell up and just leave!"

"Come on Kimmy!"

"My mind has been made, Jared!"

Jared slumped back into the living room like a scolded dog.

"I hope you know this is your entire fault," Jared grumbled, pointing accusing at the two boys holding now empty plates.

"This is all on you, man."

"Yeah," Collin nodded, "you had to go and try to act like a funny man."

"You want to walk with me," Paul asked, pulling up from the couch?

I nodded, getting up with him and taking his hand.

~ACA~

We ended up at the docks, our feet dangling in the icy green water, talking.

"Have you thought about school," Paul asked, letting his weight fall back on his arms behind him?

I sighed and my head fell onto his waiting shoulder, "I don't know, maybe I should just get my GED."

"You want me to tell you what I think?"

"What do you think," I shifted my head up to look at his handsome face gazing over the water.

"I think you should finish high school."

"Paul," I muttered, "you know I can't, not with Hannah."

"We can work it out."

"How?"

I sat back and crossed my legs over each other; my eyes glancing up at the swirling oranges and pink in the dim sky.

"You know my parents won't watch her."

"That's not what I was thinking," he mumbled.

"Then tell me what you were think," I urged.

He pulled his feet out of the water, pulling them up to his knees and settling his hands over them. His head fell down to his hands as a light wind rumpled up his hair, his black hair going into a crazy mess.

"What if the pack helps?"

I bit my lip, "I can't drive that far every day to just drop her off."

His grey eyes glinted in the sun, "You could always move in with me."

"Paul," I sighed, crawling over to him and pressing my hands against his warm cheeks, "I know you don't care about Logan, but he still has the right to see his own daughter."

"We can take her back and forth," he grinned, "Mr. Fancypants won't have to worry."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "You're willing to drive her there?"

"Really Alexia," he twisted his head in my grip, "you would be really that lazy? We would only drive her on Wednesdays and then we can drive her down Friday and pick her up Sunday night."

"Logan won't be able to watch her Wednesdays, remember," I smirked?

He rolled his eyes, "That only makes you ten times lazier."

"You will be making these trips with me," I asked, picking a piece of lint off of his grey shirt?

"Ye- is that a yes?"

I sighed, "I guess it is."

The next thing I knew, I was lifted off of my feet and spun around. My vision blurred around me as I closed my eyes and held them firmly closed, listening to Paul's yips of joy. I laughed with him as he set me back down, but pulled me into his tight embrace which I was actually thankful for. I wouldn't fall down with the world spinning around me.

"Are you sure," he breathed?

"Yes, but I still have to talk to my mom," mumbled into his soft shirt.

"Do you think she will yes," he asked with hopeful eyes?

I nodded, "I think, she may even be happy."

"Would you be happy?"

"Yes, Paul, you know that-"

I was cut off with a loud howl echoed to our ears, the sorrow call floating all the way from the faraway trees to the docks.

"Shit," Paul's face fell.

"Is that bad," I guessed stupidly?

"It's not good," he muttered, running a hand through his hair, "I'll take you back to my place, I mean our place."

I rolled my eyes, but smiled feeling his hand slip into mine, leading me back up the wooden docks.

0.o.o.0

"I was waiting to leave after you got back," Jared said before going around us and leaving.

Kim sat on the couch, glaring at the innocent television with her arms crossed.

"I'll be back in a few," Paul muttered behind me.

I turned around and gripped onto him, "Be careful."

He leaned down, giving me a chaste kiss, "Always am."

"Good luck," I said, pulling away from him.

He leaned down, his breath sweeping across my cheek, "I think you will be the one needing luck," he looked pointedly over my shoulder.

I smiled and nodded.

"See you, baby! Duty calls!"

He left me chuckling as I glanced warily over my shoulder, Kim didn't look any less relaxed.

I shuffled back over to the couch, resuming our positions we were in before the guys decided to ruin the 'peace and quiet'.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, not really knowing why I was sorry, but I still I said it.

I saw Kim give in to a little smile, "Why would you be sorry, for me having an asshole as an imprint?"

"No, I just feel bad I guess."

"Why would you feel bad," she sighed, pulling her legs up onto the couch?

I shrugged, "I'm sorry you're feeling bad."

"Don't worry," she grinned, "it will be gone once Jared gets a taste of sleeping on the couch."

I laughed, "So, he's really in the doghouse?"

"You bet your ass," she chuckled, leaning behind her to reach for the control off of the side table.

I watched as she flicked through the channels for a second before turning to me.

"You want to have a movie night with me," she grinned, looking out as the sky were turning grey, "It would be the perfect setting for this scary movie, it's not too scary don't worry your little sensitive head."

She got up, without me even answering.

"I'm not really sure," I muttered, looking warily out the windows, thinking of Paul out there doing his 'job'.

A tense wave rolled through my body, I really tried not to think what his 'job' was, and it was too hard to think about. It's not like I haven't heard the stories about where some of them have gotten hurt, mostly all of them have at least came back with broken bones once.

I think Kim could read my face, she has probably seen it on her face many times.

"Come on, it will get your mind off of it," her excited grin turned into a more caring one, "you can even borrow some of my more comfy clothes."

0.o.o.0

After pulling on some soft looking shorts from Kim and throwing off my cardigan, leaving only my tank top on, and Kim making some popcorn, we settled down for the movie.

"So, what is this movie," I asked, fixing the quilt around me?

"Disturbia, have you seen it," she popped a piece of popcorn in her mouth?

"The one with Shia LaBeouf," I guessed, she nodded, "then yes I have."

"Cool, it's a good one."

I laughed as the previews whizzed by and the sound of the disc spinning in the DVD player hummed. Thunder cracked outside as Kim pressed play and grinned wildly at me.

"This is going to be good."

I shook my head, "You better hope this isn't going to give me a heart attack."

"Don't worry," she reassured, "I will be here enduring it with you."

"That makes me feel so much better," I sighed sarcastically, my body leaning further into the pillow in my side when the movie began.

"Don't you think we shouldn't be watching a scary movie in our situation," I looked worriedly over at her?

"Oh my little Alexy, you must hear the logic of dear old Kim," she tsked, "if we watched a lighthearted movie, we wouldn't be able to enjoy it with laughing because the bad thoughts overcome the good. If we watch a somewhat scary movie, our worry will be overrun by our worries about the characters and enthrall our minds more."

I raised an eyebrow.

"I study phycology, remember?"

I smiled and nodded though in fact I did forget what she was studying.

0.o.o.0

The silhouettes of the shadows flickered across the forest green walls as the thunder clapped and the lighting illuminated the cozy room.

The absolutely psychotic characters came up with the great plan of going inside the suspected serial killers house. I must admit, I probably wouldn't have the guts to do that, but it is completely stupid.

"Who is that really dumb to go inside that house," Kim whispered, her hand digging into the popcorn bowl.

"I don't know," I shrugged, "I bet we know some people who would go in."

She chuckled, "Right, dumb and dumber."

"Do you think they're going to back soon," I looked outside, the rain coming down hard.

"Alexia, don't worry," Kim sighed, sliding the popcorn bowl over to me, "Have some popcorn."

For a few more minutes I watched the movie play on, but my mind wasn't paying attention to it. My mind wandered off to dangerous thoughts, so I thought about something that could occupy my mind because the movie didn't seem to be working.

"Kim," she turned her head to me, "how did you meet Jared."

"Really," she giggled, "you want me to sit here and tell you an old story like a grandmother?"

I nodded.

"Well, it's not that interesting actually. Jared was always one of the cooler kids, playing on the basketball team and I was the weird nerdy girl," she sighed and shook her head, "It really is just some sort of cliché love story, Alexia."

"Go on," I smiled, encouraging.

She sighed again and fixed her legs underneath her, but grinned at me.

"When Jared imprinted on me and was trying to hang out with me, I was shrilling like a little schoolgirl. I didn't really accept it and pretty much acted as if it wasn't reality. To sum it up, I was a sarcastic bitch."

"I'm pretty sure you weren't a bitch," I muttered.

"Ask Jared," she shrugged, "it wasn't until he started making moves on me I started really freaking out. He tried to kiss me down at the beach one day and I freaked, I don't even think I said any coherent words," she chuckled, "but Jared being a dumb ass as he is, he thought that was the best time to show me he was a wolf."

"What did you do," I sat up straighter like this was the climax of the movie, but the movie on television was just a muted sound in the background?

"I ran of course."

"You ran," I screeched, holding back laughs?

"Like a bat out of hell," she nodded seriously, "you took it way better than me."

"Why would Jared show you when you were already freaking out?"

"Alexia, if you haven't noticed, Jared isn't the sharpest crayon in the box."

"Come on, he can't be that stupid," I smiled, reaching for some popcorn.

"Eh," she shrugged, "he can be pretty stupid, but I can tell you one thing, he helped me pass math."

"Really," I asked, stunned?

"Yep," she nodded, "the big Dumbo actually gets that crap."

"Interesting," I smiled, "so, what did he do when he ran?"

"He practically tackled me," she laughed, "and kissed me."

"Aw," I embarrassed her, nudging at her shoulder.

"Whatever," she shook her head, "so tell me your little love story."

"You probably already heard it from Paul," I tried to get out of it, but I could tell by her smile, she wasn't going to let up.

"I want to hear it from your point of view."

"Well, you know about my psychotic mother, right," she nodded, "my mom didn't want me talking to kind like him. She heard from her boss that you guys were a bunch of hooligans."

Kim threw her head back and laughed, "Well, he was right."

"Yeah, know I know. Anyways, I went right ahead and kept in contact with him in other ways and we starting sneaking around."

"Corn maze, Halloween-"

"Right," I nodded my head. I took another breath to go on, but Kim interrupted me.

"I don't know why this didn't happen sooner," Kim shook her head.

"What happen," I asked, confused?

"This rebellion."

I shrugged, I never really thought of anything different than going against my parents. I was always told to just do as I was told to do because I had a roof over my head.

"I didn't know any different," I put it simpler; "nobody taught me differently, I didn't want to do any different."

I picked at a loose piece of string on the quilt. I don't think I ever wanted to do anything different than what I was told to do, it made my parents happy. If they were happy, I would be happy too, right?

"_Alexia," her face towered over me, her red lips pursing, "do not cry!"_

_I hiccupped, pulling at the uncomfortable, frilly dress, "I don't like it."_

"_It will make your mother and father very happy, wouldn't that make you happy," she put her hands on her hips and glared down at me, her cold blue eyes sparkling._

"_Yes," I blubbered out, letting go of the edge of the dress._

"_Oh, Alexia," Dad came out of their bedroom in his suit, "you look beautiful!"_

"_See, you made Dad happy," Mom glinted her perfectly white teeth at me, "Nathan!"_

I shivered at the memory. I didn't have the best childhood to say the least.

"Oh, Alexia," Kim whispered, "you don't have to talk about it."

I gave her a weak smile, "It's fine, you should know since I'm going to be living with you."

"What," she asked shocked, "really? When?"

She screeched at me, jumping at me and hugging me tightly.

"This is going to be great," she squealed, "I won't have to live with just guys anymore! You don't know how much it's a relief to know that there will be another girl!"

She squealed again and hugged me tighter from our awkward position as I sat cross legged and she leaned over. It didn't really seem to me that Kim would be this happy, I didn't really even know if she liked me that much.

I was entirely pleased that she was happy that I was moving in, if Mom approved, which I'm pretty sure she will be just as happy as Kim? Maybe she will even include the squealing? Probably not, this was Scarlett Gray we are talking about.

"This is so cool," she muttered, still holding on tight, "I won't be subjected to the animalist humans we call males alone!"

I laughed and she pulled back still holding me at arm's length away with her hands on my shoulders.

"I'm sorry on account of the future for letting you make this awful mistake that you will most likely kill yourself over," she shook her head and pulled me back in.

This was weird, but I felt like we were bonding in some sort of weird way.

"Aw! We missed the girl on girl action again!"

This time it was the one and only love of my life who had to say a perverted thing about Kim and me, but I couldn't say anything as I flung myself at him, into his arms.

"Whoa, I'll say more nasty things if this is how you act," he chuckled, lifting me up to my tip toes by waist.

"Just shut up asshole," I mumbled, grinning from ear to ear at his twinkling grey eyes.

I didn't care that he was soaking wet and it was soaking through my clothes. I wasn't cold in his arms ever, especially when his lips were slowly massaging mine. His tongue slowing tracing the outline of my parted lips, made me drown in his warmth, his love. I wanted to take him to his bedroom and into his warm bed and…

I was cut short of my thoughts as two arms circled Paul and I.

"I want to thank you so much Paul," Kim fake cried.

"For what," Paul laughed, looking down at my kind of annoyed face?

I wasn't mad at Kim per se, but all I really wanted was Paul, like right now.

"For finally getting our dear Alexy to move in to our humble abode! I won't be the only sensible person in the house," she cried hugging us closer.

"What has gotten into her," Paul chuckled, shaking his head.

"Can we stop the mushy shit, you all are really killing my badass vide of just tearing a vampire apart," Brady grumbled, taking the popcorn bowl without an invitation.

"What is this Brady, the seventy's," Collin guffawed, pulling the popcorn out of Brady's hands, "what are we watching?"

"We're," Brady said, pulling the popcorn back, "aren't watching anything."

"See," Kim shook her head and went over the back of the couch, pulling it right out of Brady's hands, "this is what I'm talking about!"

Kim didn't stop smiling even when Jared came through the door.

"I'm so sorry Kim. Will you ever-"

Kim flung herself at Jared, tackling him like a pouncing lion on its prey. Popcorn flew everywhere, but it didn't look like she cared as she attached her lips to his.

"It's all right Jerry," she squealed, "It will be alright, I will have an actual friend to hang with!"

Jared looked very, very scared. His brown eyes looked at us all in questioning, but was unable to say anything due to his fear. I think it would be best if he just shut the hell up anyways, it may make her come to her senses and go back to the mad Kim.

"Once again, what happened," Paul scratched his head?

"I think I really needed and still need girl talk, somebody who gets my complaints," Kim sighed, pushing her and Jared's way onto the already filled couch.

"Girls," Brady muttered, shaking his head.

"I think I will like it here," I smiled up at Paul before resuming our kiss Kim rudely interrupted with her crazy spaz attack.

* * *

**Tell me what you think! What's up with spazzy Kim? What's going through you mind right... NOW! Pancakes perhaps? :)**

**~AlwaysConfusedArtist~**


End file.
